thawedhead.bsky.social
@thawedhead.bsky.social
It happened: flipping through the radio dial, I heard that holiday classic "All I Want For Christmas (Are The Epstein Files Released)".
November 5, 2025 at 5:21 PM
On February 11, 2006, Dick Cheney shot Harry Whittington in the face with a 28-gauge Perazzi shotgun. Today, Whittington exacted his revenge.
November 4, 2025 at 1:29 PM
I wonder if anyone is planning a "No Kings! Yas Queens!" event featuring drag versions of Trump and his cronies. The slogan could be "Fashion Trumps Fascism".
October 18, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I recognize two of the Texas National Guard members who are occupying Chicago.
October 8, 2025 at 7:34 PM
I am also summoning all of our nation's military brass for an urgent meeting. I have plans for my neighborhood HOA and all their "rules".
September 26, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Early smoke emissions indicate a close race: Archbishop of São Salvador da Bahia was off to an early lead with his juggling and spinning plate act during the talent section. Soon thereafter the Apostolic Prefect of Ulaanbaatar surprised everyone with a strong showing in the swimsuit competition.
May 7, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Trump has announced that he will send prisoners to Celtris III until they confess that they see 5 lights.
May 6, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Trump has announced that he's reopening Shawshank and putting you in solitary confinement for calling him obtuse.
May 6, 2025 at 6:18 PM
After planning to reopen Alcatraz, Trump announces that the Mayberry town jail will be reopened to house America's drunks.
May 6, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Reposted
April 11, 2025 at 8:18 PM
You say tear-iff, I say tar-iff
Tear-iff! Tar-iff! Tear-iff! Tar-iff!
Let's call the whole thing off!

(No, they're on! They're off! Wait they're back on! They're off but not for China!)

🎶
April 9, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Reposted
Get ready for some new personal best numbers.
April 3, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Reposted
Hopefully Strom Thurmond took some time out of his busy schedule burning in hell to get the news that he was just beaten by a black man.
April 2, 2025 at 11:50 AM
Reposted
I spoke to an expert in authoritarianism, who explained to me that things like this are extremely meaningful and they help protect democracy, even if there’s not a straight line between this and actual legislating
Senator Cory Booker concludes his record-breaking Senate Floor speech after 25 hours

Massive applause for Booker
April 2, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Reposted
I’m back at #teslatakedown here in Owings Mills, MD. This week I have a message for Elon. Please come out next time to fight this madness. You can find out where at @teslatakedown.com
March 29, 2025 at 6:14 PM
Calm down, everyone. Washington once accidently sent his plans to attack Cornwallis at Yorktown (replete with fist bump emojis) to reporter Bartholomew Quisling at the New-England Courant via carrier pigeon. It happens all the time.
March 26, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Reposted
This segment from @maryannefranks.bsky.social is an incredibly tight argument that captures the breadth of the Trump assault on free speech perfectly and in less than a minute.

Spread it far and wide.
WOW. Watch a constitutional law expert completely DEBUNK Republicans’ censorship crusade, while articulating exactly how Donald Trump is threatening freedom of speech. 🔥
March 26, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Reposted
Donald, bring it. I’m so tired of your victimy whiney belly aching crap. You friggin won and you STILL are complaining all the time.

BRING IT YOU SMALL LITTLE BOY
March 17, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Newsflash: due to uncertainty due Trump's chaotic economic policies, Warren Buffet recommends you chase leprechauns for their pots of gold.
March 17, 2025 at 1:59 PM
Democratic funding idea: donate $500 and you get to slap Schumer ala Benny Hill. Donate $1000 and Bill Clinton will play "Yakety Sax" at the same time.
March 14, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Trump and Vance welcomed Zelenskyy to the White House today. The meeting got tense when Zelenskyy didn't say "uncle" enough.
February 28, 2025 at 8:43 PM