""The" "New" "York" "Times""
@thenewglorchtimes.bsky.social
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This account was created by @wamimidesu.bsky.social. Please do not mistake this account for the real @nytimes.com.
""Bringing" "you" "quality" "news" "from" "New" "York" "City" ".""
This account was created by @wamimidesu.bsky.social. Please do not mistake this account for the real @nytimes.com.
""Bringing" "you" "quality" "news" "from" "New" "York" "City" ".""
Pinned
welcome to this esoteric shithole
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Presidential candidate Orb of Pure Hatred affirms: "I HAVE WITNESSED THE DEATH AND REBIRTH OF YOUR STAR. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IS IMMINENT FOR ALL IS INEVITABLE. SOON THE CHOSEN ONE WILL RISE UP TO ANNIHILATE ALL THE NON-BELIEVERS. THE WORD OF GLOAM WILL PREVAIL. OBEY THE GLOAM. ALL HAIL THE GLOAM."
January 12, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Presidential candidate Orb of Pure Hatred affirms: "I HAVE WITNESSED THE DEATH AND REBIRTH OF YOUR STAR. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IS IMMINENT FOR ALL IS INEVITABLE. SOON THE CHOSEN ONE WILL RISE UP TO ANNIHILATE ALL THE NON-BELIEVERS. THE WORD OF GLOAM WILL PREVAIL. OBEY THE GLOAM. ALL HAIL THE GLOAM."
@thomyorkeparody.bsky.social just released a new single, which features him having a panic attack inside his bathtub, with @eduardofrankenstei.bsky.social singing hit Weezer song, "Pissing In The Wind" in the background
January 12, 2026 at 5:47 PM
@thomyorkeparody.bsky.social just released a new single, which features him having a panic attack inside his bathtub, with @eduardofrankenstei.bsky.social singing hit Weezer song, "Pissing In The Wind" in the background
.yadot maxe egelloc sih no dessap sah mahgnimriB ni nam tseippah ehT :SWEN DAS😓
January 12, 2026 at 5:43 PM
.yadot maxe egelloc sih no dessap sah mahgnimriB ni nam tseippah ehT :SWEN DAS😓
Onion Mitt® is still down.
January 12, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Onion Mitt® is still down.
TOUCHING: Mysterious candidate rising in polls, vexing the establishment
January 12, 2026 at 5:34 PM
TOUCHING: Mysterious candidate rising in polls, vexing the establishment
POLL: Who will you vote for in the next e,ection?
1. Incumbent Colhões Madeiraverde
2. Blorgon3000 Johnson
3. The Glowing Orb of Pure Hatred
1. Incumbent Colhões Madeiraverde
2. Blorgon3000 Johnson
3. The Glowing Orb of Pure Hatred
January 12, 2026 at 5:29 PM
POLL: Who will you vote for in the next e,ection?
1. Incumbent Colhões Madeiraverde
2. Blorgon3000 Johnson
3. The Glowing Orb of Pure Hatred
1. Incumbent Colhões Madeiraverde
2. Blorgon3000 Johnson
3. The Glowing Orb of Pure Hatred
Reposted by ""The" "New" "York" "Times""
Why.
January 10, 2026 at 9:47 PM
Why.
Recent studies conducted in Vinewood Hills of Los Santos has revealed that Skye will eventually show to defend her home.
January 11, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Recent studies conducted in Vinewood Hills of Los Santos has revealed that Skye will eventually show to defend her home.
Freedom motif found in a Beatles song.
January 11, 2026 at 9:12 PM
Freedom motif found in a Beatles song.
President Senator (barber) found alive along with his dog Payson
January 9, 2026 at 2:26 AM
President Senator (barber) found alive along with his dog Payson
Dinosaur found dead
January 9, 2026 at 2:09 AM
Dinosaur found dead
BREAKING: Creator of the ''Z word" revealed.
I INVENTED THE Z WORD
January 8, 2026 at 6:52 PM
BREAKING: Creator of the ''Z word" revealed.
Tonight at 6, the 'Z word': what is it, and can I say it?
January 8, 2026 at 4:51 PM
Tonight at 6, the 'Z word': what is it, and can I say it?
Blorgon3000 Johnson promises to bring "food" to the "less fortunate" "citizens"
January 8, 2026 at 4:46 PM
Blorgon3000 Johnson promises to bring "food" to the "less fortunate" "citizens"
Reposted by ""The" "New" "York" "Times""
So inspirational.
January 7, 2026 at 2:12 PM
So inspirational.
Microsoft announces their competitor to Google Balls. Who will reign supreme in the battle for geometry?
I AM BING PYRAMIDS. ABOVE ALL AND BING PYRAMIDS IS THE BEST
January 7, 2026 at 7:51 PM
Microsoft announces their competitor to Google Balls. Who will reign supreme in the battle for geometry?
Google Balls has been corrupted.
🟣 🟢
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January 7, 2026 at 7:42 PM
Google Balls has been corrupted.
New president Madeiraverde confirms that he is, in fact, legion.
I AM LEGION
Our glorious leader has died, Colhões Madeiraverde will take charge of office soon enough.
January 7, 2026 at 7:34 PM
New president Madeiraverde confirms that he is, in fact, legion.
Our glorious leader has died, Colhões Madeiraverde will take charge of office soon enough.
It is with inmeasurable grief that we announce that Jonny has died of Ligma at 7 January 2025 6:01 EST. The release of the Emerson files have as such been delayed and are expected to be released in the next few weeks.
January 7, 2026 at 11:41 AM
Our glorious leader has died, Colhões Madeiraverde will take charge of office soon enough.
Blorgon3000 Johnson allegedly missed an important government meeting because of a locust swarm inside his house that he fought off using his bare hands
January 6, 2026 at 11:58 PM
Blorgon3000 Johnson allegedly missed an important government meeting because of a locust swarm inside his house that he fought off using his bare hands
Reposted by ""The" "New" "York" "Times""
SCIENCE: New elements discovered in Central Park (no, not that one)
January 6, 2026 at 2:19 AM
SCIENCE: New elements discovered in Central Park (no, not that one)
Reposted by ""The" "New" "York" "Times""
They just found it in the water.
January 6, 2026 at 2:25 AM
They just found it in the water.
The appartments of Central park just lowered their rent from $2000 to -$1, "this is pandering to the cyclists" says the ones skeptical about the government and its great actions.
January 6, 2026 at 11:45 PM
The appartments of Central park just lowered their rent from $2000 to -$1, "this is pandering to the cyclists" says the ones skeptical about the government and its great actions.
The game devs over at ""The" "New" "York" "Times"" are working on Wordle 2, now with multi-track drifting and time travelling.
January 6, 2026 at 11:33 PM
The game devs over at ""The" "New" "York" "Times"" are working on Wordle 2, now with multi-track drifting and time travelling.
UNBELIEVABLE: Somewhere in Venezuela, someone said a word
January 6, 2026 at 11:29 PM
UNBELIEVABLE: Somewhere in Venezuela, someone said a word