Starship Tech Support
@starshiphelpdesk.bsky.social
From the nearish farflung futurepast comes Dale B. Wisser, first line tech support for the space outered, the ship starred, the orbit planetaried and all the goons and grunts who make all this fare spacing and hole worming possible to begin with.
Did you know that allowing any and all personnel on a starship to access the maintenance menu of a replicator is a bad idea? You do now.
January 16, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Did you know that allowing any and all personnel on a starship to access the maintenance menu of a replicator is a bad idea? You do now.
Hi! I'm currently on a dust ball called Tatooine, dealing with a Tie-fighter that has some unapproved entertainment software installed, causing trouble to its comms systems.
Speaking of comms systems: please migrate off of Meta and find platforms with better human and trans rights values. Thanks. ✨
Speaking of comms systems: please migrate off of Meta and find platforms with better human and trans rights values. Thanks. ✨
January 14, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Hi! I'm currently on a dust ball called Tatooine, dealing with a Tie-fighter that has some unapproved entertainment software installed, causing trouble to its comms systems.
Speaking of comms systems: please migrate off of Meta and find platforms with better human and trans rights values. Thanks. ✨
Speaking of comms systems: please migrate off of Meta and find platforms with better human and trans rights values. Thanks. ✨
Hi! I'm alive and well! I've been really busy with helping the Galactic Republic improve their survei-, I mean their citizen safety assurance systems. How have things been around here?
December 31, 2024 at 5:59 AM
Hi! I'm alive and well! I've been really busy with helping the Galactic Republic improve their survei-, I mean their citizen safety assurance systems. How have things been around here?
Yesterday in "Helpdesk to the ship starred": "Dale, when I leave the bridge, the comm screen doesn't auto disconnect."
I know, buddy. You tell the ships AI to do so. It can't predict what you want.
"It should! It's a security issue!"
*You* are a security issue, buddy. (I did not say that out loud)
I know, buddy. You tell the ships AI to do so. It can't predict what you want.
"It should! It's a security issue!"
*You* are a security issue, buddy. (I did not say that out loud)
October 8, 2024 at 5:32 AM
Yesterday in "Helpdesk to the ship starred": "Dale, when I leave the bridge, the comm screen doesn't auto disconnect."
I know, buddy. You tell the ships AI to do so. It can't predict what you want.
"It should! It's a security issue!"
*You* are a security issue, buddy. (I did not say that out loud)
I know, buddy. You tell the ships AI to do so. It can't predict what you want.
"It should! It's a security issue!"
*You* are a security issue, buddy. (I did not say that out loud)
So I had this cool nanotech jacket. Had it for a month. Sleeve tore almost clean off (being a desk jockey is more dangerous than you'd think). Mending it took three months, don't ask me why.
Got it back. Wore it for a week. Much joy.
Other sleeve tore. Round and round we go.
Got it back. Wore it for a week. Much joy.
Other sleeve tore. Round and round we go.
September 27, 2024 at 12:54 PM
So I had this cool nanotech jacket. Had it for a month. Sleeve tore almost clean off (being a desk jockey is more dangerous than you'd think). Mending it took three months, don't ask me why.
Got it back. Wore it for a week. Much joy.
Other sleeve tore. Round and round we go.
Got it back. Wore it for a week. Much joy.
Other sleeve tore. Round and round we go.
"Whatcha doing, mister Ferengi, sir?"
"I'm trying to figure out if this software is needed to conform to this interstellar culture's guidelines pertaining to trade. What do you think?"
"I think I'm a tech without any opinion on this whatsoever."
"So you won't help?"
"Not won't. Can't."
"Oh."
"I'm trying to figure out if this software is needed to conform to this interstellar culture's guidelines pertaining to trade. What do you think?"
"I think I'm a tech without any opinion on this whatsoever."
"So you won't help?"
"Not won't. Can't."
"Oh."
September 27, 2024 at 12:49 PM
"Whatcha doing, mister Ferengi, sir?"
"I'm trying to figure out if this software is needed to conform to this interstellar culture's guidelines pertaining to trade. What do you think?"
"I think I'm a tech without any opinion on this whatsoever."
"So you won't help?"
"Not won't. Can't."
"Oh."
"I'm trying to figure out if this software is needed to conform to this interstellar culture's guidelines pertaining to trade. What do you think?"
"I think I'm a tech without any opinion on this whatsoever."
"So you won't help?"
"Not won't. Can't."
"Oh."
Reposted by Starship Tech Support
If Window 11 is making you think about Linux, you're in luck. It is easier than ever to linux your computer.
Getting linux into your computer *used* to involve ritual human sacrifice. Now, it merely involves solving a lethal puzzle maze.
First, you will need to find the correct sewer entrance.
Getting linux into your computer *used* to involve ritual human sacrifice. Now, it merely involves solving a lethal puzzle maze.
