CENOBITE WHO INTRODUCES YOU TO HELL: ...is that all hmm... chains, hooks... big maze.. leviathan.. ok, your hand's been up for a while
ME: yeah sorry what did you say feels like cumming?
CENOBITE (writing "Pain >>> Cumming" on a chalkboard): this is a really important one to remember

Still one of the best songs I’ve heard in my life

youtu.be/Sy0A0pQmGPM?...

Someone in the stall next to me is taking the hairiest shit of all time.

I ripped sympathy ass it's WEbs not ibs

Some of you really need to stop arguing online and start sucking and fucking instead.

you're gonna wanna see this

stop jerking off. you’re making jesus sad with ur cums

Lets check in on the raccoon nursery school! 🦝

📽️ raccooncorner

I'm increasingly unhappy with the state of education in the US, so like any unemployed person I wrote a substack article about it. There may be more later.

skunkjudge.substack.com/p/reading-is...

Sometimes, I think I'm pretty damn smart.

I'm trying to explain to myself how a box-and-whisker plot works. I don't feel smart anymore.

my wife (roleplaying as a pothole): ooooh my that’s an awfully nice ass-phalt you’ve got there

me (tipping my hard hat and straightening my lace safety vest): thank you madam pothole, i’ve been sent here by the city to come fill you up

You get so much time for hobbies when you're unemployed.

I have shit at my local Raley's more than I have in my own home.

Serving cold brains. call that making beckfast

I waited so long to get here and now I don't know what to do.

Twitter is broken, and I have this shiny new clean slate to write on. I've never wanted anything less.