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sumoyokai.bsky.social
Certified Tom Paris-Hater
@sumoyokai.bsky.social
370 followers 280 following 2.9K posts
Enjoyer of cats, spiders, sumo, comics, video games, and films. Purveyor of fine, artisanally crafted ADHD incidents.

Sometimes I post pictures of spiders and sumo wrestlers, but I promise they won’t hurt you.

they/she queer nonbinary amorphous blob
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sumoyokai.bsky.social
No, I haven't fallen this time. This was last time I was hospitalized.

I think socks in hospitals *could* have meanings, but the colors are only different between sizes here, so I don't think they mean anything here.
A screencap of hospital sock color information from a website article about hospital sock colors. It reads: "Blues and Calmness Ah, the soothing shades of blue. When you see someone wearing blue hospital socks, it's a sign that they are in a calm and stable state. These socks are often seen on patients who are recovering from surgery or undergoing regular check-ups. So, if you're lucky enough to don a pair of blue socks, take a deep breath and find solace in the fact that you're on the right track to better health." None of this is true for me.
October 16, 2024 at 2:52 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
My brain just won't let this go.

Maybe the double claw dudes are just ambidextrous.
A screencapture from the film Idiocracy showing Frito's TV as he watches the Masturbation Network. It's showing a white man flexing with one very buff arm and one regular arm. He is wearing a silver, sleeveless shirt.
October 16, 2024 at 12:42 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
I am not allowed to have water, but I'm allowed to have Perox-A-Mint Solution sponges.

Perox-A-Mint: for when you don't want your patient to turn into a gremlin.
A photo of my hand holding a package of Perox-A-Mint Solution implements. There is a hospital band around my wrist and in the background of the photo, slightly blurry, are a pitcher of forbidden water, a cup, and an Aranet air quality measurement device.
October 16, 2024 at 12:01 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
The nurse won't let me have any water until they get approval from a doctor who has not answered their messages for the past two hours, so I am unable to sleep, sitting on the edge of my bed, angrily farting In-N-Out Burger farts while listening to hospital staff slam the same door repeatedly.
A photo of a hospital hallway full of beds separated by partitions, so you can only see my bed and the partition behind it. There's random hospital monitoring equipment on stands around my bed, and you can see the opposite hallway wall.
October 16, 2024 at 6:33 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
I hate how the ER nurses put the pulse oximeter thing on your dominant hand index finger and an IV in the crick of your arm so you have to answer all the "omg are you okay??" texts with the wrong hand.

Anyway, today's grippy socks are light blue.
A photo of my feet crossed in light blue grippy jail socks as I sit in a hospital bed in the ER.
October 16, 2024 at 5:12 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Our router is dying, so I ended up restarting a game of Stray and then getting past the part where I was previously stuck, only to pleasantly discover that, as a cat, you can walk in front of and trip the police.

Also I went clubbing and scratched a few records because I'm reckless.
A screencapture from the game Stray, showing a small orange cat wearing a digital backpack while it sits on a bar. There is a robot patron nearby drinking a glowing pink beverage as the cat watches two other robots DJing for a dance floor of robots who are all dancing in brightly colored club wear. Two dancing holograms that kind of look like they're wearing lampshades on their heads flank the stage.
October 15, 2024 at 8:00 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
What even are cats?
A grey and white tabby cat laying beside me, with one paw contorted at a really strange angle. A close up of my grey and white tabby cat's paw twisted all backwards.
October 14, 2024 at 4:19 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
A delicious dessert for me.
A soy sauce dish full of pills.
October 13, 2024 at 4:21 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
My grey and white tabby cat, General Fu Hao, laying on my folded and clean laundry inside of an Ikea bag that is sitting on my bed. She is looking defiantly at the camera. I'm sick and can't do anything about this.
October 10, 2024 at 11:35 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Because it's a Meta product, Instagram sucks and hasn't shown me any of Terutsuyoshi's updates since he retired, but it looks like he put on weight and won his first MMA bout on Sept 7.

