According to Spotify, my musical tastes have aged me by a few decades. Maybe deservedly so, because I showed this to my teenage daughter before remembering the whole "6-7" meme.

I knew a lot of little quirks came with becoming middle-aged, but crying whenever I listen to Billy Joel's "Goodnight Saigon" is not one I saw coming.

"Stand, you've been sitting much too long
There's a permanent crease in your right and wrong"

RIP.

youtu.be/Q49vjFN6Fsw?...

"did you make that logo signifying Europe's grim duty to rearm in the face of a hostile United States and expanding Russia?"

"Sure did boss, made it real goatse just like you asked,"

From the ashes of Party City, I rescued our newest family member, Larry The House Skeleton. Larry enjoys making bespoke Cha Cha heels for American Girl dolls, contemplating the existential horrors of our present and future, competitive sneering, and pickleball. #skeleton

Somehow, my "It must be a bummer to have your birthday on Christmas" joke never quite landed with the people purchasing "Happy Birthday Jesus!" cakes during my grocery store cashier days.

I've got to hand it to Spotify Wrapped. This sounds a whole lot better than saying, "You spent January 2024 committing psychological torture on your family by playing Mr. Mistoffelees several times on a road trip."

When I made this by request earlier this year from a pattern found on Etsy, it seemed cute and quirky. Now, it reads as a way to cope for the next four years.

In all the pearl-clutching over TikTok corrupting our youth, I haven't heard one person mention how it has exposed 13-year-olds to Edison Lighthouse's 1970 power pop tour de force, "Love Grows".

Only geniuses and people who drank from lead-lined garden hoses will know the answer.

I went to a concert Sunday night and had an inebriated Boomer yelled unprompted to our whole section, "Taylor Swift is the Yoko Ono of the Kansas City Chiefs." I really think he thought we were going to applaud his leaded gasoline fume-fueled bon mot.

When marching band props force you to play a game of Connections.

Remember to check your Halloween candy.