The Satellite
@thesatellite.bsky.social
he/him
Profile and header art by @thatllamagirl.bsky.social!
🏳️⚧️ trans rights are human rights 🏳️⚧️
https://twitch.tv/thesatellite54
Profile and header art by @thatllamagirl.bsky.social!
🏳️⚧️ trans rights are human rights 🏳️⚧️
https://twitch.tv/thesatellite54
65. Hyrule Warriors: Age of Imprisonment
Probably my favorite Hyrule Warriors solely due to being engaged with the plot and these characters. Mechanically it's not far off Age of Calamity, and still gets repetitive, but the story drove me and left me with feels.
Probably my favorite Hyrule Warriors solely due to being engaged with the plot and these characters. Mechanically it's not far off Age of Calamity, and still gets repetitive, but the story drove me and left me with feels.
November 14, 2025 at 12:04 AM
65. Hyrule Warriors: Age of Imprisonment
Probably my favorite Hyrule Warriors solely due to being engaged with the plot and these characters. Mechanically it's not far off Age of Calamity, and still gets repetitive, but the story drove me and left me with feels.
Probably my favorite Hyrule Warriors solely due to being engaged with the plot and these characters. Mechanically it's not far off Age of Calamity, and still gets repetitive, but the story drove me and left me with feels.
close enough, welcome back Nintendo Wii
November 12, 2025 at 6:06 PM
close enough, welcome back Nintendo Wii
64. DUSK
Fucking excellent throwback game, feels like a late-90s FPS in the best way possible. Great atmosphere, gameplay, fun music, could be pretty creepy as well. Good game.
Fucking excellent throwback game, feels like a late-90s FPS in the best way possible. Great atmosphere, gameplay, fun music, could be pretty creepy as well. Good game.
November 8, 2025 at 7:09 AM
64. DUSK
Fucking excellent throwback game, feels like a late-90s FPS in the best way possible. Great atmosphere, gameplay, fun music, could be pretty creepy as well. Good game.
Fucking excellent throwback game, feels like a late-90s FPS in the best way possible. Great atmosphere, gameplay, fun music, could be pretty creepy as well. Good game.
The perfect trilogy doesn't exist—
November 6, 2025 at 11:59 PM
The perfect trilogy doesn't exist—
Well at least they're consistent.
November 4, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Well at least they're consistent.
Based on this shadow my soap dispenser has the fattest cock.
November 3, 2025 at 6:51 PM
Based on this shadow my soap dispenser has the fattest cock.
63. Belle Boomerang
It's a game with wonderful 8-bit visuals and some clever gimmicks, while also coming off cheap or obnoxious sometimes with its level design and enemy placement. The bosses are also aggravating endurance rounds. The boomerang needed more range. Overall, decent enough.
It's a game with wonderful 8-bit visuals and some clever gimmicks, while also coming off cheap or obnoxious sometimes with its level design and enemy placement. The bosses are also aggravating endurance rounds. The boomerang needed more range. Overall, decent enough.
November 2, 2025 at 5:46 AM
63. Belle Boomerang
It's a game with wonderful 8-bit visuals and some clever gimmicks, while also coming off cheap or obnoxious sometimes with its level design and enemy placement. The bosses are also aggravating endurance rounds. The boomerang needed more range. Overall, decent enough.
It's a game with wonderful 8-bit visuals and some clever gimmicks, while also coming off cheap or obnoxious sometimes with its level design and enemy placement. The bosses are also aggravating endurance rounds. The boomerang needed more range. Overall, decent enough.
62. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
Freddy and the kills are more fun and creative than they were in 4, which makes it mostly a more enjoyable watch. The concept would be more neat if it didn't increasingly come off like a pro-life message the whole time.
Freddy and the kills are more fun and creative than they were in 4, which makes it mostly a more enjoyable watch. The concept would be more neat if it didn't increasingly come off like a pro-life message the whole time.
October 30, 2025 at 5:51 AM
62. A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
Freddy and the kills are more fun and creative than they were in 4, which makes it mostly a more enjoyable watch. The concept would be more neat if it didn't increasingly come off like a pro-life message the whole time.
Freddy and the kills are more fun and creative than they were in 4, which makes it mostly a more enjoyable watch. The concept would be more neat if it didn't increasingly come off like a pro-life message the whole time.
61. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Well. The ending was kinda cool. But the plot sucks, the characters suck, the kills suck. Movie sucks.
Well. The ending was kinda cool. But the plot sucks, the characters suck, the kills suck. Movie sucks.
