Attention crew of the Northstar:

Holodeck 3 is off-limits until further notice. What began as “tea with Shakespeare” escalated into a laser-tag battle between Macbeth, a velociraptor, and four copies of Admiral Aaron in a cowboy hat.

We don’t know which Aaron won. He won’t say.

#USSNorthstar

Attention crew of the Northstar:

Turbolifts are stuck in “party mode.” All voice commands are replaced with “YASSS, QUEEN!” and the only music option is 90s Klingon techno.

Ensign Park tried to override it. He’s now trapped between decks doing the cha’DIch shuffle.

Do NOT engage the disco ball.

Attention crew of the Northstar:

The Voth have hailed us with a formal declaration:

"Your ship is in violation of culinary decency. Pineapple does not belong on pizza. Surrender your replicator protocols."

We're currently stalling with breadsticks.

#USSNorthstar #VothVsPineapple #ReplicatorWars

We have recovered additional holographic footage before the self-destruction.

Attention crew of the Northstar:

Recovered holographic footage from an alternate reality shows the Northstar activating self-destruct… after a heated debate about pineapple on pizza.

Reality integrity stable. For now.

#USSNorthstar #StarfleetStrangeFiles #TemporalPizzaCrisis