My cat just woke me up at 1 AM by dropping her favorite hair tie on my face indicating that she wants to play fetch. #catsindogfields

This is not serious but Oreo shorted me an Oreo. I would have only discovered this because I am making Oreo balls and was following a recipe.
Just thought I’d let everyone know 🫡

Worst part about having a December birthday is that Sephora is ALWAYS out of their birthday gifts :(

My writing process is usually:

a) I got this
b) well, fuck
c) wait that part was real good
d) wait no that part sucks
e) I am a god of this place
f) the fuck is this shit, who do I think I am, why am I here
g) oh man I just figured it all out
h) mistakes were made
I) existential dread

Two stages of writing:

1) This shouldn't take too long
2) Oh no

Have you ever discovered a new recipe that you know is so good and fast that you’ll be making it for the rest of your life? My future children will thank me later.

I. JUST. WANT. THE. RECIPE. I. DON'T. WANT. FOUR. PAGES. OF. STORY. ABOUT. HOW. THIS. WAS. YOUR. AUNT. LINDA'S. FAVORITE. DISH. ON. WINTER. ESCAPES. TO. THE. MOUNTAINS.

I’d like to introduce everyone to my oldest cat (child) Gogi (as in Bulgogi). Model, smartass, cuddle bug, tolerant of my shenanigans.

Gogi and Aloo really said “rise and shine!”.. “but not for me.”

Been thinking a lot lately about that episode of Parks and Rec where Leslie and Tom have to rebrand fluoride in the water as TDazzle in order to get the public to support it.

The art and the artist. P.S. do we still use hashtags? #cats #destruction #art