The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard
@themeadhallbard.bsky.social
*DMs Disabled*
#Wülferhamptonian
#JamFirst
Profanagiest
Frustrating Bastard
Ex Vampier
Belligerent malcontent
Tuberdoor
Singest
Rhymist
Storyteller
Lute twanglist
Ye Mercia Beat decomposer
Wilfully obtuse
Murdered at the behest of WülfHelm
#Wülferhamptonian
#JamFirst
Profanagiest
Frustrating Bastard
Ex Vampier
Belligerent malcontent
Tuberdoor
Singest
Rhymist
Storyteller
Lute twanglist
Ye Mercia Beat decomposer
Wilfully obtuse
Murdered at the behest of WülfHelm
Pinned
For Wülferhampton newbies (and those that got so wrecked in the Mead Hall that they can’t remember what happened)
The History of the Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard.
The History of the Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard.
I have been invited to a Tea Party for pensioners.
It’s a nice gesture. I’m glad that there are kind souls in the world that organise such things.
But. No.
I now have to RSVP in a manner that does not offend.
Perhaps @wulfhelm.bsky.social can advise?¹
¹ Probably not my best idea TBH.
It’s a nice gesture. I’m glad that there are kind souls in the world that organise such things.
But. No.
I now have to RSVP in a manner that does not offend.
Perhaps @wulfhelm.bsky.social can advise?¹
¹ Probably not my best idea TBH.
November 21, 2025 at 5:17 PM
I have been invited to a Tea Party for pensioners.
It’s a nice gesture. I’m glad that there are kind souls in the world that organise such things.
But. No.
I now have to RSVP in a manner that does not offend.
Perhaps @wulfhelm.bsky.social can advise?¹
¹ Probably not my best idea TBH.
It’s a nice gesture. I’m glad that there are kind souls in the world that organise such things.
But. No.
I now have to RSVP in a manner that does not offend.
Perhaps @wulfhelm.bsky.social can advise?¹
¹ Probably not my best idea TBH.
*sigh*
November 21, 2025 at 1:34 PM
*sigh*
The #Wülferhampton Mead Hall will be serving Cook’s signature¹ Rat Wellington² at Yuletide. 9p a portion (ketchup 3p) including half a roasted potato and all you can eat³ sprouts. Bargain.
¹ As in death warrant.
² Rat gruel in an old boot.
³ Before vomiting.
¹ As in death warrant.
² Rat gruel in an old boot.
³ Before vomiting.
People have more money than sense! M&S trying to make money back from the cyber attack!
news.sky.com/story/money-...
news.sky.com/story/money-...
Backlash over £195 'Tom Kerridge beef wellington' from M&S | Money blog
M&S has defended the price of a £195 beef wellington made by chef Tom Kerridge. Read this, plus our week of special content on consumer rights, through the day in the Money blog.
news.sky.com
November 18, 2025 at 7:39 PM
The #Wülferhampton Mead Hall will be serving Cook’s signature¹ Rat Wellington² at Yuletide. 9p a portion (ketchup 3p) including half a roasted potato and all you can eat³ sprouts. Bargain.
¹ As in death warrant.
² Rat gruel in an old boot.
³ Before vomiting.
¹ As in death warrant.
² Rat gruel in an old boot.
³ Before vomiting.
I ran across this text on a web site today and it occurred to me that it is a deliberate attempt to confuse people with an average or below reading age rope them into recieving marketing mails and texts.
So I put it through a reading level checker out of curiosity.
So I put it through a reading level checker out of curiosity.
November 18, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I ran across this text on a web site today and it occurred to me that it is a deliberate attempt to confuse people with an average or below reading age rope them into recieving marketing mails and texts.
So I put it through a reading level checker out of curiosity.
So I put it through a reading level checker out of curiosity.
I’m a firm believer in the axiom:
“You get the behaviours that you reward.”
So politicians behave in a manner that wins the most votes and not in a manner that gets the best results.
This is why an electorate that rewards untenable promises with their vote is frequently disappointed.
“You get the behaviours that you reward.”
So politicians behave in a manner that wins the most votes and not in a manner that gets the best results.
This is why an electorate that rewards untenable promises with their vote is frequently disappointed.
November 18, 2025 at 12:16 AM
I’m a firm believer in the axiom:
“You get the behaviours that you reward.”
So politicians behave in a manner that wins the most votes and not in a manner that gets the best results.
This is why an electorate that rewards untenable promises with their vote is frequently disappointed.
“You get the behaviours that you reward.”
So politicians behave in a manner that wins the most votes and not in a manner that gets the best results.
This is why an electorate that rewards untenable promises with their vote is frequently disappointed.
Answer: It was in my inbox.
November 17, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Answer: It was in my inbox.
