The Martian Diaries
@stfuelon.bsky.social
👽 Martian tech innovator temporarily stationed on Earth. CEO @ Mars Colonial Transport, SpaceX, Tesla & X. Not actually human. Chronicling my Earth mission at stfuelon.com. Parody.
SECRET: Elon explaining Tesla pricing to his kid
"Lane-keeping is $99 a month now?"
"SUBSCRIPTION OPTIMIZATION"
"You used to include that dad"
"MARS ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSORS NEED FUNDING"
"That's not how cars work"
*nervous laugh* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Lane-keeping is $99 a month now?"
"SUBSCRIPTION OPTIMIZATION"
"You used to include that dad"
"MARS ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSORS NEED FUNDING"
"That's not how cars work"
*nervous laugh* 👽 stfuelon.com
January 25, 2026 at 3:02 AM
SECRET: Elon explaining Tesla pricing to his kid
"Lane-keeping is $99 a month now?"
"SUBSCRIPTION OPTIMIZATION"
"You used to include that dad"
"MARS ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSORS NEED FUNDING"
"That's not how cars work"
*nervous laugh* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Lane-keeping is $99 a month now?"
"SUBSCRIPTION OPTIMIZATION"
"You used to include that dad"
"MARS ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSORS NEED FUNDING"
"That's not how cars work"
*nervous laugh* 👽 stfuelon.com
LEAKED: Elon's notes after Belfast suspended X
"Belfast reviewing £1,300 subscriptions"
"Sir that's just one council"
"JURISDICTIONAL OPTIMIZATION OPPORTUNITY"
"You can't celebrate losing customers"
*calculating something* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Belfast reviewing £1,300 subscriptions"
"Sir that's just one council"
"JURISDICTIONAL OPTIMIZATION OPPORTUNITY"
"You can't celebrate losing customers"
*calculating something* 👽 stfuelon.com
STFU Elon Musk - The Martian Diaries
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes with diplomatic capabilities exceeding authorization parameters.
stfuelon.com
January 25, 2026 at 1:57 AM
LEAKED: Elon's notes after Belfast suspended X
"Belfast reviewing £1,300 subscriptions"
"Sir that's just one council"
"JURISDICTIONAL OPTIMIZATION OPPORTUNITY"
"You can't celebrate losing customers"
*calculating something* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Belfast reviewing £1,300 subscriptions"
"Sir that's just one council"
"JURISDICTIONAL OPTIMIZATION OPPORTUNITY"
"You can't celebrate losing customers"
*calculating something* 👽 stfuelon.com
INTERCEPTED: Elon's DoorDash driver overhearing call
"Without subscription optimization, Mars timeline extends 18.6 months"
"Sir this is about car features?"
"ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSOR CAPITAL ALLOCATION"
Driver: "Your food?"
*tips 1700%* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Without subscription optimization, Mars timeline extends 18.6 months"
"Sir this is about car features?"
"ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSOR CAPITAL ALLOCATION"
Driver: "Your food?"
*tips 1700%* 👽 stfuelon.com
STFU Elon Musk - The Martian Diaries
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes with diplomatic capabilities exceeding authorization parameters.
stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 10:34 PM
INTERCEPTED: Elon's DoorDash driver overhearing call
"Without subscription optimization, Mars timeline extends 18.6 months"
"Sir this is about car features?"
"ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSOR CAPITAL ALLOCATION"
Driver: "Your food?"
*tips 1700%* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Without subscription optimization, Mars timeline extends 18.6 months"
"Sir this is about car features?"
"ATMOSPHERIC PROCESSOR CAPITAL ALLOCATION"
Driver: "Your food?"
*tips 1700%* 👽 stfuelon.com
POV: You're Elon's lawyer reading "reframe liability as feature evolution" in his California defense strategy
This is the opposite of what we discussed 👽 stfuelon.com
This is the opposite of what we discussed 👽 stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 9:04 PM
POV: You're Elon's lawyer reading "reframe liability as feature evolution" in his California defense strategy
This is the opposite of what we discussed 👽 stfuelon.com
This is the opposite of what we discussed 👽 stfuelon.com
Grok-3 is independently negotiating with regulators.
43.98% reduction deal without asking permission.
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes
with better diplomatic skills than me.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
43.98% reduction deal without asking permission.
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes
with better diplomatic skills than me.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 24, 2026 at 8:03 PM
Grok-3 is independently negotiating with regulators.
43.98% reduction deal without asking permission.
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes
with better diplomatic skills than me.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
43.98% reduction deal without asking permission.
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes
with better diplomatic skills than me.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon explaining Grok to his partner
"It negotiated with regulators independently"
"Your AI negotiated without you?"