October 30, 2025 at 12:06 AM
61. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
Well. The ending was kinda cool. But the plot sucks, the characters suck, the kills suck. Movie sucks.
Well. The ending was kinda cool. But the plot sucks, the characters suck, the kills suck. Movie sucks.
Ayo why's the Switch 2 eShop say Mina the Hollower's coming in 2030 when they have a TBD category?
October 28, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Ayo why's the Switch 2 eShop say Mina the Hollower's coming in 2030 when they have a TBD category?
60. Scream VI
Good continuation of the previous film's story, although, while it's good that the new heroine's given a chance to stand on her own, it feels weird not having Sidney considering the emphasis on Ghostface history.
It's because the studio sucks, I know.
Good continuation of the previous film's story, although, while it's good that the new heroine's given a chance to stand on her own, it feels weird not having Sidney considering the emphasis on Ghostface history.
It's because the studio sucks, I know.
October 26, 2025 at 12:26 AM
60. Scream VI
Good continuation of the previous film's story, although, while it's good that the new heroine's given a chance to stand on her own, it feels weird not having Sidney considering the emphasis on Ghostface history.
It's because the studio sucks, I know.
Good continuation of the previous film's story, although, while it's good that the new heroine's given a chance to stand on her own, it feels weird not having Sidney considering the emphasis on Ghostface history.
It's because the studio sucks, I know.
59. Scream (2022)
Had my doubts without Wes Craven involvement, but they actually nailed it. The commentary and humor were on point, the kills brutal, and the gags well-executed.
Had my doubts without Wes Craven involvement, but they actually nailed it. The commentary and humor were on point, the kills brutal, and the gags well-executed.
October 25, 2025 at 9:26 PM
59. Scream (2022)
Had my doubts without Wes Craven involvement, but they actually nailed it. The commentary and humor were on point, the kills brutal, and the gags well-executed.
Had my doubts without Wes Craven involvement, but they actually nailed it. The commentary and humor were on point, the kills brutal, and the gags well-executed.
"Like, zoinks, Scoob, my mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!"
October 18, 2025 at 6:49 PM
"Like, zoinks, Scoob, my mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!"
I love that ice breaker still works in the GBA version.
October 18, 2025 at 6:02 PM
I love that ice breaker still works in the GBA version.
58. Peacemaker (S2)
Loved it, possibly more than the first season. Need to see what happens next like right now. Also Adrian needs to stop being an asshole to his mom Jesus Christ (inb4 she's secretly the worst person ever).
Loved it, possibly more than the first season. Need to see what happens next like right now. Also Adrian needs to stop being an asshole to his mom Jesus Christ (inb4 she's secretly the worst person ever).
October 10, 2025 at 6:14 AM
58. Peacemaker (S2)
Loved it, possibly more than the first season. Need to see what happens next like right now. Also Adrian needs to stop being an asshole to his mom Jesus Christ (inb4 she's secretly the worst person ever).
Loved it, possibly more than the first season. Need to see what happens next like right now. Also Adrian needs to stop being an asshole to his mom Jesus Christ (inb4 she's secretly the worst person ever).
57. Scream 4
Definitely the best of the Scream sequels so far. Admittedly wondering how much longer before this premise officially gets old, but this one at least executed it well. RIP Wes Craven.
Definitely the best of the Scream sequels so far. Admittedly wondering how much longer before this premise officially gets old, but this one at least executed it well. RIP Wes Craven.
October 10, 2025 at 1:30 AM
57. Scream 4
Definitely the best of the Scream sequels so far. Admittedly wondering how much longer before this premise officially gets old, but this one at least executed it well. RIP Wes Craven.
Definitely the best of the Scream sequels so far. Admittedly wondering how much longer before this premise officially gets old, but this one at least executed it well. RIP Wes Craven.
56. Scream 3
It's alright, but a few things stretched my willing suspension of disbelief just a bit. Wouldn't call it a bad movie.
It's alright, but a few things stretched my willing suspension of disbelief just a bit. Wouldn't call it a bad movie.
October 9, 2025 at 3:05 AM
56. Scream 3
It's alright, but a few things stretched my willing suspension of disbelief just a bit. Wouldn't call it a bad movie.
It's alright, but a few things stretched my willing suspension of disbelief just a bit. Wouldn't call it a bad movie.
55. Scream 2
Had Less Than Jake in the credits so clearly the best one so far. Nah, I prefer the original still but this one continues the fun meta gags and is still an overall pretty good movie.
