Women in their 40s: I'm going to lose weight!

Perimenopause: I think the fuck not.

Happy President's Day to everyone but my sister, who woke me up before 7 am on my day off by butt dialing me. I'm demoting her from favorite sister to "annoying sibling I was once forced to share a room with"

Don’t buy stuff on February 28. Money’s the only thing these dicks understand.
#resist

.....accurate.

Laughing. Crying, too. But laughing.

#Grimm rewatch & plot points less realistic than fairy tale monsters existing among us: One of the main characters lives a pretty comfortable looking life in Portland, Oregon, thanks to his lucrative and apparently well paying job as...(checks notes)... an antique clock repairman?

Paint me like I'm one of your French girls... Only wearing bright orange grippy socks to protect my princess paw pads.

To distract myself from—gestures at everything—I'm rewatching #Grimm and laughing at things in a show about fairy tale monsters that's more unrealistic than fairy tale monsters. Like how one of the lead characters, a veterinarian, has no pets. I think a kitten comes standard with the diploma.

It's been two months since cancer took Oscar from us. I may not cry every single day anymore, but grief is still brutal and punches me in the gut randomly and without warning. He wasn't just a dog, and I'm not sure I'll ever stop missing him. #petloss #petgrief

I KNEW it

I thought this was supposed to be satire....

Current mental health status:

Oh sweet meteor, cleanse us.

Shouldn't some intrepid heroes be coming back in time right about now to stop the comically evil villains from starting the apocalypse?

I used to love reading dystopian fiction in high school.

Reaaaaally not enjoying living through dystopian reality as an adult.