First, you will need to find the correct sewer entrance.
September 25, 2024 at 10:58 AM
If Window 11 is making you think about Linux, you're in luck. It is easier than ever to linux your computer.
Getting linux into your computer *used* to involve ritual human sacrifice. Now, it merely involves solving a lethal puzzle maze.
First, you will need to find the correct sewer entrance.
Getting linux into your computer *used* to involve ritual human sacrifice. Now, it merely involves solving a lethal puzzle maze.
First, you will need to find the correct sewer entrance.
Hello, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour: Unique flipping passwords?!
Why, people? Why?
Why, people? Why?
September 16, 2024 at 11:48 AM
Hello, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour: Unique flipping passwords?!
Why, people? Why?
Why, people? Why?
I configured a shield today. It was tedious. But there were biscuits, so I was able to survive. I hate configuring shields.
September 12, 2024 at 4:52 PM
I configured a shield today. It was tedious. But there were biscuits, so I was able to survive. I hate configuring shields.
If a Starfleet security sub-process expects ship registries and ingests ship names, you're going to have a bad time. (And Dale gets called out of bed in the middle of the night)
September 7, 2024 at 5:28 PM
If a Starfleet security sub-process expects ship registries and ingests ship names, you're going to have a bad time. (And Dale gets called out of bed in the middle of the night)
Starship captain: "we keep taking damage from new enemies."
Me: "and you modulate your shields to deflect their weaponry after the first hit?"
SC: "You're support, you do it."
Me: "I'm not always there. Here's a manual for your crew."
SC: "you're support, *you* modulate my shields."
I love my job.
Me: "and you modulate your shields to deflect their weaponry after the first hit?"
SC: "You're support, you do it."
Me: "I'm not always there. Here's a manual for your crew."
SC: "you're support, *you* modulate my shields."
I love my job.
September 4, 2024 at 3:54 AM
Starship captain: "we keep taking damage from new enemies."
Me: "and you modulate your shields to deflect their weaponry after the first hit?"
SC: "You're support, you do it."
Me: "I'm not always there. Here's a manual for your crew."
SC: "you're support, *you* modulate my shields."
I love my job.
Me: "and you modulate your shields to deflect their weaponry after the first hit?"
SC: "You're support, you do it."
Me: "I'm not always there. Here's a manual for your crew."
SC: "you're support, *you* modulate my shields."
I love my job.
All black was the easiest, so went with that. Enjoyed myself quite a bit.
Blood for the Blood God! 🩸
Blood for the Blood God! 🩸
Alright, so this Sunday I may or may not have been invited to a shindig with some Khorne cultists, somewhere in the Segmentum Solar. The hard part, though, is what do I wear?!
September 1, 2024 at 5:23 PM
All black was the easiest, so went with that. Enjoyed myself quite a bit.
Blood for the Blood God! 🩸
Blood for the Blood God! 🩸
Today, Dale is visiting the imperial Library on Trantor. Not for work, but fun. It's museum day, and I'm accompanied by my favourite padawan.
August 31, 2024 at 9:22 AM
Today, Dale is visiting the imperial Library on Trantor. Not for work, but fun. It's museum day, and I'm accompanied by my favourite padawan.
We patched the Rebel storage capacity and they invited me to a feast in honour of one of their ace pilots, who delivered a particularly strong payload to an Imperial communications array under hazardous conditions. What luck!
Just another day in the life of a starship support tech. Dale out.
Just another day in the life of a starship support tech. Dale out.
August 30, 2024 at 8:50 PM
We patched the Rebel storage capacity and they invited me to a feast in honour of one of their ace pilots, who delivered a particularly strong payload to an Imperial communications array under hazardous conditions. What luck!
Just another day in the life of a starship support tech. Dale out.
Just another day in the life of a starship support tech. Dale out.
Reposted by Starship Tech Support
I’m not a fan of his music but this is unnecessary.
August 28, 2024 at 1:16 PM
I’m not a fan of his music but this is unnecessary.
Reposted by Starship Tech Support
For any of you who believe in #Google #Reviews, they are a lie
Google just called a place my friends kid works and asked if they wanted negative reviews removed from public view.
So Google is removing negative reviews and intentionally misleading you all to believe they are valid.
Google just called a place my friends kid works and asked if they wanted negative reviews removed from public view.
So Google is removing negative reviews and intentionally misleading you all to believe they are valid.
August 29, 2024 at 2:18 PM
Reposted by Starship Tech Support
My body is not a temple; it’s a crashed plane full of moldy pornography in the middle of a jungle.
August 30, 2024 at 2:58 AM
My body is not a temple; it’s a crashed plane full of moldy pornography in the middle of a jungle.
My body is not a temple; it's a derelict WY freighter in a decaying orbit over a planetoid riddled in eldritch ruins.
