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shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Chrissi 🍉🍂
@shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
600 followers 390 following 2.7K posts
A respectable lunatic
She/her
SheSaidSarcastically on Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheSaidSarcastically/works
Sci-fi🌌 fantasy👿 D&D nerd🐉
#Reylo 🦋 + other ADCU ships
Owned by 2 cats and a dog
Really have to scroll in the birth year drop-down
Posts Replies Media Videos
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Drunk
T - 1/1
CW: drunkenness, mentions of alcohol

Rey gets drunk and reveals things she probably didn’t mean to

Written for @reyloffanth.bsky.social November Flash Fiction Challenge

archiveofourown.org/works/739590...
Rendering of a conference room on a spaceship. The walls and floor are grey, the long table and chairs in the centre of the room are black. Through windows on the back wall, part of a blue planet is visible
November 21, 2025 at 5:08 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Sleepy Time Tea

M - 1/1
Mild injury, hurt/comfort

Rey gets a mild burn. Ben insists on taking care of her

Written for @reyloffanth.bsky.social November Flash Fiction Challenge

#reylo #reylofic

archiveofourown.org/works/739590...
Photograph of a kitchen at night. The cabinets and walls are white, with a grey floor and backsplash over the oven
November 19, 2025 at 11:13 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Kyber

M - 1/1
CW: Kidnapping, implied violence

Kylo gets Rey a gift

Written for @reyloffanth.bsky.social November Flash Fiction Challenge

#reylo #reylofic

archiveofourown.org/works/739590...
Illustration of Kylo Ren's red lightsaber
November 17, 2025 at 11:35 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofic #reyloprompts
Film still from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. The Millennium Falcon sits in a clearing, surrounded by trees with boxes and equipment littering the ground Thick green foliage conceals her from the people crisscrossing the temporary camp set up just beyond the trees. The unlit hilt of her saber trembles in her hand. Fear is not what makes her vibrate, though. No, it's excitement that has adrenaline rushing through her veins. Finally, finally her Master has brought her with him on a mission. And not just any mission, either. This is an important operation to retrieve a wayfinder from the clutches of the Resistance scum. She will do anything to prove that he was right to pluck her from the barren wastes of Jakku, no matter how strenuously she fought him at the time. She's desperate to make him proud. Bouncing on her toes, Rey forces herself not to charge headlong into the clearing. She's constantly being chastised for her lack of patience. An amused, vocoder muffled chuckle sounds behind her. "Go on, sweetling," Master Ren encourages. "Have fun."
November 16, 2025 at 6:07 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Cheeky
M - 1/1
325 words
CW: Alcohol, Daddy Kink, Subspace

Rey meets a hot older guy at a bar

Written for the @reyloffanth.bsky.social November Flash Fiction Challenge

archiveofourown.org/works/739590...
Photograph of a man working behind a bar. We can see the wooden bar top and rows of bottles of alcohol lining the back wall. The room is dimly lit, with only some hanging lamps and lights illuminating the bottles lighting the scene.
November 14, 2025 at 11:12 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Over my neighbourhood rn
Photograph of the night sky with bright pink and green northern lights. The black silhouette of bare tree branches frame the image on the left side and bottom Photograph of the night sky with pink and green northern lights seen through the bare branches of trees
November 12, 2025 at 5:35 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Bite
E -1/1
450 words
CW: biting kink, minor violence, sexual content

Rey is angry
Kylo lets her take it out on him

Written for the @reyloffanth.bsky.social November Flash Fiction Challenge

archiveofourown.org/works/739590...
Up close photograph of a woman's mouth biting down on a man's fingers
November 12, 2025 at 1:40 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Farmer's Market

M - 1/1
older woman/younger man

When Rey runs into her ex and his new girlfriend at the Farmer’s Market, her much younger neighbour sees it as his chance to play knight-in-shining-tattoos

For @reyloffanth.bsky.social Flash Fic Challenge

archiveofourown.org/works/739590...
Photograph of a man's tattooed arm, reaching out with his hand holding on to the hem at the back of a woman's jeans
November 10, 2025 at 1:25 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
nowhere left to run

Clydephee
E - 1/1
Mind the tags

It’s unfortunate for the teenagers that their car broke down in his territory.

Good for him though. It’s been a while since he’s had the chance to hunt humans. He’s been getting restless.

