Tom Gardiner
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thogar.bsky.social
Tom Gardiner
@thogar.bsky.social
570 followers 520 following 2.8K posts
Reality is overrated.

User #356,149. I've been here a while, I don't do much.
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thogar.bsky.social
Every winter, weather in the deep South goes through the meteorological equivalent of puberty
Text that says, Louisiana weather just be throwing out temperatures like Power Ball Numbers 56 32 19 44 68 27
December 31, 2025 at 2:57 PM
thogar.bsky.social
My zone is exactly the size of Earth. Bye.
Social media post that says, Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.
December 29, 2025 at 3:04 PM
thogar.bsky.social
I want in on this email list
A social media post, presented as an email subject. It says, "hi Margaret, I hope this email blows your tits clean off"
December 29, 2025 at 2:59 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Have a duck and a smile
My hand holding a stuffed yellow toy duck while my small white dog excitedly stands on his hind legs.
December 29, 2025 at 3:57 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Forget sharks
Peacock feathers can emit laser beams, a first in the animal kingdom
Scientists get peacock feathers to emit laser light after adding dye and green pulses, revealing surprising biophotonic applications.
www.earth.com
December 28, 2025 at 5:18 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Meanwhile, in the antimatter universe...
Photo of a section of a misspelled medical report that reads, "Patient has an insulin pimp." The comment above says, "found the opposite of a sugar daddy"
December 27, 2025 at 3:03 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Me during the holidays
Social media post that says, "! am doing the opposite of a cleanse. am doing the clog"
December 27, 2025 at 2:59 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Time to play "So, You Wanna Rename Shit?"
A file cabinet labeled "The Epstein Files." A tiny ladder going up the front has a tiny person on it adding above the file name, "The Donald J Trump and" in gold lettering
December 26, 2025 at 3:29 AM
thogar.bsky.social
I hope everyone has a good #Christmas*

*Not everyone is eligie for this offer. Some restrictions apply.
December 25, 2025 at 2:01 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Maybe everyone else is singing the wrong song
December 24, 2025 at 6:23 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Holiday snack tip
A close up picture of cinnamon rolls with the caption, "If you know how many calories are in your cinnamon bun, you're eating it wrong."
December 24, 2025 at 3:32 AM
thogar.bsky.social
I've been on a homemade biscuit kick lately. I finally got tired of baking little batches and made 34 biscuitd that I froze. They cook great straight out of the freezer.
A round cake pan with freshly baked homemade biscuits. A large, rectangular baking pan in the freezer with 20 uncooked frozen biscuits on parchment paper. A gallon zipper plastic bag filled with frozen biscuits.
December 14, 2025 at 2:33 AM
thogar.bsky.social
If retirement has taught me anything it's that I really excel at fucking off
December 11, 2025 at 4:27 AM
thogar.bsky.social
You don't even have to be nominated, just hungry.
Sign in front of a restaurant that says, "Free FIFA peace prize with an order of shrimp tacos"
December 10, 2025 at 9:44 PM
thogar.bsky.social
"Hail to the Choad"
Single panel comic titled "Toys you give a child to make them think they're doing simething." There are 4 drawings on a single panel below. One is a cell phone held by a child's hands, the second is a toy steering wheel a child is honking the horn on, the third is one of those "popcorn" toys that's a little like a push mower with a clear dome and balls that pop up when you roll it. The fourth and final drawing is of a made-up FIFA "Peace Prize" being fondled by tiny PITUS hands.
December 10, 2025 at 12:28 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Had a big, fat nostalgia sandwich today
Sliced olive loaf on a slice of white sandwich bread with a second slice of bread with mayo sitting next to it.
December 9, 2025 at 2:11 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Current mood
Past mood
Future mood
Mood
December 5, 2025 at 4:23 PM
thogar.bsky.social
#truth
Social media post that says, How to make friends as an adult: 1. Say "we should hang!" 2.Do not hang. 3.Say "we should hang!" 6 months later. 4. Cancel. 5.Reschedule. 6. Respect their cancelation. 7.Reschedule, 8. Actually hang. 9. Say "we should do this more often!" 10. Die.
December 3, 2025 at 6:00 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Stevie never Wondered, Johnny had the Cash, Neil isn't Young, George is Strait
December 3, 2025 at 1:50 AM
thogar.bsky.social
Best synopsis ever
Social media post that says, A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.
December 3, 2025 at 1:40 AM
thogar.bsky.social
#earworm
A picture of panda lamps with the caption "Woah Black Betty"
December 2, 2025 at 11:32 PM
thogar.bsky.social
All I want for Christmas is you...to shut up
Photoshopped picture of Mariah Carey shopping with the caption, In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store's speaker system.
November 29, 2025 at 10:19 PM
thogar.bsky.social
Instead of a hand he has his head up his ass.
Social media post that says, Times when it's ok to call a woman "Piggy" at your job: -You're a Muppet addressing one of your fellow Muppet coworkers by her actual legal name -Literally that's it
November 28, 2025 at 9:23 PM
thogar.bsky.social
He's onto something
Social media post that says, "each state should have an allocation of 100 years of age for their senators. you can send two 50 year olds but if you want dianne feinstein in the senate you gotta send a 13 year old too"
November 28, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Reposted by Tom Gardiner
christopherbroker.bsky.social
November 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM