The Real Melissa
@therealmelissa.bsky.social
jaded gen x-er, mom, hip-hop connoisseur 🎧 PNW 🌦️eyebrows are not my own ♾️
just take a look at this sexy motherfucker
November 8, 2025 at 4:07 AM
just take a look at this sexy motherfucker
I just text this to my dad and told him he can take away my cassette, he can take away my CD, but he can NEVER TAKE THIS ALBUM AWAY FROM ME 😂
October 30, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I just text this to my dad and told him he can take away my cassette, he can take away my CD, but he can NEVER TAKE THIS ALBUM AWAY FROM ME 😂
YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME
(shoutout to all the other Melissas having to endure really stupid text messages right now)
(shoutout to all the other Melissas having to endure really stupid text messages right now)
October 28, 2025 at 11:46 PM
YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME
(shoutout to all the other Melissas having to endure really stupid text messages right now)
(shoutout to all the other Melissas having to endure really stupid text messages right now)
wtf is this 😂🎻
![Incoming text: Please reply back HALT if you wish to never hear from me again.
Outgoing text: HALT
Incoming text: I’m so sorry my text bothered you 😞. You will not receive any future messages from me, [name redacted], a real person and Pampered Chef consultant of 22 years, including specials, tips, recipe club, birthday discount, order follow up or party prizes. If you have any questions regarding your past pampered chef purchases, pls call 888-our-chef. Reply START to resubscribe.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:leaeh2xm23dx4zcmgousqkf5/bafkreigvl4rek5awpbwbd53pdqg7ychoobdijvzmgc5vl4thpctdijq3ga@jpeg)
October 23, 2025 at 1:30 AM
wtf is this 😂🎻
this is the saddest email ever
October 3, 2025 at 5:11 AM
this is the saddest email ever
*open a package from my bestie and get all teary-eyed from a twinge of homesickness*
17YO walks in the room:
“Is that a butt thing?”
17YO walks in the room:
“Is that a butt thing?”
September 28, 2025 at 7:02 PM
*open a package from my bestie and get all teary-eyed from a twinge of homesickness*
17YO walks in the room:
“Is that a butt thing?”
17YO walks in the room:
“Is that a butt thing?”
holy shit the high school sent out an email so people won’t mistake school construction noise for gunfire and call 911
September 14, 2025 at 11:58 PM
holy shit the high school sent out an email so people won’t mistake school construction noise for gunfire and call 911
Post your dream ride
1965 Chevelle SS Z-16
Last I looked into it, there were only 78 remaining of the original 201
1965 Chevelle SS Z-16
Last I looked into it, there were only 78 remaining of the original 201
August 23, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Post your dream ride
1965 Chevelle SS Z-16
Last I looked into it, there were only 78 remaining of the original 201
1965 Chevelle SS Z-16
Last I looked into it, there were only 78 remaining of the original 201
welcome to America, where using your insurance to purchase meds to support MCAS costs 2.5x the price of not using your insurance
make it make sense
make it make sense
August 19, 2025 at 9:41 PM
welcome to America, where using your insurance to purchase meds to support MCAS costs 2.5x the price of not using your insurance
make it make sense
make it make sense
y’all I’m still coming off this Alchemist and Erykah Badu high and now I have tickets for Joey Bada$$, Rapsody, and Ab Soul 🤯❤️🎧❤️
August 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
y’all I’m still coming off this Alchemist and Erykah Badu high and now I have tickets for Joey Bada$$, Rapsody, and Ab Soul 🤯❤️🎧❤️
apparently stoned me failed at eyeballs last night
August 18, 2025 at 7:42 PM
apparently stoned me failed at eyeballs last night
still thinking about this whole experience and how good it felt to go to a no-phone concert
August 15, 2025 at 7:00 AM
still thinking about this whole experience and how good it felt to go to a no-phone concert
One thing I love most about music is the stories that come from it.
As far as I can tell, this record came from a small record store called Butch Wax in San Francisco. It was on the corner of 18th and Castro. I wonder where it’s been, and what stories it could tell.
As far as I can tell, this record came from a small record store called Butch Wax in San Francisco. It was on the corner of 18th and Castro. I wonder where it’s been, and what stories it could tell.
August 3, 2025 at 7:54 PM
One thing I love most about music is the stories that come from it.
As far as I can tell, this record came from a small record store called Butch Wax in San Francisco. It was on the corner of 18th and Castro. I wonder where it’s been, and what stories it could tell.
As far as I can tell, this record came from a small record store called Butch Wax in San Francisco. It was on the corner of 18th and Castro. I wonder where it’s been, and what stories it could tell.
this album is an essential for me when I’m overthinking, and I completely forgot I bought the record 🥰
August 1, 2025 at 12:48 AM
this album is an essential for me when I’m overthinking, and I completely forgot I bought the record 🥰
it smells as lively as you would imagine
July 27, 2025 at 11:25 PM
it smells as lively as you would imagine
what happens if I touch it
July 25, 2025 at 6:14 PM
what happens if I touch it
still my all-time favorite diss track
July 23, 2025 at 6:45 PM
still my all-time favorite diss track
please enjoy this 15 second video of a crow divebombing a completely unbothered bald eagle
July 6, 2025 at 9:28 PM
please enjoy this 15 second video of a crow divebombing a completely unbothered bald eagle
I hope y’all never get tired of these pictures because it’s my favorite place to take them 🌲🌊🌳 ☀️ (banger day!)
June 30, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I hope y’all never get tired of these pictures because it’s my favorite place to take them 🌲🌊🌳 ☀️ (banger day!)
everything might suck, but this definitely does NOT
June 27, 2025 at 6:06 PM
everything might suck, but this definitely does NOT
What’s a poster you had in your room growing up?
I bought it at Musicland with my birthday money.
I bought it at Musicland with my birthday money.
June 23, 2025 at 4:20 AM
What’s a poster you had in your room growing up?
I bought it at Musicland with my birthday money.
I bought it at Musicland with my birthday money.
reminder that these songs exist, and they sound great on a bumpboxx
June 13, 2025 at 1:37 AM
reminder that these songs exist, and they sound great on a bumpboxx
this song entered my earbuds right as I stepped into the gym so I’m assuming my soulmate is somewhere in here
May 30, 2025 at 2:47 AM
this song entered my earbuds right as I stepped into the gym so I’m assuming my soulmate is somewhere in here
I just need everyone to know that this is the room my 17YO was put in at his neurology appointment today
April 8, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I just need everyone to know that this is the room my 17YO was put in at his neurology appointment today