I heard the flat buzz of 2-stroke engines farting their way down Mulholland and I assumed it was a bunch of kids on dirt bikes doing a street takeover, but no, it was nerds on vintage Vespa scooters, all of them glinting in the sun with their cream enamel paint jobs and tasteful accessories.

Hey LA why do we do this to ourselves every year? It really is awful. The city becomes unlivable the night of the Fourth of July, and the air becomes poisonous the day after.