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sputzk.bsky.social
@sputzk.bsky.social
Sewers stink. They're gross and they're always full of shit. Yep,truly the scum of the fibre arts world.
December 14, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Van Halen's butler: Here's your guitar, Mr. Halen
November 23, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Me: what are you having for dinner?

My cat: Merrick backcountry grain-free real whitefish recipe cuts protein-rich morsels in gravy
February 2, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Starting to regret that I didn't renew my passport during the Biden administration
February 1, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Androgyny: the vagyny of a man
January 23, 2025 at 2:22 AM
If you think I'm ever going to make a grammatical mistake, I'll tell you right now: I amn't
January 8, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Speaking truth to power
November 27, 2024 at 12:56 AM
I like to lip synch, i.e., move my upper and lower lips in tandem such that they meet in the middle, making the sound "mm"
November 19, 2024 at 1:56 AM
Going on strike? Or striking on go (i.e. picking up $200 upon passing "go" while playing monopoly)?
November 18, 2024 at 1:23 AM
Hungry prospector viewing a rich vein of gold: I'm gonna eat so much bonanas... and za!
November 18, 2024 at 1:21 AM
Ingredients: Peanuts, salt.
Contains: Peanuts.
Also contains: Salt.
Has as a component: Salt.
Is composed of: Salt, Peanuts.
November 11, 2024 at 8:37 PM
6 year old: twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are

Me: you literally just said what it is. it's a fricken star
November 11, 2024 at 4:42 AM
Men are from Mars, women are from Mr. Goodbar
October 21, 2024 at 3:16 AM
Jus think, we could have had president barney sanders
September 11, 2024 at 12:28 AM
When the NYT publishes an outrageous op-ed, the best thing you can do to get back at them is share it widely and talk about it all day. They hate that!
July 21, 2024 at 4:53 PM
If this is the petit Larousse, I'd hate to see the grand Larousse!
June 28, 2024 at 7:21 AM
Jimmy can crack as much corn as he wants, I don't give a shit
May 21, 2024 at 4:40 AM
TIL: AI data centres are made partially out of chips
2020: Microsoft sets goal to be carbon negative by end of the decade.

2023: Microsoft's emissions are 30% higher than in 2020.

Main cause? The relentless push to meet AI demand, which requires new data centers built out of carbon-intensive steel, cement, chips.

www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
May 15, 2024 at 5:05 PM
Hi I'm movie star Matt Darnon
April 29, 2024 at 5:06 PM
It's hard to pass up a free meat slicer, for some reason
April 21, 2024 at 2:49 AM
It's been about 25 years and I still have no idea how to pronounce "Saucony"
April 18, 2024 at 4:16 PM
Been revisiting that classic Marky Mark album, "Marky Moon." Doesn't sound like his other stuff!
April 13, 2024 at 3:01 PM
I'm neuroconvergent. All my nerves converge on a single location: my brain
January 29, 2024 at 10:23 PM
Scrolling through Instagram like, "nobody gives shit about your train gap... Oh look, another backflip into corbet's couloir... Wow, lookit big boy kayaking down a waterfall out of a glacier 🙄"
January 1, 2024 at 5:00 AM
From George Meyer's zine Army Man
December 18, 2023 at 1:45 AM