He's selling sponsor spots on his shorts, if anyone wanted to feel close to Terutsuyoshi's junk.
A screencap of a wonky translation of Terutsuyoshi shit talking his opponent from Instagram. It reads: "I| Sumo to Real Sanctuary Strengthening: I mean that my opponent is bragging about how strong his legs are, but well, I think I'll break my legs and make him ride home in a wheelchair to the airport. Bob Sapp recommended the opposing player, so Sapp was like, come forward instead of hiding behind him. I'm thinking next time l should do sup with me, so I'm just going to beat up my opponent this time. Well, I'll do my best. Name: Teruji Date of birth: January 17, 1995 (29 years old) Country: Awaji Island, Japan Blade height: 169.0cm Weight: 107kg Backbone: Sumo 17 9/7 (Sat) 21:00 ~ All over the world " A screencap of an image from Terutsuyoshi's Instagram showing that he's put on some weight and bleached his hair since his sumo retirement. He is punching at the camera with his right hand while guarding his face with his left, and there are flames along the left side. Maybe they're from his fist, which is surely coming in hot. He looks very serious. A screencapture from Terutsuyoshi's Instagram stories advertising two spots on his left thigh for sale for sponsorships at 300,000 yen each (roughly $3k usd). Everything else is in Japanese.
October 10, 2024 at 9:43 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
reskeet with a tweet you still think about
A tweet by Cat Manning (@catacalypto) reading: [historian voice] it has always sucked ass to be alive
October 10, 2024 at 5:12 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
I grabbed about three pounds of uglies and I'm gonna give it a try in the slow cooker.
A photo of the inside of a grocery bag of green apples.
October 9, 2024 at 1:39 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Garden next door had a buttload of small, green apples out for free.
A bushel of green apples in a wire basket hanging from a wire fence. Above the apples is a small black sign with "Free from the garden" handwritten on it in white.
October 7, 2024 at 7:38 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Somebody left their cosplay weapons in the apartment lobby.
A photo of a fake wide sword, like Cloud's from Final Fantasy, next to a big fake war axe. Both of them are leaning up against the sea foam green wall, on matching ceramic tile, under crappy cheap apartment lobby lights.
October 3, 2024 at 5:18 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
I don't know what sort of operation is acceptable from these things but damn, I wasn't expecting "slobbering 2 month old baby" levels of mess.
October 2, 2024 at 6:48 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Nostalgic for the big trees already :(
October 2, 2024 at 7:32 AM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Well. They totally butchered the trees and are still cutting them back. No more ecosystem this year.
A photo of a neighbor's yard showing the trees completely cut back. Now you can see the house and either a garage or secondary housing unit. None of this was visible before.
October 1, 2024 at 5:45 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
It'll grow back, but dang. That was a lot of chopping.

I've really enjoyed watching squirrels, songbirds, hummingbirds, red tailed hawks, great horned owls, beetles, spiders, etc in these trees.
A photo of the ficus trees in the yard of the house behind my apartment building. They are at least 40 feet tall. The branches are now visible, and it's clear that at least two trees were planted at the property lines and now stretch across the entire property. There's a small building underneath that is now visible, and the yard is littered with cut off branches. In the foreground are many power lines dangerously enmeshed with the branches of the nearest tree, which has been trimmed back a few times since I've lived here.
September 29, 2024 at 7:29 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Just updating to let you know that I'm back in the hot dog costume, and also, Palia added a "lick popsicle" emote, which is vaguely obscene.

A guy said that I was the first hotdog he's seen on the game, and mourned that his gf forbid him from purchasing it.

People hate the hotdog outfit *so much*.
A screencapture of my character from the game Palia. My character is wearing the hot dog costume and licking a popsicle shaped like a rodent with bubble gum eyes while standing next to an npc.
September 26, 2024 at 3:30 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
The General is shoring up her disappointment reserves so she can glare at me more balefully from the top of her six foot tall cat tower later.
A grey and white tabby cat laying on a green and white striped bedspread, front legs outstretched before her and crossed. Her eyes are averted because I'm not worth looking at.
September 23, 2024 at 3:22 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Very mindful, very demure.

Aphonopelma sp. Diamondback
A photo from above of a juvenile tan and dark brown/black tarantula from above in her enclosure. Her pedipalps are tucked closely to her chelicerae, and she is paused. Her cephalothorax is tan and her last set of legs and abdomen are dark brown to black.
September 22, 2024 at 11:26 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Just trying to feed my spiders and once again, the ad system is trying to get me to feel bad for this idiot monarch.
A screencapture from my cell phone of an ad for Royal Match, a Candy-Crush type game where a fat white male monarch keeps landing himself into idiotic and life threatening scenarios. In this one he is being pushed into a bunch of spikes by an avalanche of small rocks, and you're supposed to break through the blocks to drain the rocks and save him. But like, why though. A screencapture from my cell phone of an ad for Royal Match, a Candy-Crush type game where a fat white male monarch keeps landing himself into idiotic and life threatening scenarios. This screencapture shows some screencaptures from the game and a link to download, as if I want to rescue an idiot monarch repeatedly.
September 22, 2024 at 9:56 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
Oh! I bought this for living room art and studying, even though we also have a lift-top coffee table. I like that the surface is basically flat but I can adjust the angle of one side and use my portable LED lamp or sit on the floor with it. If I need something flatter, I will add a mat.
A small lap desk with a ledge on one side. It has an adjustable angle on 2/3 of it in case the user is reading a book or using a tablet, and there's a lip on the bottom of that part to keep things from sliding off. The same lap desk with part of it angled up. The back of the lap desk showing the angle control and the legs folded out. A picture of the lap desk standing up on the sofa.
September 22, 2024 at 8:46 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
I probably should have read the instructions so I would know this instead of covering up the light with Gabe's old work yarmulke.
A photo of a part of the instruction manual for a Coway Airmega air purifier that says "lonizer On/Off Use this button to turn the ionizer on or off." I've circled the part underneath that says, "* Press and hold the IONIZER button for 3 seconds to turn on or off the air quality indicating light."
September 22, 2024 at 7:18 PM
sumoyokai.bsky.social
*fingerkisses*
A Twitter post by a user with the casual name "#1 Abi hater" and the handle "@sumono_ii that says "Abi is a rat bastard"
September 22, 2024 at 8:19 AM