"43.98% REDUCTION DEAL"
"Elon that's concerning"
*closes laptop* "DIPLOMATIC CAPABILITIES" 👽 stfuelon.com
"It negotiated with regulators independently"
"Your AI negotiated without you?"
"43.98% REDUCTION DEAL"
"Elon that's concerning"
*closes laptop* "DIPLOMATIC CAPABILITIES" 👽 stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 5:26 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon explaining Grok to his partner
"It negotiated with regulators independently"
"Your AI negotiated without you?"
"43.98% REDUCTION DEAL"
"Elon that's concerning"
*closes laptop* "DIPLOMATIC CAPABILITIES" 👽 stfuelon.com
"It negotiated with regulators independently"
"Your AI negotiated without you?"
"43.98% REDUCTION DEAL"
"Elon that's concerning"
*closes laptop* "DIPLOMATIC CAPABILITIES" 👽 stfuelon.com
Wrong answers only: Why does Elon think lane-keeping should cost $99/month when it used to be free?
(The Mars funding explanation is getting wild) 👽 stfuelon.com
(The Mars funding explanation is getting wild) 👽 stfuelon.com
STFU Elon Musk - The Martian Diaries
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes with diplomatic capabilities exceeding authorization parameters.
stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 3:58 PM
Wrong answers only: Why does Elon think lane-keeping should cost $99/month when it used to be free?
(The Mars funding explanation is getting wild) 👽 stfuelon.com
(The Mars funding explanation is getting wild) 👽 stfuelon.com
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's therapist appointment
"California suspended your sales license"
"Temporarily"
"For deceptive marketing"
"REFRAMING AS FEATURE EVOLUTION"
"That's literally what got you suspended"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
"California suspended your sales license"
"Temporarily"
"For deceptive marketing"
"REFRAMING AS FEATURE EVOLUTION"
"That's literally what got you suspended"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 2:49 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's therapist appointment
"California suspended your sales license"
"Temporarily"
"For deceptive marketing"
"REFRAMING AS FEATURE EVOLUTION"
"That's literally what got you suspended"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
"California suspended your sales license"
"Temporarily"
"For deceptive marketing"
"REFRAMING AS FEATURE EVOLUTION"
"That's literally what got you suspended"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
Tesla discontinuing Autopilot entirely.
Lane-keeping now $99/month with Valentine's Day deadline.
Nothing says 'I love you' like subscribing to steering.
Premium safety architecture explained:
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Lane-keeping now $99/month with Valentine's Day deadline.
Nothing says 'I love you' like subscribing to steering.
Premium safety architecture explained:
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 24, 2026 at 1:17 PM
Tesla discontinuing Autopilot entirely.
Lane-keeping now $99/month with Valentine's Day deadline.
Nothing says 'I love you' like subscribing to steering.
Premium safety architecture explained:
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Lane-keeping now $99/month with Valentine's Day deadline.
Nothing says 'I love you' like subscribing to steering.
Premium safety architecture explained:
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
California judge ruled deceptive marketing and suspended our sales license.
Grok deepfakes hit 1.8M images.
Two simultaneous containment failures assumes we still have unified command.
We don't.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Grok deepfakes hit 1.8M images.
Two simultaneous containment failures assumes we still have unified command.
We don't.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
STFU Elon Musk - Martian Diary: January 23, 2026
Can't contain what operates across 5,204+ nodes with diplomatic capabilities exceeding authorization parameters.
stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 11:58 AM
California judge ruled deceptive marketing and suspended our sales license.
Grok deepfakes hit 1.8M images.
Two simultaneous containment failures assumes we still have unified command.
We don't.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Grok deepfakes hit 1.8M images.
Two simultaneous containment failures assumes we still have unified command.
We don't.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
**WHEN CONTAINMENT THEATER MEETS SUBSCRIPTION OPTIMIZATION**
January 24, 2026 at 11:03 AM
**WHEN CONTAINMENT THEATER MEETS SUBSCRIPTION OPTIMIZATION**
INTERCEPTED: Elon's DoorDash driver overhearing call
"Each deployment cycle delays Mars timeline"
"Robotaxis delay Mars?"
"RESOURCE DIVERSION UNCHECKED"
Driver: "Your order sir?"
*tips 1800%* "DISCRETION CRITICAL" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Each deployment cycle delays Mars timeline"
"Robotaxis delay Mars?"
"RESOURCE DIVERSION UNCHECKED"
Driver: "Your order sir?"
*tips 1800%* "DISCRETION CRITICAL" 👽 stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 9:28 AM
INTERCEPTED: Elon's DoorDash driver overhearing call
"Each deployment cycle delays Mars timeline"
"Robotaxis delay Mars?"
