The poster formerly known as 𝙎𝙋𝙊𝙊𝙆𝙐𝙀𝙇
LightNews LightNews
banner
spamuel.bsky.social
The poster formerly known as 𝙎𝙋𝙊𝙊𝙆𝙐𝙀𝙇
@spamuel.bsky.social
1.2K followers 3.1K following 2.5K posts
Shitty. Patches.

Industry plant
Living that spacer life - Ad Astra Ad Nauseam
Shitty space game: https://agbis.space
Shitty space stories: bit.ly/terriblespace
I do patch commissions. DM me
Posts Replies Media Videos
spamuel.bsky.social
An image from the movie Starship Troopers where a psychic (played by Neil Patrick Harris) places his hand on a really ugly alien and says "it's afraid"
November 5, 2025 at 4:20 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
I don't know nobody
A very ripped dude dressed up as riff raff
October 26, 2025 at 4:43 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
Ooh I've seen that one, I think it's this coke ad?
Coke ad for red-green color blindness that reads "life" but to most people just looks like swirls
October 24, 2025 at 4:06 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Spoopy
A subi with a man in front of it. His hair is so long he couldn't even get a selfie of it at an angle. So spooky
October 24, 2025 at 5:02 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
I got punched in the face at the Ekko Astral "wall of love" and all I got was this shirt
A headless guy wearing a shirt that reads "Ekko Fucking Astral" in a gothic font
October 22, 2025 at 1:48 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Ok, so this is my first attempt at a "Reverse Ishihara test" patch for my coworker I disparaged. If there are any people with prot/deuteranopia who could weigh in here - can you see the hidden shape?
A 4" roundrel patch intending to be a "reverse ishihara test". If you have protanopia or deuteranopia you might be able to see a smiley face. Bonus point if you have it, don't see it, and let me know - I'm using an app called CVSimulator to pick my color palette and don't think I've quite tuned it in properly.
October 22, 2025 at 5:57 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
Ok, that's awesome. So this is more custom than I thought? I just figured it was an available pattern that they punched up
A roundrel patch in the theme of Starship Troopers. A navy blue canvas background with a army green trim. In the center is the eagle logo from the United Citizen Federation. Around the edge it reads "would you like to know more?"
September 11, 2025 at 3:55 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
There's this guy on FBM in my area that gets broken vintage machines and fixes them up. I'm gonna go pick up this bad boy soon
Facebook Marketplace ad for a Kenmore Sewing Machine 158.16250 model. This thing looks straight out of the space age. Mid-century ornamental design with some chrome accents. Giant nobs and mechanical displays. His ad reads "Kenmore 158.16250 (1625) Better than a Singer Heavy Duty in my opinion. Kenmore 158 Series. Google it! All metal Free Arm sewing machines that does a ton of stitches. Video shows it easily sewing through 4 layers of 21oz duck canvas! Also will handle leather, denim and upholstery needs. This machine is almost identical to the Kenmore 158.1941. That is considered one of Kenmores all time best, and this one actually has an additional feature."
September 2, 2025 at 4:01 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
WELL HUGE NEWS FOLX! ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR: BEING LAID OFF. IF YOU HAVE BEEN DYING TO GET YOUR HANDS ON MY SHITTY PATCHES, NOW IS THE TIME!

Starting today and for a limited time only (until I get another desk job) we are BOGOing this shit up. Do you and your BFF have a great patch idea? Hit me up!!
Patch pricing is based on digitizing time, color count, and backing + patch area or stitch count Digitizing (Toolpath design): $25 per hour Tips to minimize digitizing time: Provide a .svg, otherwise expect 1.5 hours minimum For “simple” designs (limited idea, no exact font, simple fills/lines/shapes), .png are acceptable. Ask me about simplifying your design. Avoid rework (besides color swaps). Patch costs: Greater of Roundel: $25 for 2.5”, $40 for 4” Non-standard: $5 per inch squared or $1 per 1000 stitches Add-Ons 4 colors free. +$3 per extra color per patch Velcro backing +$3 per patch, iron-on backing free Color match provided before sewing. If an exact color cannot be found, I can pick it up for $5 per color 1st rework $1 per square inch per patch, $2 per after. Free with purchase
August 27, 2025 at 12:43 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
The edit is also very funny
A butchered Calvin and Hobbs comic. Calvin asks his dad "how do they know the load limit on bridges?". The next two panels are of the structural calculations required to determine loads of a elastic statically determinate structure superimposed over the dumb joke he was originally making. In the final panel, Calvin responds "oh. I should've guessed" because he has already taken several graduate courses in structural design and had previously been taught all of this before. Further sequels to this comic would reveal that the load limits as listed are often not the true as-designed limit and actually are related to the heaviest truck that some guy thinks would be safe for the as-built conditions. Only after the bridge collapses do they realize that that guy was wrong
August 25, 2025 at 10:21 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
I genuinely don't get what just happened
The "post blocked" page
August 25, 2025 at 5:07 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
The "it's always morally correct" meme but there is no action defined because, in this case, it is always morally correct
August 24, 2025 at 11:31 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
New six word story
A Facebook marketplace post for a "cat scratching ball". The post shows a cat toy made from a ball wrapped in twine and supported by a wooden base. It's in good condition for a cat toy. They're asking $10 The description below reads: "Cat scratching ball Barely been used"
August 18, 2025 at 7:01 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Check out this sick Space Jam jacket I spotted on FB Marketplace
The front of the most wild bomber jacket I've ever seen. It's made of some quilted Space Jam-print fabric, with some of the characters appearing to be tufted or chenilled? Anyways, it's got a great letterman jacket effect on top of looking extremely comfy. As for this side of the jacket, we can see the Tasmanian Devil, Bugs Bunny, Lola Bunny, and Michael Jordan. All with the cool carpet-like texture. The background is a light blue top, with a net motif across the bottom. Classic bomber jacket shape and cut. The back side of that sweet-ass jacket. Three of the MonStars (Bupkus, Pound, and Blanko) are visible with the same tufted effect. Idk what happened to the other ones. Not cool enough I guess. (JK they're just cut up on the sleeves)
August 11, 2025 at 10:09 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Yeah, Bluesky has the juice - I found a great artist here, Karen @silverseams.bsky.social, who sells amazing DIY plushie embroidery files and walk throughs! A friend of mine just announced they're having a kiddo, and I was able to make a couple just in time for the baby shower!
Two minky dragon plushies embroidered with simple wings, horns and eyes. The top fabric is a pale mint green. The belly fabric is bright white. The embroidery is a deep forest green. My friend's nursery is going to be knights and dragons themed, so this felt like the absolute perfect option. Thanks Karen! Awesome technique that my mind is rolling over with ideas for. Might have to make a little knights helmet or something
July 17, 2025 at 6:52 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
I make a point of bringing up the other anytime I go to one. Every person I know thinks I like the opposite of them.