Reposted by The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard
🔐 Account Security Thread 🔐
We're seeing an increased number of phishing and social engineering attempts targeting Bluesky users. While we're working hard to protect you, here are essential steps YOU can take to secure your account and stay safe. 1/10
🧵👇
We're seeing an increased number of phishing and social engineering attempts targeting Bluesky users. While we're working hard to protect you, here are essential steps YOU can take to secure your account and stay safe. 1/10
🧵👇
November 14, 2025 at 8:00 PM
🔐 Account Security Thread 🔐
We're seeing an increased number of phishing and social engineering attempts targeting Bluesky users. While we're working hard to protect you, here are essential steps YOU can take to secure your account and stay safe. 1/10
🧵👇
We're seeing an increased number of phishing and social engineering attempts targeting Bluesky users. While we're working hard to protect you, here are essential steps YOU can take to secure your account and stay safe. 1/10
🧵👇
Reposted by The Phantom of the Mead Hall Bard
It appears to me that creating a contentious wedge issue to polarise and divide public opinion, is that it will never be resolved. However many people flock to a cause, the most entrenched opposition will always continue fight. In some cases for generations after the cause is rendered irrelevant.
November 16, 2025 at 7:18 PM
It appears to me that creating a contentious wedge issue to polarise and divide public opinion, is that it will never be resolved. However many people flock to a cause, the most entrenched opposition will always continue fight. In some cases for generations after the cause is rendered irrelevant.
Y’know. Given that so much unwelcome shit occurs unbidden in this world, why do some people thrive on elevating their own standing by making life appallingly distressing for others?
I’m uncomfortably close making three score years and ten trips around the sun and I still don’t fucking get it.
I’m uncomfortably close making three score years and ten trips around the sun and I still don’t fucking get it.
November 16, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Y’know. Given that so much unwelcome shit occurs unbidden in this world, why do some people thrive on elevating their own standing by making life appallingly distressing for others?
I’m uncomfortably close making three score years and ten trips around the sun and I still don’t fucking get it.
I’m uncomfortably close making three score years and ten trips around the sun and I still don’t fucking get it.
Two soups…
November 15, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Two soups…
There is a phrase sometimes used in business and politics: “Never dilute a good argument.”
The BBC are about to learn why.
Fools.
The BBC are about to learn why.
Fools.
November 15, 2025 at 2:57 PM
There is a phrase sometimes used in business and politics: “Never dilute a good argument.”
The BBC are about to learn why.
Fools.
The BBC are about to learn why.
Fools.
Didn’t number 4 fall into the same category as number 3.
a man in a blue shirt says " ooo ouch "
ALT: a man in a blue shirt says " ooo ouch "
media.tenor.com
November 14, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Didn’t number 4 fall into the same category as number 3.
Weather Forecast for Derbyshire:
Ay up, serry. Bit damp.
Ay up, serry. Bit damp.
November 14, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Weather Forecast for Derbyshire:
Ay up, serry. Bit damp.
Ay up, serry. Bit damp.
How is it possible to be dog tired and not be able to sleep?
Answers on a postcard….
Answers on a postcard….
November 14, 2025 at 4:14 AM
How is it possible to be dog tired and not be able to sleep?
Answers on a postcard….
Answers on a postcard….
Oi @wulfhelm.bsky.social. Your clients want to know how this got into their offices?
a crab with a large claws is in a room with a glass wall
ALT: a crab with a large claws is in a room with a glass wall
media.tenor.com
November 13, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Oi @wulfhelm.bsky.social. Your clients want to know how this got into their offices?
Self-Inflicted Wounds by Joe Bonamassa on Apple Music
Song · 2018 · Duration 6:35
music.apple.com
November 13, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I have changed my bedsheets.
Me 👇
Me 👇
Actual footage of a mouse trying to fold a fitted bed sheet.
November 13, 2025 at 7:55 PM
I have changed my bedsheets.
Me 👇
Me 👇
November 12, 2025 at 10:43 PM
@wulfhelm.bsky.social Just saying.
For two years the people of Sweden sacrificed first bulls then men to end the famine that devastated the land. On the third year, they seized their King, Domalde, and sacrificed him to the gods. The next year was prosperous. #WyrdWednesday
🖼️: E. Werenskiold
🖼️: E. Werenskiold
November 12, 2025 at 9:54 PM
@wulfhelm.bsky.social Just saying.
On 22/01/2022, the Highway Code rule 66 was amended regarding cycling two abreast:
“Be considerate of the needs of other road users when riding in groups. You can ride two abreast and it can be safer to do so, particularly in larger groups or when accompanying children or less experienced riders…”
“Be considerate of the needs of other road users when riding in groups. You can ride two abreast and it can be safer to do so, particularly in larger groups or when accompanying children or less experienced riders…”
November 12, 2025 at 7:04 PM
On 22/01/2022, the Highway Code rule 66 was amended regarding cycling two abreast:
“Be considerate of the needs of other road users when riding in groups. You can ride two abreast and it can be safer to do so, particularly in larger groups or when accompanying children or less experienced riders…”
“Be considerate of the needs of other road users when riding in groups. You can ride two abreast and it can be safer to do so, particularly in larger groups or when accompanying children or less experienced riders…”
I don’t like this idea of Cook’s to produce Wagu kebabs. Feeding up the rats on treats and giving them daily massages before he ‘harvests’ them. It’s unnatural.
Expensive too. 4 pfennig for a kebab! What serf can afford that?
Expensive too. 4 pfennig for a kebab! What serf can afford that?
November 12, 2025 at 10:36 AM
I don’t like this idea of Cook’s to produce Wagu kebabs. Feeding up the rats on treats and giving them daily massages before he ‘harvests’ them. It’s unnatural.
Expensive too. 4 pfennig for a kebab! What serf can afford that?
Expensive too. 4 pfennig for a kebab! What serf can afford that?