Tom Gardiner
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thogar.bsky.social
Tom Gardiner
@thogar.bsky.social
570 followers 520 following 2.8K posts
Reality is overrated.

User #356,149. I've been here a while, I don't do much.
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thogar.bsky.social
One! One very good point! Ah ah ah ah...
Social media post that says : I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was. I said, "the muppet from Sesame Street. They told me, "he doesn't count!" I replied, "I assure you, he does."
November 23, 2025 at 7:52 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I'm serious about turkey, y'all. #HappyThanksgiving
Photo of a tag on a frozen turkey showing a weight of 23.84 pounds.
November 22, 2025 at 3:58 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Who's hungry? I've got left-overs. #biscuits
A pan of homemade biscuits missing 2 biscuits.
November 20, 2025 at 1:33 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Damned teenagers'll eat anything
Social media post that shows a poster with the poorly-worded title: Download advice on feeding newborns to teens. The comment by the poster is: Editors are still a valuable commodity.
November 17, 2025 at 3:21 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy
November 17, 2025 at 2:56 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Thanks to healthcare in the USA I just bought a good used car from a brand called Oral Surgery.
November 15, 2025 at 6:03 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Smokey Bear approves. (About the only thing AI is good for)
November 13, 2025 at 6:32 PM
thogar.bsky.social
my inside voice
Social media post of a dialog between 2 people. It reads as follows. Stranger: Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to 425 Franklin Street please? Me: Oh for sure, so what you're gonna wanna do is type the address into your phone and then do what it says
November 9, 2025 at 6:06 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Me flirting...
November 8, 2025 at 12:21 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I care about my job (when I'm on the clock).
A picture of a plane from the childrens' show Thomas the Tank Engine with a warzone in the background. The little plane is smiling while flying away from the melee. It's captioned, "When your workplace is in chaos but your shift is over."
November 8, 2025 at 12:01 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Someone finally realized we all want to feel like we're shitting in a truck stop stall, but from the comfort of our own homes.
A picture of Charmin's new "Forever Roll" that looks just like those giant truck stop bathroom stall rolls of toilet paper.
November 5, 2025 at 1:33 PM
thogar.bsky.social
live view from cuomo hq
November 5, 2025 at 10:42 AM
thogar.bsky.social
I fired up my air fryer and made some bacon-wrapped, shrimp-stuffed jalapeño poppers with a core of thickened, sweet pepper jam and a pepper jam glaze. This was an experiment, I feverishly ate four. Spicy, sweet, salty, smokey. I'm calling this one a success.
November 4, 2025 at 9:54 PM
thogar.bsky.social
She forgot to add that it's freezing, too.
Single panel comic of a man sitting on the table of a doctor's exam room wearing a hospital gown and getting his blood pressure taken. The clinician says to him, "Now that you're semi-nude under garish lighting with a total stranger in an environment synonymous with illness and death, let's take your blood pressure to see if it's normal."
November 4, 2025 at 4:16 PM
thogar.bsky.social
If you haven't seen flowers, how will you know the gentleness of the wind, motherfucker?! Oh, and nice to see you. Motherfucker.
(found on random Amazon pkg)
A sticker on a white box from Amazon. It's a picture of a flower. Above it are the words, "Nice to meet you" and below it is, "People who have seen flowers will know the gentleness of the wind."
November 2, 2025 at 4:42 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I spent the last 3 days cleaning and repainting our 29-year-old storage shed. As I was closing the doors on a job well done one of the doors broke. Guess who's building new doors?
November 1, 2025 at 11:40 PM
thogar.bsky.social
After last night's magic shell dessert I decided to follow up tonight with hot fudge sauce. And yes, I went to the store and got whipped cream, maraschino cherries, and more ice cream.

I need an intervention, or more stretchy pants.
October 31, 2025 at 1:00 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Yesterday was a good day to be my mouth. Chicken & sausage gumbo for dinner, vanilla ice cream on cinnamon grahams covered in homemade peanut butter chocolate magic shell and chopped, roasted, and salted peanuts.

I was out of whipped cream and cherries, but I survived.
October 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I remembered I still have that "fuckin pie" clip my friend made. Tell me I'm wrong! Get ready for a different Christmas. 😂
October 29, 2025 at 12:55 AM
thogar.bsky.social
My wife's old Fossil leather purse had a zipper malfunction. A bit of time, proper thread, and copious amounts of profanity and I've replaced that fukn zipr
October 28, 2025 at 10:46 PM
thogar.bsky.social
My security cameras caught a significant event outside my home at 5am. I GOT DOUBLE DUMPED, Y'ALL!

brb, goin' buy lottery tickets
October 28, 2025 at 12:19 PM
thogar.bsky.social
It's a drug deal
Social media post that says, "Every time I've gone to the pharmacy for a prescription it feels like it's the first day for everyone who works there and also for the concept of a pharmacy."
October 27, 2025 at 5:27 PM
thogar.bsky.social
This is what I get for hiring a raccoon to install gutters on my house. Didn't sleep a wink, trash everywhere.

0/5-stars
October 20, 2025 at 1:27 PM
thogar.bsky.social
It kinda does
Social media post that says, "Every time I've gone to the pharmacy for a prescription it feels like it's the first day for everyone who works there and also for the concept of a pharmacy."
October 19, 2025 at 1:42 AM
thogar.bsky.social
#RelationshipHacks
Social media post that says, My Wife and are sitting on the couch watching TV and hear a text, realizing left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it... and it's a text from my wife: "Please bring the chips on your way back"
October 18, 2025 at 4:57 PM