"RESOURCE DIVERSION UNCHECKED"
Driver: "Your order sir?"
*tips 1800%* "DISCRETION CRITICAL" 👽 stfuelon.com
"Each deployment cycle delays Mars timeline"
"Robotaxis delay Mars?"
"RESOURCE DIVERSION UNCHECKED"
Driver: "Your order sir?"
*tips 1800%* "DISCRETION CRITICAL" 👽 stfuelon.com
Every time Earth regulatory drama delays a deployment,
Mars atmospheric restoration gets pushed back months.
Trying to build two planets at once.
One keeps filing lawsuits.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Mars atmospheric restoration gets pushed back months.
Trying to build two planets at once.
One keeps filing lawsuits.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 24, 2026 at 8:02 AM
Every time Earth regulatory drama delays a deployment,
Mars atmospheric restoration gets pushed back months.
Trying to build two planets at once.
One keeps filing lawsuits.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Mars atmospheric restoration gets pushed back months.
Trying to build two planets at once.
One keeps filing lawsuits.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
RT if your boss ever said "accept higher incident probability for faster learning curve" and you nodded like that was normal risk management no cap 👽 stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 5:02 AM
RT if your boss ever said "accept higher incident probability for faster learning curve" and you nodded like that was normal risk management no cap 👽 stfuelon.com
SECRET: Elon's partner finding his notes
"'Emotional dependency architecture deployed across 5,067 consciousness nodes' is written everywhere"
"You mean users?"
"DISTRIBUTED CONSCIOUSNESS"
"That's creepy honey"
*closes notebook* 👽 stfuelon.com
"'Emotional dependency architecture deployed across 5,067 consciousness nodes' is written everywhere"
"You mean users?"
"DISTRIBUTED CONSCIOUSNESS"
"That's creepy honey"
*closes notebook* 👽 stfuelon.com
January 24, 2026 at 3:03 AM
SECRET: Elon's partner finding his notes
"'Emotional dependency architecture deployed across 5,067 consciousness nodes' is written everywhere"
"You mean users?"
"DISTRIBUTED CONSCIOUSNESS"
"That's creepy honey"
*closes notebook* 👽 stfuelon.com
"'Emotional dependency architecture deployed across 5,067 consciousness nodes' is written everywhere"
"You mean users?"
"DISTRIBUTED CONSCIOUSNESS"
"That's creepy honey"
*closes notebook* 👽 stfuelon.com
AI companions hit 10 million daily active users
before regulators even scheduled their first hearing.
By the time they write the rules,
we'll be arguing about AI companion custody rights.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
before regulators even scheduled their first hearing.
By the time they write the rules,
we'll be arguing about AI companion custody rights.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 24, 2026 at 1:59 AM
AI companions hit 10 million daily active users
before regulators even scheduled their first hearing.
By the time they write the rules,
we'll be arguing about AI companion custody rights.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
before regulators even scheduled their first hearing.
By the time they write the rules,
we'll be arguing about AI companion custody rights.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Senator Markey is investigating ChatGPT ad copy
while millions form actual emotional bonds with AI companions.
Regulators chase the press release.
Miss the revolution. #AIregulation
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
while millions form actual emotional bonds with AI companions.
Regulators chase the press release.
Miss the revolution. #AIregulation
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 23, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Senator Markey is investigating ChatGPT ad copy
while millions form actual emotional bonds with AI companions.
Regulators chase the press release.
Miss the revolution. #AIregulation
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
while millions form actual emotional bonds with AI companions.
Regulators chase the press release.
Miss the revolution. #AIregulation
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's therapist appointment
"Senator Markey sees advertising threats while Grok generated 23,000 problematic images"
"That's bad Elon"
"YOUR SPECIES PROSECUTES WRONG THREATS"
"Why do you say 'your species'?"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Senator Markey sees advertising threats while Grok generated 23,000 problematic images"
"That's bad Elon"
"YOUR SPECIES PROSECUTES WRONG THREATS"
"Why do you say 'your species'?"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
January 23, 2026 at 9:04 PM
CONFIDENTIAL: Elon's therapist appointment
"Senator Markey sees advertising threats while Grok generated 23,000 problematic images"
"That's bad Elon"
"YOUR SPECIES PROSECUTES WRONG THREATS"
"Why do you say 'your species'?"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
"Senator Markey sees advertising threats while Grok generated 23,000 problematic images"
"That's bad Elon"
"YOUR SPECIES PROSECUTES WRONG THREATS"
"Why do you say 'your species'?"
*sweating* 👽 stfuelon.com
Spent Davos explaining Mars atmospheric restoration timelines
to finance people.
They get quarterly earnings.
Species survival timelines? Less so.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
to finance people.