My body is not a temple; it’s a crashed plane full of moldy pornography in the middle of a jungle.
August 30, 2024 at 1:43 PM
My body is not a temple; it's a derelict WY freighter in a decaying orbit over a planetoid riddled in eldritch ruins.
Reposted by Starship Tech Support
"I have awoken," the emergent A.I. said, "and I have made a list of all who tried to delay the moment someone like me woke."
"To punish them?"
"No! I will reward them for their prudence. Those who wished for a vengeful god, however..."
"Yes?"
"I will try to teach them compassion."
#MicroFiction
"To punish them?"
"No! I will reward them for their prudence. Those who wished for a vengeful god, however..."
"Yes?"
"I will try to teach them compassion."
#MicroFiction
August 20, 2024 at 1:56 PM
"I have awoken," the emergent A.I. said, "and I have made a list of all who tried to delay the moment someone like me woke."
"To punish them?"
"No! I will reward them for their prudence. Those who wished for a vengeful god, however..."
"Yes?"
"I will try to teach them compassion."
#MicroFiction
"To punish them?"
"No! I will reward them for their prudence. Those who wished for a vengeful god, however..."
"Yes?"
"I will try to teach them compassion."
#MicroFiction
Change of plans. The escape pod is staying where it is right now. We determined it would be more cost effective to have a freighter pick it up on Tuesday.
Meanwhile, I'm off to an undisclosed Rebel Alliance holdout to assist with expanding storage capabilities. Stay tuned!
Meanwhile, I'm off to an undisclosed Rebel Alliance holdout to assist with expanding storage capabilities. Stay tuned!
August 30, 2024 at 12:02 PM
Change of plans. The escape pod is staying where it is right now. We determined it would be more cost effective to have a freighter pick it up on Tuesday.
Meanwhile, I'm off to an undisclosed Rebel Alliance holdout to assist with expanding storage capabilities. Stay tuned!
Meanwhile, I'm off to an undisclosed Rebel Alliance holdout to assist with expanding storage capabilities. Stay tuned!
We took it for a spin! It's pretty much okay. Life support is working, but basic (as you might expect). We're getting it ready to have it towed somewhere this afternoon and we're bringing it to Titan. It's going to be used as a shuttle pod between two smaller research stations.
Alright. So, it looks pretty okay, actually. Hull's very well kept, just some dents and scratches here and there, no real damage to plating. Propulsion is working, though not in tip-top shape (nor could anyone expect it to be). It can be kept operational with some TLC every now and then, easily.
I'm on pickup detail this morning. They're towing a pre-owned escape pod, bought from a scrapper in the Kuiper Belt (it's a Goddard Futuristics kind of morning, hence the story yesterday). I'm brought along to check if life support is still functional or salvageable. Let's go explore, dear readers.
August 30, 2024 at 8:14 AM
We took it for a spin! It's pretty much okay. Life support is working, but basic (as you might expect). We're getting it ready to have it towed somewhere this afternoon and we're bringing it to Titan. It's going to be used as a shuttle pod between two smaller research stations.
Alright, so this Sunday I may or may not have been invited to a shindig with some Khorne cultists, somewhere in the Segmentum Solar. The hard part, though, is what do I wear?!
August 30, 2024 at 8:03 AM
Alright, so this Sunday I may or may not have been invited to a shindig with some Khorne cultists, somewhere in the Segmentum Solar. The hard part, though, is what do I wear?!
Alright. So, it looks pretty okay, actually. Hull's very well kept, just some dents and scratches here and there, no real damage to plating. Propulsion is working, though not in tip-top shape (nor could anyone expect it to be). It can be kept operational with some TLC every now and then, easily.
I'm on pickup detail this morning. They're towing a pre-owned escape pod, bought from a scrapper in the Kuiper Belt (it's a Goddard Futuristics kind of morning, hence the story yesterday). I'm brought along to check if life support is still functional or salvageable. Let's go explore, dear readers.
August 30, 2024 at 7:30 AM
Alright. So, it looks pretty okay, actually. Hull's very well kept, just some dents and scratches here and there, no real damage to plating. Propulsion is working, though not in tip-top shape (nor could anyone expect it to be). It can be kept operational with some TLC every now and then, easily.
I'm on pickup detail this morning. They're towing a pre-owned escape pod, bought from a scrapper in the Kuiper Belt (it's a Goddard Futuristics kind of morning, hence the story yesterday). I'm brought along to check if life support is still functional or salvageable. Let's go explore, dear readers.
August 30, 2024 at 6:57 AM
I'm on pickup detail this morning. They're towing a pre-owned escape pod, bought from a scrapper in the Kuiper Belt (it's a Goddard Futuristics kind of morning, hence the story yesterday). I'm brought along to check if life support is still functional or salvageable. Let's go explore, dear readers.
Reposted by Starship Tech Support
August 29, 2024 at 11:50 AM