Cole D’beverage
sociolinguini.bsky.social
Cole D’beverage
@sociolinguini.bsky.social
Unrefutably the dunk champion of The Immaculate Conception Church of Perennial Depression Elementary School
The next time it’s just going to be one of the 90 year old congressmen who MAGA hates who dies of natural causes and they’re going to make a database of people “celebrating death”. And it’ll just go on from there.
September 16, 2025 at 2:58 AM
The left just created 100 million Brian Thompsons
September 12, 2025 at 5:59 PM
The Pizzagate stuff of analyzing every single word to be a potential indicator of child sex trafficking, meanwhile these guys are just saying “ remember when you sold a kid to Trump”
September 9, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Pritzker over Newsom any day
August 24, 2025 at 6:03 AM
This is just so funny to me
June 15, 2025 at 1:40 PM
The full wall to floor urinal is alive and well in the Upper Midwest. God bless this land
June 10, 2025 at 6:30 PM
Reposted by Cole D’beverage
Don’t protest ICE. It’s exactly what Trump wants. Real resistance is our strategy, which is to vote for his cabinet nominees. He hates that.
June 9, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Republicans can’t think of a higher level of violence than a dozen shooting carts and a couple cars being lit on fire
June 9, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Definitely the worst part about social media in the past few years is that I’m not using it less, but my contributions and interactions have plummeted. Social media has always been bad but at least when I was posting the cringiest thing on FB at 13 I was posting
May 14, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I think the most imbalanced power dynamic is when you are one second behind and have to wait to use the only sink after using the stall. The other person (washing, vibing) *knows* you’re unclean. They can imagine as much poop on your hands as they want.
April 8, 2025 at 7:24 PM
I think secretly everyone wants to title their dissertation something that’s 5 sentences long like a 19th century book on the geology of Sheffield and the surrounding environs.

Still trying to see if I can incorporate a very specific emoticon in mine
March 20, 2025 at 6:09 AM
They’re not even pretending that Mahmoud Khalil did anything wrong other than speech they do not like.
March 11, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Reposted by Cole D’beverage
if the nfl rules that the tush push is illegal, that means all the games the eagles have won in recent years will be vacated and the chiefs will be retroactively recognized as this year's super bowl champion, thereby securing a threepeat. if anyone disagrees, please quote this post or leave a reply
February 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM
The “definition of insanity” thing is stupid not only because it’s trite and so much nothing, but because doing the same thing over and over even with no results is just like, what muscle memory is.

I drop a juggling ball 300 times before I get a trick and it’s not from changing anything.
February 23, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Reposted by Cole D’beverage
Everytime a guy says “Comedy is legal again” they then do this
February 21, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Struggling to think of almost anything that would involve humans that wouldn’t get flagged
🚨BREAKING. From a program officer at the National Science Foundation, a list of keywords that can cause a grant to be pulled. I will be sharing screenshots of these keywords along with a decision tree. Please share widely. This is a crisis for academic freedom & science.
February 4, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Such low hanging fruit but probably the dumbest possible statement someone could make
January 26, 2025 at 12:40 AM
The NIH pause is going to be so catastrophic.
January 23, 2025 at 4:57 PM
International Foreign Aid is a pittance in comparison to the flagrant looting that US firms do through misinvoicing and lying on their receipts. This is just cruel.
January 21, 2025 at 8:41 PM
I bet people who have been hit by a bus get very smug when sleepy/sick people use that expression
December 3, 2024 at 2:33 AM
Feel like we brushed past the “We’ll invade the ICC if they do warrants” threats pretty quickly
December 3, 2024 at 1:03 AM
Regret to inform the public that “The revolt of African slaves in Iraq in the 3rd/9th century” is not the page turner I thought it would be
November 23, 2024 at 1:16 AM
My dentist clicked on one of my X-rays and literally hit “zoom in” and then “enhance”

Is this the end times? Also I’m falling in love with AI: A new article from The Atlantic
October 31, 2023 at 7:02 AM
Elite fire trucks are blue to sneak up on the hottest fires
October 19, 2023 at 3:57 AM
The whole “boomers are brain dead because of lead paint” thing is kinda insidious when the people with the highest amount of heavy metals in their blood are essentially slave laborers in the Congo cobalt/copper mines
October 14, 2023 at 8:22 PM