Squirrel Haggard
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squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Squirrel Haggard
@squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
32 followers 99 following 160 posts
Yeah, I don't really know either
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squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
I saw this perfect autumn leaf the other day
A perfect autumn leaf that is colored yellow along the stem which gives way to increasingly vibrant orange and red throughout the leaf. The leaf is on the ground among a variety of other more basic leaves, twigs, and grass. It is not displayed but understood that the photographer is also extraordinarily handsome.
November 2, 2025 at 12:11 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
A printed sign that reads in all caps "please do not pee on the top of the toilet. Thank you."
June 27, 2025 at 3:50 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Always happy to help people get the information they need
A screenshot from an email sent by google. The email shows a five star review of a restaurant. The text of the review reads "I love all the big wet sandwiches." The contents of the email inform the recipient that "Your review is helping in a big way" and goes on to elaborate that this review has been viewed over 100 times, and that this review is helping lots of people get the information they need. There are also some decorative colors and shapes in the email for whatever reason.
June 24, 2025 at 10:33 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
On my walk I heard a black capped chickadee in a tree above me. As I got closer, he gradually went from "chicka-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee" to "chicka-dee-dee," and after I passed by and got farther away, he lengthened his call again.

TFW you just get absolutely roasted by this round lil cutie:
A black-capped chickadee standing on a tree branch.
June 14, 2025 at 4:18 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Existential delivery updates from UPS today
A screenshot of a delivery notification from popular delivery company UPS. The screenshot shows a message indicating that a package was delivered, and a photograph that would typically show the location that the package was left, however in this instance the photograph shows the edge of a sidewalk and a patch of dirt, and no package is anywhere in sight. Is the package invisible? Does UPS perhaps have a new policy wherein they show photos where the package was NOT delivered and it is up to the recipient to identify the actual delivery location by ruling out all of the not-delivered locations from the picture? Was there ever really a package to begin with, and if not, then why did the truck come all this way so that the driver could take a picture of an empty sidewalk? If there's no package, did anyone even place an order? Does UPS even exist? Does the company that sent the package even exist? Do _I_ even exist? Unfortunately the answers to these questions are not contained within the depicted screenshot.
June 13, 2025 at 8:06 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Happy "Eating-the-Huge-Apple Day" to all who celebrate.
A huge and glorious apple sits next to a large coffee mug for the sake of giving the viewer a sense of scale. The large and glorious apple is slightly taller and a similar width as the coffee mug. In the background of the picture, the viewer can make out a bag of "Bob's Red Mill" brand flaxseed, and not one but two crock pots. Based solely on the contents of this photograph, it would be entirely reasonable to assume that the poster is some sort of Midwestern Casanova
March 14, 2025 at 8:11 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Looking good up there
The moon in the shape of a crescent, looking pretty sexy
February 1, 2025 at 1:04 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
When you're sitting in a tree, tired of my shit:
A hawk sits among branches with a brick building in the background with its head turned to the left. The orange eye of the hawk stares through the tree branches toward the photographer
January 23, 2025 at 4:25 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
After they ate my bread, most of them lost interest, but this one followed me around for a while and looked disappointed with me.
A single goose, standing on a sidewalk, looking elegant but disappointed with the photographer
December 29, 2024 at 4:16 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Artist's rendering of the situation:
A large quantity (dozens, maybe hundreds) of greylag geese surround a very handsome human man. The handsome human is holding a piece of bread in his right hand. The geese are all looking up at the person's face and the bread in his hand. The geese have a collective look in their eyes that simultaneously conveys feelings of hope, hunger, and a splash of "do not fuck with us." It is obvious that the geese want the bread that the human is holding, they want it so bad, and they will do what it takes to eat that bread. The human is processing the emotions of the geese, and contemplating his next move, as he is completely surrounded by geese with no apparent path to escape.
December 29, 2024 at 4:12 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Sunset in a random Midwestern parking lot, the sky is painted in a vivid array of oranges, blues, and purples. The silhouettes of streetlights and trees measure the horizon like the marks of a ruler.
December 8, 2024 at 3:42 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
TFW you don't understand my shit but you're still tired of it:
A hawk sits in a tree in front of a brick building, glaring at the photographer as if the photographer is some sort of weirdo
December 4, 2024 at 1:11 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
Sup dude you wanna do some ice fishing?

Only if you can make ice fishing horny.
February 11, 2024 at 5:35 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
(Nada Surf voice) I'm a crab rangoon, I'm popular
Screenshot from an an online menu displaying the price of Crab Rangoon with a tag that reads "popular" to indicate that this is a popular menu item. Crab Rangoon sounds pretty good right now, might have to go grab some here in a little bit. Okay well have a good day and enjoy this little joke.
January 20, 2024 at 10:08 PM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
5 of cups. This dude looks sad that his cups are empty, better head out for a beer
November 20, 2023 at 12:49 AM
squirrelhaggard.bsky.social
September 2, 2023 at 4:00 AM