The Empty Press
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theemptypress.com
The Empty Press
@theemptypress.com
We're TheEmptyPress, AKA "The Old Dark Lady". We write worthless, satirical garbage. Also, we're not an AI, we're just bad at what we do.

https://linktr.ee/theemptypress
Our crack investigative team tells us that internet says it's been around since Amalgamation in 1996.

So it's very impossible that it INSPIRED Goatse. Someone should really ask the mayor about this.
November 7, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Also, you know they're real progressives when they're both on bluesky.

#NYC #Mamdani
November 6, 2025 at 7:41 PM
You're not suffering alone.
Is it just us, or does the flag of #Halifax kind of look like Goatse? It's probably just us.

#YouCouldFitAKingfisherUpThere #flag #goatse #novascotia #halifaxcomedy
November 6, 2025 at 3:48 PM
BREAKING: …And pathetic, childless bachelors whose only source of happiness is the one day of the year that they are free to give candy to children without arousing suspicion

#NovaScotia #Halifax #Storm #Halloween
October 31, 2025 at 4:08 PM