I've recently been playing I was a teenage exocolonist and it's so pretty! #sketch #art

I feel like I say this every year but I really need people to hear it. Halloween is the best American holiday. Just kids outside welcomed into their world, marching around together, showing off their costumes to the elderly, parents meeting parents, neighbors catching up with neighbors.

one of the great conservative moves over the past decade has been to make themselves so unpleasant that their own family members are forced to cut them off, and then use that fact to argue that *liberals* are too uncivil

Question for the room: What is some non-toxic dating advice you would give to straight men?

Given how commonly it shows up on these accounts and in the responses, I would suggest not following your romantic interest on social media!

I think I'm going to have to log off of the internet for a bit before the news cycle breaks my brain entirely. Hundreds of millennia of human evolution have not provided us the cognitive tools required to process this level of administrative chaos.

"Did you consider the people who don't like chili? The people who are vegetarians? The people without tastebuds? The people who don't know how to turn on stoves? What about all those folks?"

There's no better prank than having a child. Pulling a guy out of oblivion like congratulations these are all your problems now

Everything about getting older is great except for the breakdown of the vessel that contains you (or, arguably, the breakdown of the vessel that is you).

I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad

This wrecks me—every single time.