Got bit by a false widow for the 5th time in two years, I’m done leaving spiders be, they’re getting evicted today and if they don’t go willingly by glass and paper then the henry hoover bailiff is coming for them
November 27, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Got bit by a false widow for the 5th time in two years, I’m done leaving spiders be, they’re getting evicted today and if they don’t go willingly by glass and paper then the henry hoover bailiff is coming for them
Reposted by Eloise
one of the coolest things about ChatGPT is how you can actually just never use it. you can fill your whole entire life with simply not once using it. it's incredible.
November 25, 2025 at 4:15 PM
one of the coolest things about ChatGPT is how you can actually just never use it. you can fill your whole entire life with simply not once using it. it's incredible.
I’m a log splittin’ and stackin’ girly, Noah’s going to be so impressed when he gets home 💪
November 25, 2025 at 2:42 PM
I’m a log splittin’ and stackin’ girly, Noah’s going to be so impressed when he gets home 💪
Nothing like a visit to a friend and her newborn to get you so broody that you’re mentally planning redecorating your home to prepare for a baby that has not been conceived
November 23, 2025 at 6:15 AM
Nothing like a visit to a friend and her newborn to get you so broody that you’re mentally planning redecorating your home to prepare for a baby that has not been conceived
Put my clothes between two hot water bottles while I was in the shower this morning and I think that is the kindest most thoughtful thing I have ever done for myself
November 21, 2025 at 9:21 AM
Put my clothes between two hot water bottles while I was in the shower this morning and I think that is the kindest most thoughtful thing I have ever done for myself
Why is buying a new car so hard like idk what a volvo is, I just want it to be green
November 17, 2025 at 2:21 PM
Why is buying a new car so hard like idk what a volvo is, I just want it to be green
Being a reformed fussy eater is hilarious because why am I proud of myself for eating lasagna
October 15, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Being a reformed fussy eater is hilarious because why am I proud of myself for eating lasagna
I’m getting married tomorrow 🥰
July 25, 2025 at 6:41 AM
I’m getting married tomorrow 🥰
Losing the length has made my curls come to LIFE
July 19, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Losing the length has made my curls come to LIFE
Had 7 inches cut off my hair today, feel like a different person 💃
July 19, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Had 7 inches cut off my hair today, feel like a different person 💃
Reposted by Eloise
a wet t-shirt contest but with hot dog water so the contestants look AND smell sexy
July 12, 2025 at 8:19 PM
a wet t-shirt contest but with hot dog water so the contestants look AND smell sexy
Got a proper big girl haircut booked and I’m scared about the hairdresser judging me for my cooked ends and bodged home cut fringe
July 6, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Got a proper big girl haircut booked and I’m scared about the hairdresser judging me for my cooked ends and bodged home cut fringe
Extended our honeymoon which is exciting but what if our dog forgets who we are
July 5, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Extended our honeymoon which is exciting but what if our dog forgets who we are
Comparing old photos to see how far I’ve come with my weight gain, got my life, health, confidence, and fertility back 🫶
July 5, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Comparing old photos to see how far I’ve come with my weight gain, got my life, health, confidence, and fertility back 🫶
home workouts with no gym equipment has me bench pressing candelabra on the coffee table
July 4, 2025 at 2:16 PM
home workouts with no gym equipment has me bench pressing candelabra on the coffee table
Reposted by Eloise
hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine
July 4, 2025 at 1:12 PM
hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine
Dear Pets At Home, please stop sending me mail saying “treat Sprocket to something nice”, surely cancelling his repeat order should have been hint enough that Sprocket is in fact dead
July 3, 2025 at 1:40 PM
Dear Pets At Home, please stop sending me mail saying “treat Sprocket to something nice”, surely cancelling his repeat order should have been hint enough that Sprocket is in fact dead
Pub garden weather innit 🍻
June 30, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Pub garden weather innit 🍻
The only way to stop myself being covered in mosquito bites is to cover myself in so much deet that I become a genuine biohazard
June 29, 2025 at 11:36 AM
The only way to stop myself being covered in mosquito bites is to cover myself in so much deet that I become a genuine biohazard
I had a good hen do but now I’m going to sit in front of the mirror and practice soft smiles
June 26, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I had a good hen do but now I’m going to sit in front of the mirror and practice soft smiles
Exactly 1 month left with my last name, girl I’ll miss you it’s been neat 🫶
June 26, 2025 at 7:07 AM
Exactly 1 month left with my last name, girl I’ll miss you it’s been neat 🫶
Sounds like Noah’s stag do was a wild one
June 8, 2025 at 1:28 PM
Sounds like Noah’s stag do was a wild one
Our friends are fostering kittens!!!
June 4, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Our friends are fostering kittens!!!
Rose scented zoflora??? Finally my house can smell like me
June 1, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Rose scented zoflora??? Finally my house can smell like me
Shoutout to the middle aged guy who tried hitting on me at the self checkouts when I was buying incontinence pads in preparation for an abortion on Monday
May 21, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Shoutout to the middle aged guy who tried hitting on me at the self checkouts when I was buying incontinence pads in preparation for an abortion on Monday