matt: trapdoor spider
@trapdoorspider.bsky.social
exploded yesterday
he/him, gay for women
he/him, gay for women
I understand your point, but personally, as the most correct person who has ever lived, I think you’re wrong and stupid
December 2, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I understand your point, but personally, as the most correct person who has ever lived, I think you’re wrong and stupid
as part of our conservation program we are giving 12-gauge shotguns to all clouded leopards in our wildlife reserve. we’d like to remind our visitors “good luck, lmao”
December 2, 2025 at 7:59 PM
as part of our conservation program we are giving 12-gauge shotguns to all clouded leopards in our wildlife reserve. we’d like to remind our visitors “good luck, lmao”
surgery that gives you a space elevator in your hometown
December 1, 2025 at 2:46 AM
surgery that gives you a space elevator in your hometown
having empirically incorrect opinions about architecture is a burden. everyone would hate living in my perfect world. but that’s fine
November 25, 2025 at 5:15 PM
having empirically incorrect opinions about architecture is a burden. everyone would hate living in my perfect world. but that’s fine
girlfriend had never even HEARD of strip calculus before
November 22, 2025 at 11:52 PM
girlfriend had never even HEARD of strip calculus before
I am a temporarily embarrassed cisgender heterosexual patriarch. my only fetish is nuclear war
November 22, 2025 at 8:31 PM
I am a temporarily embarrassed cisgender heterosexual patriarch. my only fetish is nuclear war
I used to think cinnabon was a fictional place from Animorphs
November 22, 2025 at 6:49 PM
I used to think cinnabon was a fictional place from Animorphs
world of warcraft has been described as “the fortnite of the gaming industry
November 20, 2025 at 7:46 PM
world of warcraft has been described as “the fortnite of the gaming industry
forniphilia but for stupid sharper image catalogue gimmick furniture. turning a girl into a bluetooth-enabled RGB novelty-shaped combination printer/smart rice cooker/aquarium $89.99 [free one year warranty]
November 18, 2025 at 5:59 PM
forniphilia but for stupid sharper image catalogue gimmick furniture. turning a girl into a bluetooth-enabled RGB novelty-shaped combination printer/smart rice cooker/aquarium $89.99 [free one year warranty]
giving her eurion pattern hickeys
November 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
giving her eurion pattern hickeys
I’m sorry for calling it a Severance (2022) reference when you switched who was fronting in the elevator. but in my defense,
November 11, 2025 at 6:41 PM
I’m sorry for calling it a Severance (2022) reference when you switched who was fronting in the elevator. but in my defense,
yeah so I’m actually lifestyle stupid. like 24/7. yeah no I don’t “drop the act.” it might seem extreme but it works for me
November 8, 2025 at 4:32 PM
yeah so I’m actually lifestyle stupid. like 24/7. yeah no I don’t “drop the act.” it might seem extreme but it works for me
I have a condition where every 6 months or so I have to form a cult of personality on discord
November 6, 2025 at 3:09 AM
I have a condition where every 6 months or so I have to form a cult of personality on discord
urge to ask the maintenance guy if he can blast me full force with the leafblower just so I can feel something
November 5, 2025 at 9:02 PM
urge to ask the maintenance guy if he can blast me full force with the leafblower just so I can feel something
I could easily bench a mountain lion provided one of them let me do it. if the mountain lion was uncooperative I think I would have a hard time
October 5, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I could easily bench a mountain lion provided one of them let me do it. if the mountain lion was uncooperative I think I would have a hard time
when icarus first started falling he was all, ahhh shit the folly of man’s hubris! and so on. but by the end? water bucket clutch. there is nothing that cannot be overcome through planning and determination. that’s why I am proposing we send troops to europa
October 3, 2025 at 11:28 PM
when icarus first started falling he was all, ahhh shit the folly of man’s hubris! and so on. but by the end? water bucket clutch. there is nothing that cannot be overcome through planning and determination. that’s why I am proposing we send troops to europa
stay tuned: in 2026 I will be ramping up production of evil and sinister cubes and other devices
October 3, 2025 at 7:49 PM
stay tuned: in 2026 I will be ramping up production of evil and sinister cubes and other devices
detroit chocolate labubu…
October 2, 2025 at 6:47 AM
detroit chocolate labubu…
all my bad bitches heterospecifics
September 28, 2025 at 8:27 PM
all my bad bitches heterospecifics
happy batesian-wallacian mimic girl autumn everybody
September 27, 2025 at 8:05 PM
happy batesian-wallacian mimic girl autumn everybody
I wanna listen to every song at once
September 20, 2025 at 7:12 PM
I wanna listen to every song at once
Reposted by matt: trapdoor spider
einstein invented special relativity as a way to increase the age gaps in twin yuri
September 20, 2025 at 2:53 PM
einstein invented special relativity as a way to increase the age gaps in twin yuri
anyone else feel lowkey naked leaving the house without clothes
September 18, 2025 at 11:10 PM
anyone else feel lowkey naked leaving the house without clothes
regrettably I was born too early to die in in a space war but thankfully I was born just in time to bother friends and loved ones by saying things like “hawk tuah. perform literary analysis on that thang”
September 18, 2025 at 7:39 PM
regrettably I was born too early to die in in a space war but thankfully I was born just in time to bother friends and loved ones by saying things like “hawk tuah. perform literary analysis on that thang”
in my new play, the actors break the first wall. now you can look at the actors getting changed backstage I guess. pervert
September 15, 2025 at 7:30 PM
in my new play, the actors break the first wall. now you can look at the actors getting changed backstage I guess. pervert