TURKEY-POWERED FUCK MACHINE
LightNews LightNews
banner
thechunch.bsky.social
TURKEY-POWERED FUCK MACHINE
@thechunch.bsky.social
100 followers 150 following 1.3K posts
Posts Replies Media Videos
thechunch.bsky.social
Apparently ones that get you suspended from Reddit.
prime minister ardern was suspended
November 11, 2025 at 6:23 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast, And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed; And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill, And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!
November 9, 2025 at 5:24 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Aw, hey, PTSD Clarinet Kid, we thought you were dead
November 4, 2025 at 4:37 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
In some cases, it's easier to suss out one of the possible culprits.
The logo for Three Bean Salad, featuring Henry Paker (bald bean), Mike Wozniak (mustached bean) and Ben Partridge (bean with hair but no mustache). Ben Partridge has had an evil grin drawn onto his face, depicting that he is in his perfidious Bonjamin persona, and will be the one to betray the other two.
November 4, 2025 at 1:44 AM
thechunch.bsky.social
walter_white_yelling_in_car.jpg
October 27, 2025 at 10:24 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Submitted for the judges' consideration.
white guy in a suit. named 'dick pound.' dick pound is the chairman of the olympic broadcasting services. his name is dick pound.
October 27, 2025 at 2:30 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
neva 4ghetti
nightmare fuel page for a children's show called 'ready jet go'. the image that's supposed to be scary is a child lit by mildly red lights.
October 24, 2025 at 4:24 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Laugh all you want, but when was the last time you could guwht dade, jalvdonre, OR coidemt an enemy AC unit in a video game?
October 24, 2025 at 3:57 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
What is the least offensive, least morally repugnant tattoo that you could get that

A: you would want, and
B: in your opinion, would/should bar you from public office?

For me, it'd be this as a back tattoo
The opening text from Mandy. It reads as follows "When I die Bury me deep Lay two speakers at my feet Wrap some headphones Around my head And rock and roll me When I'm dead."
October 22, 2025 at 2:14 AM
thechunch.bsky.social
a bald child stares at a spilled glass of juice. the post reads "I SPIL MY JICE FEDS HELP HELP HELP HEP HELP HELP"
October 18, 2025 at 2:51 AM
thechunch.bsky.social
October 17, 2025 at 1:57 AM
thechunch.bsky.social
Tapping the sign.
@everyone Hello everyone! New rule has been added (cant believe I have to say this) please do not give birth in the vc. it makes people very uncomfortable. I don't want to have this added to the rules as it is very embarrassing for me as a server owner and the rest of the people trying to enjoy this server. This is your final warning.
October 8, 2025 at 5:37 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
holy shit Sam Pound from the Sex Offender Shuffle
right: Sam Pound from the Sex Offender Shuffle left: a Texas National Guardsman who looks a lot like Sam Pound from the Sex Offender Shuffle
October 7, 2025 at 10:06 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Even Google's autocorrect knows better.
google result. query says "they are coming for the 40k orcs next," where "orcs" is spelled with a c. The correction correctly says "orks" with a k.
October 7, 2025 at 2:10 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
screenshot of pete hegseth, shoulders slouched, walking away from the podium. the screenshot has been pasted in over an image of a defeated lion slinking away from the pride, with the caption "defeated male leaves"
September 30, 2025 at 5:28 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Future cinematographers who work on historical films about this era better thank the photographer for doing their job for them.
Collection of generals. In front, a general with close-cropped hair appears to be talking to another general who is looking at him with a mixture of concern and disbelief. In the back, two men are looking, stony faced, towards the camera. These two form a rectangle of sorts; in the middle of said rectangle is a general in glasses, staring directly at the camera.
September 30, 2025 at 4:09 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
You wouldn't even need to shove him. Just write "VODKA" and "WHISKEY" around an open locker with arrows pointing inside, like this Far Side comic.
far side comic. It's in a laundry room. "CAT FUD" with arrows pointing to an open drier are written on the wall, floor, and drier itself. The cat is about to enter. Behind the washing machine, in the corner, hides a dog standing on two legs. It thinks to itself, "Oh please, oh please..."
September 26, 2025 at 8:41 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Christ on a bike, the nation elected this guy.
"I spil my jice [editor's note: juice] mods help help hep help help"
September 24, 2025 at 10:42 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
I have a mockup for them.
A coin with Charlie Kirk's face (taken from the photo where he's smiling and you can basically only see his gums and the upper bits of his top teeth) grotesquely embossed onto the metal. Text next to it reads "I keep screaming but God won't answer"
September 24, 2025 at 9:31 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Everybody shut up and look at this Sandhill crane.
A sandhill crane.
September 13, 2025 at 9:46 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Folks
Wikipedia screenshot saying "Charles James Kirk (born October 14, 1993) was [2]"
September 10, 2025 at 8:49 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
that insult deflection meme. "you" is firing a gun called "headshaming" at "bigheaded twitter weirdo" who deflects it at "your giant-headed friends who have a hard enough time with hats and bike helmets" each one's head is larger than the last
September 4, 2025 at 2:37 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
September 2, 2025 at 12:58 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
Guy who looks like shaggy saying "I just shidded and farded and camed my pants".
September 2, 2025 at 12:26 PM
thechunch.bsky.social
Photopea works and is free
an amogus carrying a jug of the milk that apparently caused the idiot this news story was about to lose her fetus the caption reads "AMOGUS AMANGUS/I GOT CAMPYLOBACTER FRMO THIS THANGUS"
August 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM