Crash
@shumone.bsky.social
Journeyman union electrician. Instrument technician. Serial hobby abandoner. Guy from Louisiana.
An unread magic user has a phylactery that is two cashews.
The weakness of the lich: Deez nuts
HA! GOT EM!
The weakness of the lich: Deez nuts
HA! GOT EM!
July 11, 2024 at 2:02 AM
An unread magic user has a phylactery that is two cashews.
The weakness of the lich: Deez nuts
HA! GOT EM!
The weakness of the lich: Deez nuts
HA! GOT EM!
Thought I was going to work today, ended up falling 13,000 feet out of a plane.
July 1, 2024 at 9:29 PM
Thought I was going to work today, ended up falling 13,000 feet out of a plane.
Me, merging onto I-69:
Nice
Nice
June 20, 2024 at 2:22 AM
Me, merging onto I-69:
Nice
Nice
I pass by a business called Ivy therapy for kids fairly often. Every time I pass I think: "There cannot be that many drug addict kids in this town." So I finally looked them up.
It's physical therapy.
It's physical therapy.
June 15, 2024 at 2:23 AM
I pass by a business called Ivy therapy for kids fairly often. Every time I pass I think: "There cannot be that many drug addict kids in this town." So I finally looked them up.
It's physical therapy.
It's physical therapy.
At what age does a dog stop being a puppy? Or is it a size thing?
June 11, 2024 at 12:18 AM
At what age does a dog stop being a puppy? Or is it a size thing?
I'll eat my microwaved taco bell through my tears like a true red blooded American
May 20, 2024 at 12:41 AM
I'll eat my microwaved taco bell through my tears like a true red blooded American
Pee on it! Do it! You never listen to my commands!
- Me, to my dog. As witnessed by a random couple in a white 2017 Chevy Z71
- Me, to my dog. As witnessed by a random couple in a white 2017 Chevy Z71
May 17, 2024 at 10:03 PM
Pee on it! Do it! You never listen to my commands!
- Me, to my dog. As witnessed by a random couple in a white 2017 Chevy Z71
- Me, to my dog. As witnessed by a random couple in a white 2017 Chevy Z71
Also, never be the drunkest person setting off fireworks. 3 finger Phil can tell you why
December 31, 2023 at 11:51 PM
Also, never be the drunkest person setting off fireworks. 3 finger Phil can tell you why
Time for America's favorite guessing game "Fireworks or gunshots?"
December 31, 2023 at 11:39 PM
Time for America's favorite guessing game "Fireworks or gunshots?"
Reposted by Crash
Who wants to tell him? 🙄
![@JesseKellyDC: People love to sound sophisticated and brag about European art and architecture. I've seen America’s and I've seen what they’ve got. Theirs can’t touch ours. [photo of the Statue of Liberty]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:y4zs4cabaezzwx3bz2e5nnj2/bafkreibdteml4sfjb45txxcwiuse6rjpjmsdi23m2mfvtyycwnjtvenswa@jpeg)
December 27, 2023 at 2:13 PM
Who wants to tell him? 🙄
Reposted by Crash
I just wish open Nazis were treated with the same level of contempt by the news media as annoying 19 year old college kids
December 21, 2023 at 7:43 PM
I just wish open Nazis were treated with the same level of contempt by the news media as annoying 19 year old college kids
When did mobile games switch to constantly showing ads? I just want to play solitaire while I'm waiting at the DMV, not watch all these commercials for clickers I'm not interested in
December 16, 2023 at 10:13 PM
When did mobile games switch to constantly showing ads? I just want to play solitaire while I'm waiting at the DMV, not watch all these commercials for clickers I'm not interested in
Nothing hypes up the petro plant like my sad karaoke in the fab tent.
My coworkers may not enjoy it but I had a great day.
My coworkers may not enjoy it but I had a great day.
December 14, 2023 at 1:43 AM
Nothing hypes up the petro plant like my sad karaoke in the fab tent.
My coworkers may not enjoy it but I had a great day.
My coworkers may not enjoy it but I had a great day.
My dog eats at a certain time everyday. When he starts begging I tell him "You don't eat until x".
Then he looks at a clock then back at me
Then he looks at a clock then back at me
December 9, 2023 at 11:51 PM
My dog eats at a certain time everyday. When he starts begging I tell him "You don't eat until x".
Then he looks at a clock then back at me
Then he looks at a clock then back at me
A ham and cheese waffle can't possibly be too complicated to make
December 5, 2023 at 2:06 AM
A ham and cheese waffle can't possibly be too complicated to make
Reposted by Crash
HEAR ME, X-MEN! I AM NO LONGER THE CONGRESSMAN YOU KNEW! I AM FIRE — AND LIFE INCARNATE! NOW AND FOREVER—
December 2, 2023 at 12:36 AM
HEAR ME, X-MEN! I AM NO LONGER THE CONGRESSMAN YOU KNEW! I AM FIRE — AND LIFE INCARNATE! NOW AND FOREVER—
Reposted by Crash
If he wasn't a powerful and litigious white supremacist, what Elon's going through would be deeply sad. He clearly has a bottomless need for approval, has been used to getting it for years and is now destroying his life to seek it out from the dwindling number of losers willing to give it to him.
December 1, 2023 at 9:16 PM
If he wasn't a powerful and litigious white supremacist, what Elon's going through would be deeply sad. He clearly has a bottomless need for approval, has been used to getting it for years and is now destroying his life to seek it out from the dwindling number of losers willing to give it to him.
Reposted by Crash
Sources say his plan was to drive one off the lot
December 1, 2023 at 10:34 PM
Sources say his plan was to drive one off the lot
What wine pairs with string cheese?
December 2, 2023 at 2:17 AM
What wine pairs with string cheese?
Looking up how to become a legal weed farmer just so I can name all the strains terrible puns
November 28, 2023 at 11:16 PM
Looking up how to become a legal weed farmer just so I can name all the strains terrible puns
Being paid to commute to a job to do nothing is the most nonsensical "work" thing you can have to put up with. If there's enough money for me to be paid to sleep on site, I could just stay home and sleep.
November 12, 2023 at 6:59 PM
Being paid to commute to a job to do nothing is the most nonsensical "work" thing you can have to put up with. If there's enough money for me to be paid to sleep on site, I could just stay home and sleep.
Walking around, I'm starting to understand that cat compulsion to just knock stuff off of whatever it's sitting on
November 11, 2023 at 10:21 PM
Walking around, I'm starting to understand that cat compulsion to just knock stuff off of whatever it's sitting on