You could change that sound to something like, "who wants to go for a walk?" And when it goes off, you both go for a walk:)

So don't inhale either, so not to hyperventilate?

Was there ever a day in the past where you had "enough" coffee? ;)

Also, if you say 'dynamic SQL' a bunch of times in a row it loses all meaning and just becomes sounds.

Folks, you gotta add some NOLOCK on that, plus READ UNCOMMITTED. It's important to use BOTH if you want optimal performance.