The church said it's terminating a decades-long partnership with the federal government to help refugees arriving in the U.S., citing moral opposition to resettling white Afrikaners from South Africa.

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken]

CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter

I think it should be a law that if someone comes to your job and tries to fire you but they don’t actually work there, you should be able to put a hanger on the fuckin’ stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour, take it off and stick it up their ass slow like “tssss”

When you press any man for more information about anything from his early 20s, he’ll get a distant look in his eye and say something like, “Well… that was during the time I had a roommate who would drive his Dodge Dart through the living room wall every night.”

every new restaurant in every major city is either called Thistle+Thorn and thinks adding turmeric to brussel sprouts makes them worth $30 or is called Burger Bitch and has a neon sign in the window that says “im gonna fuck a hamburger”

I don't know who needs to know this, but Pro Publica has an online thing that will format a letter to your US health insurance company to demand the records behind a claim denial. (which the insurance is then legally required to provide in most cases)

projects.propublica.org/claimfile/

i don't believe in blocking people with different views. i think that everybody should listen to everybody else all of the time. i believe that everyone should quit their jobs and stop sleeping so that they can read all of the posts and consider all of the perspectives

this is probably the most important thing i have ever made