Chris - Tortured Systems Engineer™️
@optesterchris.bsky.social
Navy (ret) Surface Warfare Officer & missile defender with a side of fries. I taught Zach Mayo everything he knows. A perfectly flawed human. Opinions = my own.
This is meme is so relevant right now it hurts.
January 3, 2026 at 11:55 AM
This is meme is so relevant right now it hurts.
If it’s going to be this cold, Zola and I demand snow. Please and thank you.
January 2, 2026 at 8:43 PM
If it’s going to be this cold, Zola and I demand snow. Please and thank you.
Spending a couple of hours immersed at the intersection of history, science, and engineering.
January 2, 2026 at 4:07 PM
Spending a couple of hours immersed at the intersection of history, science, and engineering.
New Year, new bake.
Guinness Chocolate Cake. I am debating about making a chocolate ganache or a chocolate frosting for it or leave it as it is.
Guinness Chocolate Cake. I am debating about making a chocolate ganache or a chocolate frosting for it or leave it as it is.
January 1, 2026 at 10:32 PM
New Year, new bake.
Guinness Chocolate Cake. I am debating about making a chocolate ganache or a chocolate frosting for it or leave it as it is.
Guinness Chocolate Cake. I am debating about making a chocolate ganache or a chocolate frosting for it or leave it as it is.
First Triple Dipper of the year!
January 1, 2026 at 4:31 PM
First Triple Dipper of the year!
New Year’s Eve 2002 - Valetta, Malta
January 1, 2026 at 2:15 AM
New Year’s Eve 2002 - Valetta, Malta
Ending the evening and the year on a high note…
January 1, 2026 at 1:49 AM
Ending the evening and the year on a high note…
The 2025 trials and tribulations have rendered me bowed, bent, and broken.
The last 365 days can kiss the darkest recesses of my lily white a…
This year, y’all, was a lot. But I took 389 pictures of my dog. I walked quite a few miles. Read 27 books. I’ll see y’all next year…
The last 365 days can kiss the darkest recesses of my lily white a…
This year, y’all, was a lot. But I took 389 pictures of my dog. I walked quite a few miles. Read 27 books. I’ll see y’all next year…
December 31, 2025 at 7:43 PM
The 2025 trials and tribulations have rendered me bowed, bent, and broken.
The last 365 days can kiss the darkest recesses of my lily white a…
This year, y’all, was a lot. But I took 389 pictures of my dog. I walked quite a few miles. Read 27 books. I’ll see y’all next year…
The last 365 days can kiss the darkest recesses of my lily white a…
This year, y’all, was a lot. But I took 389 pictures of my dog. I walked quite a few miles. Read 27 books. I’ll see y’all next year…
Post-Appalachian Trail hike treats
December 31, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Post-Appalachian Trail hike treats
For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
Everything I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
'Cause it led me here to this…
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
Everything I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
'Cause it led me here to this…
December 30, 2025 at 10:01 PM
For every stoplight I didn't make
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
Everything I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
'Cause it led me here to this…
Every chance I did or I didn't take
All the nights I went too far
All the girls that broke my heart
All the doors that I had to close
Everything I knew but I didn't know
Thank God for all I missed
'Cause it led me here to this…
Mentally preparing myself for 2026
December 30, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Mentally preparing myself for 2026
Before a nearly two hour walk.
And after a nearly two hour walk.
And after a nearly two hour walk.
December 28, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Before a nearly two hour walk.
And after a nearly two hour walk.
And after a nearly two hour walk.
The rules no longer matter for the remainder of the year.
December 28, 2025 at 12:44 PM
The rules no longer matter for the remainder of the year.
A Zola Story in four acts:
December 26, 2025 at 4:50 PM
A Zola Story in four acts:
NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
December 26, 2025 at 2:09 PM
NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
I’m starting early with being confused, full of cheese, and unsure what day of the week it is this year.
Pass the brie and what day is it?
Pass the brie and what day is it?
December 26, 2025 at 12:12 PM
I’m starting early with being confused, full of cheese, and unsure what day of the week it is this year.
Pass the brie and what day is it?
Pass the brie and what day is it?
What every professional needs for Christmas
December 26, 2025 at 2:09 AM
What every professional needs for Christmas
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
December 25, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!”
- A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas
- A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas
December 24, 2025 at 11:25 PM
“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach!”
- A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas
- A Christmas Carol. In Prose. Being a Ghost Story of Christmas
I have been invited to Christmas brunch tomorrow.
My mama always told me to bring something nice when one gets invited to someone’s home. Lemon Ricotta Cake is on the menu.
My mama always told me to bring something nice when one gets invited to someone’s home. Lemon Ricotta Cake is on the menu.
December 24, 2025 at 7:02 PM
I have been invited to Christmas brunch tomorrow.
My mama always told me to bring something nice when one gets invited to someone’s home. Lemon Ricotta Cake is on the menu.
My mama always told me to bring something nice when one gets invited to someone’s home. Lemon Ricotta Cake is on the menu.
I swear to God I purchased unsalted butter last Saturday. Now I can’t find it.
FML… 🤦🏻♂️
Pray for me as I run to the store.
FML… 🤦🏻♂️
Pray for me as I run to the store.
December 24, 2025 at 3:09 PM
I swear to God I purchased unsalted butter last Saturday. Now I can’t find it.
FML… 🤦🏻♂️
Pray for me as I run to the store.
FML… 🤦🏻♂️
Pray for me as I run to the store.
Some Christmas quotes for you:
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ George Carlin
- Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip ~ Gary Allan
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ George Carlin
- Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip ~ Gary Allan
December 24, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Some Christmas quotes for you:
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ George Carlin
- Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip ~ Gary Allan
- Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. ~ Victor Borge
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ George Carlin
- Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip ~ Gary Allan
Air those grievances!
December 23, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Air those grievances!
I don’t want anymore bad news for 2025. New bad news will have to wait till January 5th for me to deal with.
I’m tapped out on bad news for this year. I’ve had my fill.
I’m tapped out on bad news for this year. I’ve had my fill.
December 22, 2025 at 4:34 PM
I don’t want anymore bad news for 2025. New bad news will have to wait till January 5th for me to deal with.
I’m tapped out on bad news for this year. I’ve had my fill.
I’m tapped out on bad news for this year. I’ve had my fill.
How your email finds me this week:
December 22, 2025 at 11:22 AM
How your email finds me this week: