Skeet Skeet Ulrich
@therealskeetulrich.bsky.social
The B actor and movie connoisseur🎥🎶Go to raves with Matthew Chill’ard💯Don Cheadle's best friend🌈 Pacifister👊🤟
Pinned
I starred in Scream.
Bought an old beat up red 1958 Plymouth Fury from some weird redneck. Thought I got a deal but all it does is kill my bullies and choke my girlfriend out.
Insurance has been a nightmare. Anytime I try to make a damage claim, the car puts itself together again before I can get photos. Total lemon.
Insurance has been a nightmare. Anytime I try to make a damage claim, the car puts itself together again before I can get photos. Total lemon.
October 28, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Bought an old beat up red 1958 Plymouth Fury from some weird redneck. Thought I got a deal but all it does is kill my bullies and choke my girlfriend out.
Insurance has been a nightmare. Anytime I try to make a damage claim, the car puts itself together again before I can get photos. Total lemon.
Insurance has been a nightmare. Anytime I try to make a damage claim, the car puts itself together again before I can get photos. Total lemon.
This is what I look like.
October 18, 2025 at 4:29 AM
This is what I look like.
Sometimes I wipe, sometimes I don’t.
May 31, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Sometimes I wipe, sometimes I don’t.
Tearing pieces of paper like the dude in Langoliers while I watch The Langoliers.
May 24, 2025 at 4:23 AM
Tearing pieces of paper like the dude in Langoliers while I watch The Langoliers.
I don’t know why my roommate is so upset, he told me I could get a pet. Yeah, it’s a rhino but who cares? We’ve got rent control here.
April 17, 2025 at 5:14 AM
I don’t know why my roommate is so upset, he told me I could get a pet. Yeah, it’s a rhino but who cares? We’ve got rent control here.
Pants are starchy cause I’ve been stroggin’off.
April 15, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Pants are starchy cause I’ve been stroggin’off.
Thinking about Princess Diana’s hot naked corpse.
April 12, 2025 at 7:16 AM
Thinking about Princess Diana’s hot naked corpse.
Reposted by Skeet Skeet Ulrich
TOMORROW April 5, we’re uniting to say HANDS OFF! Join citizens across the country to fight back against Trump’s unprecedented incompetence & blatant criminality.
DO IT FOR THE PENGUINS!
Go to app.sosha.ai/s/mkKNZwsa
DO IT FOR THE PENGUINS!
Go to app.sosha.ai/s/mkKNZwsa
Join me on April 5th
app.sosha.ai
April 4, 2025 at 8:36 PM
TOMORROW April 5, we’re uniting to say HANDS OFF! Join citizens across the country to fight back against Trump’s unprecedented incompetence & blatant criminality.
DO IT FOR THE PENGUINS!
Go to app.sosha.ai/s/mkKNZwsa
DO IT FOR THE PENGUINS!
Go to app.sosha.ai/s/mkKNZwsa
Suspiria but its Muppets. This formula works for everything but the sensory overload for this film would be a religious experience for many.
February 27, 2025 at 5:48 AM
Suspiria but its Muppets. This formula works for everything but the sensory overload for this film would be a religious experience for many.
Elon Musk is just Bane without the venom.
February 13, 2025 at 7:49 AM
Elon Musk is just Bane without the venom.
Me and the boys watching a movie after a Disco Biscuits show.
February 12, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Me and the boys watching a movie after a Disco Biscuits show.
Working on a client named Malakai and trying my hardest not to repeatedly scream “Outlander!” at everyone in my office.
February 5, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Working on a client named Malakai and trying my hardest not to repeatedly scream “Outlander!” at everyone in my office.
Reposted by Skeet Skeet Ulrich
Gonna tell the kids this was Elon Musk.
February 2, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Gonna tell the kids this was Elon Musk.
Reposted by Skeet Skeet Ulrich
guidance counselor: so what do you want to do with your life
me: i guess post online and stuff
guidance counselor: (putting on glasses and taking out notepad) do you know how to make money doing that
me: i guess post online and stuff
guidance counselor: (putting on glasses and taking out notepad) do you know how to make money doing that
February 1, 2025 at 9:07 PM
guidance counselor: so what do you want to do with your life
me: i guess post online and stuff
guidance counselor: (putting on glasses and taking out notepad) do you know how to make money doing that
me: i guess post online and stuff
guidance counselor: (putting on glasses and taking out notepad) do you know how to make money doing that
I’ve gone through all the variations of sobriety and whatever makes you feel comfortable and all that, but….i will never give up the weed.
Weed 👏is 👏 tyte playa🤌. It’s that danky wanky. Duh skunky wunky. The ol “Don’t tell Mom! But who cares?!”. Don’t ever forget it. Mother nature’s best.
Weed 👏is 👏 tyte playa🤌. It’s that danky wanky. Duh skunky wunky. The ol “Don’t tell Mom! But who cares?!”. Don’t ever forget it. Mother nature’s best.
February 1, 2025 at 9:38 AM
I’ve gone through all the variations of sobriety and whatever makes you feel comfortable and all that, but….i will never give up the weed.
Weed 👏is 👏 tyte playa🤌. It’s that danky wanky. Duh skunky wunky. The ol “Don’t tell Mom! But who cares?!”. Don’t ever forget it. Mother nature’s best.
Weed 👏is 👏 tyte playa🤌. It’s that danky wanky. Duh skunky wunky. The ol “Don’t tell Mom! But who cares?!”. Don’t ever forget it. Mother nature’s best.
Alexa, play Man of Constant Sorrow by the Soggy Bottom Boys for the next 4 years.
January 31, 2025 at 10:57 PM
Alexa, play Man of Constant Sorrow by the Soggy Bottom Boys for the next 4 years.
If his knees are weak and his arms are heavy, he should sit down and unload whatever he’s carrying before he vomits up mom’s spaghetti.
January 31, 2025 at 9:14 PM
If his knees are weak and his arms are heavy, he should sit down and unload whatever he’s carrying before he vomits up mom’s spaghetti.
Reposted by Skeet Skeet Ulrich
My ashes will be dispersed to the homies so they can mix them with cocaine and ketamine, and ceremoniously snort a gator tail off my grave. Then they will go home, watch Footloose in my honor, and never speak of me again.
Where do you want your ashes spread?
January 31, 2025 at 1:47 AM
My ashes will be dispersed to the homies so they can mix them with cocaine and ketamine, and ceremoniously snort a gator tail off my grave. Then they will go home, watch Footloose in my honor, and never speak of me again.
Reposted by Skeet Skeet Ulrich
asserting dominance in prison by introducing myself as mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell
January 31, 2025 at 12:59 AM
asserting dominance in prison by introducing myself as mitochondria, the powerhouse of the cell
They’re bringing Stu and Roman back for Scream 7 but not me? 😱The disrespect.
January 31, 2025 at 1:08 AM
They’re bringing Stu and Roman back for Scream 7 but not me? 😱The disrespect.
Reposted by Skeet Skeet Ulrich
my baby takes the morning train
January 30, 2025 at 12:29 PM
my baby takes the morning train
There is a high probability I watch this film over 100 times before I leave this mortal plane.
January 29, 2025 at 3:27 AM
There is a high probability I watch this film over 100 times before I leave this mortal plane.