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surprisedface.bsky.social
Surprised Face Guy
@surprisedface.bsky.social
8.3K followers 530 following 16K posts
You could be one of my first 10,000 followers. Time is not running out.

Ranked one of the Top 10 Surprised Face Guys on Bluesky, 2023.

Sorry in advance: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaaly5qgvbn52
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surprisedface.bsky.social
I watched this with Closed Captioning on and when I saw this I was like "there's no way to know if this is an error or not."
Screenshot of RFK Jr, mid orgasm, with closed captioning that says "effects on human elves in this country, and I want to thank the president." I think he said "lives" but you never know with him.
November 6, 2025 at 5:27 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Meanwhile, at the RNC headquarters:
the last panel of the arrested development meme. in the earlier, non pictured part of the meme, the character talks about how these things never work but people delude themselves to thinking this time it will work. Then, typically in this panel (though it is not blank), the character says "but it might work for us"
November 6, 2025 at 12:05 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I have an idea
A screenshot from Google showing SNAP costs 100 billion per year A screenshot from Google showing police cost 140 billion per year.
October 30, 2025 at 1:11 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I bought 3
I don’t know how to explain this so bear with me. It is an add for wall art on Temu with the caption “Temu’s prices have me in awe” that has a blonde woman in athleisure posing sexy on a couch except she is AI generated so she has a third leg coming out of her crotch area that also looks like her butt with a misshapen foot that is connected to her other leg which is beaky awkwardly and has what can best be described as a double foot, where the top of her foot is actually the bottom of a second foot.
October 25, 2025 at 6:07 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
me, getting a tour of the white house in 9 months
Beauty and the Beast panel, where beast is saying "The castle is your home now, you can go anywhere you like, except the east wing", Belle responds with "what's in the east w-" and is interrupted by beast yelling IT IS FORBIDDEN.
October 23, 2025 at 7:31 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
the markets have spoken re:assassinations
All stock market indices up a huge number today. Dow up 600 points.
September 12, 2025 at 12:33 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Had to check
Search for “does Utah have orcas” and the answer is no
September 10, 2025 at 7:54 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Erin did you ever see this one
Tweet that says “Amanda @Manda_like_wine What's your favourite painting of Nicolas Cage trying to breastfeed a smaller Nicolas Cage? Here's mine:” And it’s a real painting that looks exactly like it’s described.
August 30, 2025 at 1:54 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Guys, I'm multilingual.
Me typing a bunch of explanation points and bluesky asking me if I'm writing in Korean.
August 27, 2025 at 6:33 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Look at this bullshit. This is an appointment. This is what an appointment is.
If the forms are filled out, we really need you to arrive at least 30 minutes prior to their appointment time to allow enough time to perform hearing test, vision test, hemoglobin and urine (the word "analysis" is cut off)
August 22, 2025 at 10:10 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I hope the bullets weren’t injured 😕

Also, let’s not miss that the cops didn’t do shit. The dude gave himself up because random bystanders talked him out of it.
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance call were shot and killed in Utah and a man was taken into custody after bystanders persuaded him to drop the gun, authorities said Monday.
August 18, 2025 at 6:43 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
the "this elevator is abuse free" guy - a photo of a guy in his 40s with his hand on his heart and an elevator open, from a Twitter post he made where he wrote "this elevator is abuse free" but it actually makes him look like a total creep.
August 12, 2025 at 11:17 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
the unblurred version will cost you $9.95
Two 12 inch rulers (aka, two feet) that are blurred out.
August 12, 2025 at 8:55 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I mean, come on. This is art.
Armond White giving a rotten to Princess Bride, which otherwise has 96% on Rotten Tomatoes Armond White Giving a Rotten to Past Lives, which otherwise has a 95% on Rotten Tomatoes Armond White, in succession (meaning, he reviewed these one after another), giving a "rotten" to Truman Show, One False Move, Oppenheimer, Barbie, and Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning which are all at this point about 90 to 95% positive on Rotten Tomatoes. Armond White giving a "Fresh" positive rating to Dirty Grandpa, which has a 10% positive review rating on Rotten Tomatoes
August 5, 2025 at 8:59 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Quick, someone tell me how to monetize this
Screenshot showing that "oldmcdonaldhadafarmeie.io" is available for purchase. Just in case the screen readers do not adequately state the domain, the domain is "Old McDonald Had a Farm E I E dot I O."
July 30, 2025 at 9:10 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
they called him a pioneer
Screenshot showing no one used the term “fingeratively” before on Bluesky.
July 23, 2025 at 8:26 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Got a car with one of those augmented reality windshields and I'm not sure it's working.
4 cybertrucks on a freeway, each one with one of those red "sex offender registry" symbols atop it.
July 23, 2025 at 12:28 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
REST IN PISS ASSHOLE
the Phillie Phanatic, a large green character made with green fur and a hose-like nose for sucking shit.
July 21, 2025 at 8:08 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
I mean, they’re right, in sense.
Me searching for “how to check for dick termites” and Google responding by correcting me, telling me I actually mean “drywood termites” which is sorta correct in a way.
July 14, 2025 at 10:46 PM
surprisedface.bsky.social
These people are divorced from reality and divorced generally.
Screenshot showing that TSLA stock is up 5% on news it is crashing.
July 3, 2025 at 5:15 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
When people talk shit about Bluesky.
Scene from Junjito horror manga where the guy climbs into a hole and yells "this is my hole, it was made for me"
July 2, 2025 at 8:25 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
They are already ahead of schedule!
me, replying to a NYT post about Mamdani, with "Can't wait for your newspaper to discover problems that have always existed to blame on Mamdani on January 1st, 2026"
July 1, 2025 at 5:32 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
There were not a lot of vegetarian options.
a good choice circle chart almost entirely empty because nearly all the good choices were meat.
June 30, 2025 at 9:32 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
RIP to this fucking legend.
a huge borer beetle
June 26, 2025 at 5:19 AM
surprisedface.bsky.social
Life writes its own story
The trending topics in order, which are currently 1) Zohran Mamdami, 2) Big Balls, 3) Andrew Cuomo. Those three trending phrases as a sentence made me laugh
June 25, 2025 at 3:41 AM