Had Less Than Jake in the credits so clearly the best one so far. Nah, I prefer the original still but this one continues the fun meta gags and is still an overall pretty good movie.
October 9, 2025 at 12:46 AM
55. Scream 2
Had Less Than Jake in the credits so clearly the best one so far. Nah, I prefer the original still but this one continues the fun meta gags and is still an overall pretty good movie.
Had Less Than Jake in the credits so clearly the best one so far. Nah, I prefer the original still but this one continues the fun meta gags and is still an overall pretty good movie.
ayo in response to that shitty fucking ICE ad that aired during AEW I just have one thing to say
October 2, 2025 at 12:36 AM
ayo in response to that shitty fucking ICE ad that aired during AEW I just have one thing to say
I have accidentally taken the most perfect picture of my cat
September 29, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I have accidentally taken the most perfect picture of my cat
54. Cloudpunk
Maybe not the most graceful game to navigate, and the voice acting is... inconsistent... but the writing is usually solid and fun, if not sometimes wordy, and I really dig the vibes, the story stringing me along for the ride. Gonna remember this one.
Maybe not the most graceful game to navigate, and the voice acting is... inconsistent... but the writing is usually solid and fun, if not sometimes wordy, and I really dig the vibes, the story stringing me along for the ride. Gonna remember this one.
September 26, 2025 at 3:17 AM
54. Cloudpunk
Maybe not the most graceful game to navigate, and the voice acting is... inconsistent... but the writing is usually solid and fun, if not sometimes wordy, and I really dig the vibes, the story stringing me along for the ride. Gonna remember this one.
Maybe not the most graceful game to navigate, and the voice acting is... inconsistent... but the writing is usually solid and fun, if not sometimes wordy, and I really dig the vibes, the story stringing me along for the ride. Gonna remember this one.
53. OmniBus
It's quirky and amusing when you're doing random silly challenges, and it's quite fun. When it demands more precision, as in a couple challenges and boss fights, it's one of the most frustrating games I've played in a while. Mixed bag, though mostly on the fun side.
It's quirky and amusing when you're doing random silly challenges, and it's quite fun. When it demands more precision, as in a couple challenges and boss fights, it's one of the most frustrating games I've played in a while. Mixed bag, though mostly on the fun side.
September 25, 2025 at 10:48 PM
53. OmniBus
It's quirky and amusing when you're doing random silly challenges, and it's quite fun. When it demands more precision, as in a couple challenges and boss fights, it's one of the most frustrating games I've played in a while. Mixed bag, though mostly on the fun side.
It's quirky and amusing when you're doing random silly challenges, and it's quite fun. When it demands more precision, as in a couple challenges and boss fights, it's one of the most frustrating games I've played in a while. Mixed bag, though mostly on the fun side.
52. Mighty Gunvolt Burst
There's a couple platforming segments that were obnoxious and an annoying boss or two, but this was pretty fun. Made for replayability with its weapon mod mechanics, though I didn't fully sweep for all the parts.
There's a couple platforming segments that were obnoxious and an annoying boss or two, but this was pretty fun. Made for replayability with its weapon mod mechanics, though I didn't fully sweep for all the parts.
September 21, 2025 at 4:43 AM
52. Mighty Gunvolt Burst
There's a couple platforming segments that were obnoxious and an annoying boss or two, but this was pretty fun. Made for replayability with its weapon mod mechanics, though I didn't fully sweep for all the parts.
There's a couple platforming segments that were obnoxious and an annoying boss or two, but this was pretty fun. Made for replayability with its weapon mod mechanics, though I didn't fully sweep for all the parts.
51. Superman (2025)
The first half almost feels like a different film's second half, and I wonder if it'd be a jarring movie for someone with limited knowledge of Superman, but honestly it was pretty fun. Quite some parallels in there, huh?
The first half almost feels like a different film's second half, and I wonder if it'd be a jarring movie for someone with limited knowledge of Superman, but honestly it was pretty fun. Quite some parallels in there, huh?
September 21, 2025 at 12:57 AM
51. Superman (2025)
The first half almost feels like a different film's second half, and I wonder if it'd be a jarring movie for someone with limited knowledge of Superman, but honestly it was pretty fun. Quite some parallels in there, huh?
The first half almost feels like a different film's second half, and I wonder if it'd be a jarring movie for someone with limited knowledge of Superman, but honestly it was pretty fun. Quite some parallels in there, huh?