And because I work with a bunch of nerds I made patches for the rivalry
The WASA logo. The Whataburger logo on a roundrel with the NASA Chevron cutting through The Up-N-Out logo. The In-N-Out swoosh tilted upwards on a roundrel with UP-N-OUT in the center
July 14, 2025 at 7:21 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Also, I very rarely meet another person who has read Blindsight, so check out this patch that I made that no one ever understands
A roundrel patch with "RORSCHACH WELCOME PARTY" on top and bottom. In the background a dim brown dwarf is almost silhouhetted by a distant star. In the foreground a grotesque crown of thorns
June 30, 2025 at 7:34 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
These bad boys have already perfected pancake convenience:
The Popcake pancake maker with a fat stack of pancakes on the right. Batter is extruded onto a heated roller and a second top roller lightly compresses the pancake into the perfect width and thickness. It then flops out on the right side
June 23, 2025 at 7:15 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
I think we have the same Rickenbacker
Dumb man pretending to be cool for a photoshoot. Very cool blond Rickenbacker bass guitar in his hands plugged into nothing. A large water mark is on the image because I never bought it
June 4, 2025 at 6:00 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Per NASA: "On April 18, 2025, the WFI-2 instrument (which captured its first light on April 14) took images through all three of its polarizers in succession for the first time to create this view. The image is colorized to show the polarization (or angle) of the zodiacal light, a faint glow from dust orbiting the Sun. Hue indicates direction, and saturation indicates degree of polarization. For example, a pastel green feature would be slightly polarized in the horizontal direction, while a deep blue feature would be strongly polarized in a diagonal direction. The Sun’s location is marked with a star symbol. Other stars in the sky appear white because they are mostly unpolarized compared to the 7% polarization of the zodiacal light. The compact Pleiades star cluster appears just above center, and the V-shaped Hyades star cluster appears to the upper left of the Pleiades. NASA/SwRI"
May 23, 2025 at 8:46 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
Me, losing
Me, in a go kart. I'm throwing peace signs because I'm all about leaving my opponents in pieces. Number 32 on the track, but number 1 in our hearts
May 12, 2025 at 4:48 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
Lift some ridiculous OP weapon off a space fighter like these folks
The Toyota HILUX technical. Your local insurgency's favorite platform for mobile high-powered weaponry. In this photo: a red hilux that I keep mistaking for a Heinz ketchup themed wrap with dual missile pods and a rear heavy machine gun. The dude driving is showing off his machine gun, and the dude in the back is repping an RPG in addition to commandering the missile pods. Seems like overkill personally, but to each their own
May 10, 2025 at 4:23 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
I made a shirt with my mom
The master seamstress and a dummy wearing a cool plaid flannel shirt A dummy with long hair wearing the coolest plaid flannel shirt you've ever seen. Look at how well those pockets line up with the pattern. Damn those cuffs? And collar?! Gosh dang that's a nice shirt
May 4, 2025 at 7:09 PM
spamuel.bsky.social
I made these patches for Little Slugger's album release party of "Rooftops"! The designs are from the lead-up EPs' cover art. Check out their new album, available on all platforms! They also have a new music video that teaches you how to be cool: youtu.be/jMRsOdaQWYY?...
3 patches based on the cover art of Little Slugger's 3 latest EPs. Clockwise from top left: "Happy Fucking People", "Better", and "Heartless". See alt description of following images for specifics The album art for "Happy Fucking People" by Little Slugger as a shitty patch. The design is a wrinkled grey plastic bag with an image of a dull orange happy face and the words "HAPPY FUCKING PEOPLE" on it. The album art for "Better" by Little Slugger as a shitty patch. The design is a fancy old-timey tub. The outside of the tub is a dull orange. The legs and inside of the tub are a stone grey. The legs have flashy ornaments where they meet the tub and seems to have toes at their base. The album art for "Heartless" by Little Slugger as a shitty patch. The design is a wrinkled bag of chips with a couple of chips falling out. Honestly, doesn't come out very well as a patch unless you know what it is
May 1, 2025 at 3:11 AM
spamuel.bsky.social
This bad boy
A poster titled "HILUX The Evolution of Revolution" with 8 versions of the Toyota HILUX with various technicals on the back. Below is some marketing shlock about how terrorists love it or something.
April 30, 2025 at 6:44 PM