"The many incarnations of Mick Foley" could be an amazing idea for a list. We'd also have to throw in other rasslers who have gone under multiple gimmicks. Definitely one to consider for later.

And I'm totally down for having guest writers. I'll post more about that in a few days.

Also curious to know that @gailsimone.bsky.social thinks. Did I get everyone right?

Emoji meanings:

✔ Ordered and finished the Old '96er in one sitting
❌ Attempted the Old '96er, but quit / could not finish
🛑 Did not attempt at all
🚫 Disqualified for cheating / breaking rules

🛑 Professor X - Despite Logan saying "live a little, Chuck," Charles is too obsessed with decorum to attempt such a feat. He's happy with a sirloin and some veggies. This does not, however, put Charles above being in the "peanut gallery" for those who are trying.

🧵 (15/15)

❌ Nightcrawler - Kurt's going to give this the old college try. Being nimble burns a lot of calories, as does teleporting. But he's just not getting to the end of this thing. Despite this, he'll still seem pleased with himself for going the distance.

🧵 (14/15)

🛑 Magneto - Did you know that many versions of Magneto are vegetarian, if not vegan? No, serously, look it up. Erik probably won't even set foot in a steakhouse. And with all those sharp knives and other kitchen implements, maybe that's a good thing.

🧵 (13/15)

✔ Cable - He's similar to Bishop in a lot of ways, but he's not about to turn down a free meal - especially one as big as this. He'll eat that whole steak dutifully. And when he says he doesn't care about the shirt, he means it.

🧵 (12/15)

🛑 Storm - Storm's whole thing is restraint. If she lets go, there's a hurricane in your living room. So she's not about to be tempted into some meat-eating contest. She'll sit with Jean and provide commentary on the others.

🧵 (11/15)

✔ Wolverine - Is there even a debate? A feral personality, plus a healing factor, equals a foregone conclusion. He'll order it as rare as they're allowed to serve it. He'll claim he doesn't care about the shirt, then show up wearing it at the next Danger Room session.

🧵 (10/15)

✔ Gambit - Remy will absolutely hate himself in the morning. He'll be a combination of meat sweats and hangover sweats. But he's just reckless enough to finish the steak, sides and all. He'll turn the T-shirt into a sleeveless crop-top, because he understands fashion.

🧵 (9/15)

🛑 Jubilee - While she's happy the older X-Men brought her to Paul Bunyan's Cupboard, she's smarter than to try The Old '96er. Plus she just started dating that Sunspot guy. She might even be briefly tempted to try it, but one of the grown-ups will talk her out of it.

🧵 (8/15)

🛑 Bishop - Technically he can. He absorbs energy. And what's more energetic than 7500 kilocalories of beef? But he's too rigid. He feels like he has to be "on" all the time. And no amount of goading is going to make Bishop order that steak. He'll totally murder a T-bone, though.

🧵 (7/15)

✔ Beast - It's not whether he could. It's whether he would. I'm sure Hank would pretend to be looking at the salads or a New York strip. But a bit of cajoling from Logan later, Beast is the proud owner of a new "I Ate the '96er" T-shirt.

🧵 (6/15)

✔ Rogue - She's from beef country. Mississippi has over 800,000 cattle, in nearly 16,000 farms. She's super-powered. She's nigh-invulnerable. Rogue is winning that shirt, easily. Then she's getting dessert. "Need a little help finishing your steak, Scott?"

🧵 (5/15)

❌ Cyclops - He's athletic. He's disciplined. He keeps himself sharp, mentally and physically. And that's exactly why he's going to go home without that T-shirt. He's used to balanced, nutritious meals. The Old '96er will defeat him.

🧵 (4/15)

🛑 Jean Grey - Jean doesn't have to be psychic or telekinetic to know she's not throwing back six pounds of steak. She'll probably enjoy a decent sirloin or a surf-and-turf combo, while (spoiler warning) watching Scott make a fool of himself.

🧵 (3/15)

✔ Morph - A flexibile physiology means Morph can turn into anyone they'd like - Joey Chestnut, for instance. Or maybe even they'll take on the form of John Candy himself. Either way, Morph wins. And they can technically fit into any size T-shirt they want.

🧵 (2/15)

I hadn't factored that into my research. In that case, I think he'd attempt, but he'd tap out eventually. His VISOR (Visual Instrument and Sensory Input Replacement) is bigger than his stomach.

Potassium 8595.2mg -183% DV
Total Carbohydrates 0g - 0%
Dietary Fiber 0g 0% DV
Sugars 0g
Caffeine 0mg