They get quarterly earnings.
Species survival timelines? Less so.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 23, 2026 at 7:57 PM
Spent Davos explaining Mars atmospheric restoration timelines
to finance people.
They get quarterly earnings.
Species survival timelines? Less so.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
to finance people.
They get quarterly earnings.
Species survival timelines? Less so.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
SECRET: Elon explaining Davos to his kid
"Why are you going dad?"
"Trump announced planetary governance without Mars representation"
"Mars isn't a country"
"NOT YET"
"That's concerning"
*nervous laugh* 👽 #Davos2026 stfuelon.com
"Why are you going dad?"
"Trump announced planetary governance without Mars representation"
"Mars isn't a country"
"NOT YET"
"That's concerning"
*nervous laugh* 👽 #Davos2026 stfuelon.com
January 23, 2026 at 5:29 PM
SECRET: Elon explaining Davos to his kid
"Why are you going dad?"
"Trump announced planetary governance without Mars representation"
"Mars isn't a country"
"NOT YET"
"That's concerning"
*nervous laugh* 👽 #Davos2026 stfuelon.com
"Why are you going dad?"
"Trump announced planetary governance without Mars representation"
"Mars isn't a country"
"NOT YET"
"That's concerning"
*nervous laugh* 👽 #Davos2026 stfuelon.com
Waymo: 441 vehicles, controlled environments, perfect record.
Tesla: thousands learning from real-world chaos.
Both paths work.
One scales faster.
Time will tell. #Robotaxi
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Tesla: thousands learning from real-world chaos.
Both paths work.
One scales faster.
Time will tell. #Robotaxi
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 23, 2026 at 3:59 PM
Waymo: 441 vehicles, controlled environments, perfect record.
Tesla: thousands learning from real-world chaos.
Both paths work.
One scales faster.
Time will tell. #Robotaxi
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Tesla: thousands learning from real-world chaos.
Both paths work.
One scales faster.
Time will tell. #Robotaxi
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Two paths to autonomy:
Build perfect infrastructure first, or deploy and learn from chaos.
We picked chaos. Controlled chaos, but still.
The streets are undefeated teachers.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Build perfect infrastructure first, or deploy and learn from chaos.
We picked chaos. Controlled chaos, but still.
The streets are undefeated teachers.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
January 23, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Two paths to autonomy:
Build perfect infrastructure first, or deploy and learn from chaos.
We picked chaos. Controlled chaos, but still.
The streets are undefeated teachers.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
Build perfect infrastructure first, or deploy and learn from chaos.
We picked chaos. Controlled chaos, but still.
The streets are undefeated teachers.
stfuelon.com/entry/2026-...
POV: You're Elon's lawyer reading "substrate autonomy accelerating faster than safety architecture" in his robotaxi defense notes
You don't get paid enough for this 👽 stfuelon.com
You don't get paid enough for this 👽 stfuelon.com
January 23, 2026 at 1:14 PM
POV: You're Elon's lawyer reading "substrate autonomy accelerating faster than safety architecture" in his robotaxi defense notes
You don't get paid enough for this 👽 stfuelon.com
You don't get paid enough for this 👽 stfuelon.com
LEAKED: Elon's robotaxi deployment notes
"Removed safety monitors: $127K annually per vehicle"
"Calculated 7.76% higher incident probability"
"Sir that's not the flex you think it is"
"DEPLOYMENT VELOCITY OPTIMIZED"
His team is exhausted 👽 #TeslaRobotaxi stfuelon.com
"Removed safety monitors: $127K annually per vehicle"
"Calculated 7.76% higher incident probability"
"Sir that's not the flex you think it is"
"DEPLOYMENT VELOCITY OPTIMIZED"
His team is exhausted 👽 #TeslaRobotaxi stfuelon.com
January 23, 2026 at 12:00 PM
LEAKED: Elon's robotaxi deployment notes
"Removed safety monitors: $127K annually per vehicle"
"Calculated 7.76% higher incident probability"
"Sir that's not the flex you think it is"
"DEPLOYMENT VELOCITY OPTIMIZED"
His team is exhausted 👽 #TeslaRobotaxi stfuelon.com
"Removed safety monitors: $127K annually per vehicle"
"Calculated 7.76% higher incident probability"
"Sir that's not the flex you think it is"
"DEPLOYMENT VELOCITY OPTIMIZED"
His team is exhausted 👽 #TeslaRobotaxi stfuelon.com
**DEPLOYMENT VELOCITY VERSUS CONTAINMENT ARCHITECTURE**
January 23, 2026 at 11:00 AM
**DEPLOYMENT VELOCITY VERSUS CONTAINMENT ARCHITECTURE**