My walls are built up so high now that I can hardly take a fucking compliment without feeling guilty, or paranoid. Fuck, even FLIRTING has been making me feel guilty, because I get it in my head that I’m not deserving of that sort of attention. That I haven’t earned it.

I hate this. Fuck.

I wish that the last two years of my life just never happened. I wish I would’ve never proposed, or even met my ex. It would’ve been better for the both of us, in the end.

I don’t know how to come back from it all. Trying to climb out of a pit so steep feels pointless. A fools errand.

I sit here and I whine about not having local friends while I can’t even fucking bring myself to join a discord call full of people who care about me every once in a while. I feel like such a fucking idiot hypocrite loser.

I just miss who I was a few years ago. I miss when I didn’t feel this way.

I feel incredibly unattractive, across all fronts. I feel like I’m just a novelty, an object, to anyone who actually bothers interacting with me beyond surface level.

I’ve yet to make a meaningful connection with anyone since moving to ————-. Not a single local person. I feel so useless.

dating apps have been an absolute bust so far, it feels like things have changed a LOT in the general dating scene in the last 3-5 years man, people hardly ever message back nowadays, and boy it is difficult as all hell to find someone who can actually hold a conversation for more than 5 mins

I’m a big tiger friend to people I care about, and that makes me very happy

ur totally fine brother, its fine for poly folks to be on em, I just wish there was a filter or smth!! Im tired of getting slightly invested like “ooo they’re cute af, and have a lot of similar intere-ohhhh they’re taken”