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teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
TeenagePhlebotomy
@teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
4.5K followers 3.4K following 14K posts
My neighbor had chickens in his unfenced yard and they shit all over my lawn and patio but now they're dead. I had nothing to do with it.
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teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
"Welcome to Hell. Form an orderly line and proceed through the tunnel, please. One sulfurous lump each. Watch out for the dangling pitchforks!"
Kevin the black and white cat staring intently from a red hamper laying on its side.
December 22, 2025 at 9:40 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Dude in a multi-hued "Star Trek" varsity-style jacket sitting at a table having lunch. He was pleasant enough, for sure. Nice guy. But the jacket was pretty over the top. I don't like anything enough to wear a jacket like that. Remember that Simpsons episode where the old guys were wearing varsity jackets from, like, Disney, or another studio and were a gang of sorts? Well this is pretty much like that, but it's one guy and he's young.
December 22, 2025 at 3:23 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
I would hope so.
Picture of actor Chris Chalk in a black turtleneck and pink coat in front of a white background. The cropped by me headline reads "Chris Chalk Knows His Dick."
December 21, 2025 at 10:41 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
thirteen years ago
Me, a shithead, at 40 wearing antlers, a white Oxford shirt, a tie with a goofy-ass reindeer on it, and red slacks with Christmas trees on 'em. Damn I look like a dork.
December 21, 2025 at 12:37 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
This is absolutely hilarious.
NYT: Trump’s ‘Warrior Dividend’ for Troops Will Be Paid for by Pentagon Housing Funds President Trump promised active duty troops a $1,776 check, citing increased revenue raised by tariffs, but the funding is coming from money for the military included in this year’s domestic spending law.
December 19, 2025 at 3:31 AM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
I don't always wear a hat.
Longhaired coot with grey follicle emissions on head and face. Black roundish eyeglasses. Black zip up jacket. The background is the tuscan yellow in our kitchen that we desperately need to get rid of, but give us a break we just moved here in April. Seriously, get off our asses.
December 18, 2025 at 12:03 AM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Why are they teaching my kid this fairytale shit?
My seventh grader's school assignment on "Which Amendment was Violated?"
December 17, 2025 at 9:52 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Do as you like. I assure you no one gives a shit. Also I'm not really sure what this bullshit means and I'm not going to find out.
nyt: Fighting for Femininity, Not Feminism A group of young conservatives feel that the pressures they face as 20-something women have been made worse by the liberal feminism that defined their youth.
December 17, 2025 at 9:27 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
I would rather die.
Apparently a band called Saxsquatch is playing in Pittsburgh in February. The image accompanying the announcement is of a Bigfeets playing a saxophone amid a background of hippie images like mushrooms and celestial orbs and flowers and shit.
December 17, 2025 at 7:06 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
greetings at you, chum
Old, long-haired man with grey beard and several layers, topped by a blue plaid jacket. He wears black roundish-framed eyeglasses. He menaces the viewer with his prized "Grandma" tea mug.
December 14, 2025 at 5:40 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
This is my go-to.
A Thanksgiving-themed white thong upon which "It's Gobblin' Time!" is writ on the front.
December 14, 2025 at 1:54 AM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
I would suggest it's a bigger problem for those of us who do not get heath insurance from work, but do your thing NYT.
More NYT bullshit: NEWS ANALYSIS For Republicans, Trump’s Hands-Off Approach to Health Care Is a Problem The prospect of soaring health care costs could exacerbate Americans’ feelings about affordability, an issue that President Trump has tried to downplay. But Democrats plan to keep the issue front and center.
December 12, 2025 at 11:46 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Lucy will hold the ball and permit you to kick it, Charlie Brown.
NYT opinion brings us this bullshit. "Trump’s Approval Ratings Are Low, Again. This Time It Might Matter."
December 12, 2025 at 1:46 AM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Do our drug dealers really talk about us this way?
NYT: Doctor Who Gave Matthew Perry Ketamine Is Sentenced to 30 Months The doctor, Salvador Plasencia, had asked “I wonder how much this moron will pay” before supplying the drug to Mr. Perry, who became increasingly reliant on it before his death. The bit about the moron paying is highlighted in the screenshot.
December 10, 2025 at 5:36 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Transphobia, destroying the last few possessions of the homeless, memes.
NYT: THE EZRA KLEIN SHOW "How Gavin Newsom Became the Democrats' 2028 Frontrunner"
December 10, 2025 at 1:51 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
ANALCOB is not a valid word in the NYT Spelling Bee game.
December 10, 2025 at 12:37 AM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
This is funny.
NYT: Kamala Harris Isn't Ready to Be Written Off
December 9, 2025 at 1:13 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
This guy is 6 today.
Gus the Cat, or Big Luscious, a large black cat sits in a bowl-shaped scratching thingy. His yellow eyes gaze into your wretched soul.
December 9, 2025 at 12:34 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Sorry about the assassination, my man.
A ridiculous meme I made years ago featuring a black and white image of John Lennon's face and the text YOU MAY SAY I'M A MEME'R BUT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
December 8, 2025 at 2:53 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Looking fabulous while supporting my sons' futsal club.
Farty, longhaired grey'd up coot wearing a red ball cap and a res scarf. His expression suggests he knows something. He does not.
December 7, 2025 at 3:55 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Gee, pus-fer-brains, that's a great question.
Some more NYT bullshit. OPINION ROSS DOUTHAT Why Is Christianity So Hard to Find in the Trump Administration?
December 6, 2025 at 10:24 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Pittsburgh had a Sherman tank in the '50s for some reason.
A Sherman tank seemingly towing a milk truck during a snowstorm in the 1950s while three dudes observe.
December 5, 2025 at 1:38 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
My check engine light is on.
December 4, 2025 at 10:11 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Abandoned limes.
Two limes abandoned on a counter at a grocery store.
December 4, 2025 at 4:30 PM
teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social
Natalie Merchant and mer, 1989.
Natalie Merchant of 10,000 Maniacs, clad in a black hoodie and red t-shirt rests her head on my 17-year old shoulder. I am much taller. I wear a white oxford over a white Mr. Bubble t-shirt. I'm much taller than her.
December 4, 2025 at 1:13 PM