#Reyloween

archiveofourown.org/works/73479246
Close-up black and white photograph of a large grizzly bear with a scar across his muzzle staring directly into the camera
November 1, 2025 at 3:19 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Talk to Me, Girl

M - 1/1

The digital assistant Rey is beta testing is so much more human than she ever expected. He’s not just an AI chatbot, he’s a friend.

Kylo will do anything to make her happy.

Anything at all.

archiveofourown.org/works/73402141

#Reyloween #reylofic
Moodboard for SheSaidSarcastically's Talk to Me, Girl, Close up photograph of a red, black, and gold computer chip with white text on top
October 30, 2025 at 11:27 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Tall and broad, with windswept black hair. Beautiful, she can't help but notice. He's dressed oddly. Some kind of long, belted tunic and tall leather boots. And a cape thing with a hood. Cowl? She's doesn't know the terminology. All of it in foreboding black. It looks good on him, though. The coffee shop is just a few blocks down from the Convention Centre, so it's not unusual for Con goers to come in. Maybe he's some kind of cosplayer? But she didn't see any other cosplayers today, so probably just a crazy person. "I'm sorry, sir, we're closed," she tries to keep her voice firm and not let on how freaked out she is. "Rey," he repeats. Relief, and joy, mixed with something darker, something possessive, colour his tone. No one has ever said her name like that. "Sir, I-" "Kylo." "W-what?" "My name is Kylo." It rings in her head like a bell. The stranger's got her pinned up against the bakery case, the chill of the glass seeping into her spine. It's a stark contrast to the heat of his body at her front. This close she can see that his eyes are a unique shade of molten gold, nearly glowing in the low light. He's looking at her like she is the sun, and he's spent centuries in the dark. Raising his hands, he tenderly cups her face between them, long calloused fingers slipping into her hair. It should be terrifying. She should be knocking him on his ass, but she finds instead that his touch inexplicably soothes the rapid beat of her heart. "Finally found you, sweetheart. Took so long, but I never gave up on discovering a way to get to you," his gaze rakes greedily over her face. "Gods, you're so beautiful. I always thought so, from the moment I first saw you on Takodana Yes, a crazy person. Never mind all the nonsensical bits, only someone entirely out of their mind would find her beautiful in her coffee stained apron, hair falling out of a messy bun, and dark circles under her eyes from the exhaustion induced by a double shift. "We've never met before. I don't know you," admittedly, she's not great with faces, but she wouldn't forget him. He's the most memorable person she's ever encountered. Reverently, he murmurs, "You did. And you will." "I don't understand," she whimpers, helpless. "I didn't save you. Her. I didn't save her," his looks so haunted that she has the irrational urge to comfort him. But then his golden eyes harden, determination taking over his features. "But that won't happen again. I've grown so much stronger now." He lets his forehead drop to hers, nuzzles their noses together. "I'll keep you safe this time, sweetheart, I promise." She must be going crazy, too, because there is a not insignificant part of her that wishes this wasn't just a delusion. That this odd man truly cared for her so much. Before she can argue with him further, Kylo straightens up, keeping his hold on her face. "We're running out of time. I'll explain everything once I get you home, my love." He strokes his thumbs softly over her temples, and the world goes black.
October 25, 2025 at 12:22 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
A TRoS fix-it adjacent fic based on #Reyloween prompt 24 - Multiverse

#TheHuntForBenSolo #pcrf
Film still from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, of Adam Driver as Kylo Ren in the forest of Takodana Dimming the overhead lights, Rey changes the music coming over the speakers from the company mandated soft rock playlist to her favourite true crime podcast. Finn insisted she wait until he left to make the switch, claiming that her "unhinged" listening habits cause him nightmares. The jerk gives her a hard time even when she's finishing closing all on her own just so he can go on a date with his new boyfriend. Lucky he's cute or she wouldn't bother to put up with him. She winds around the shop, wiping down tables and clearing stray ceramic mugs, so swept up in the details of the Colonel Russel Williams case that she misses the sound of the locked front door opening. " Rey. She whirls to face the intruder, dropping one of the mugs to the tile floor in her surprise. He doesn't flinch at the crash, doesn't take his eyes off of her face as he strides farther into the cafe.
October 25, 2025 at 12:22 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Bad Medicine

E - 1/1
A/B/O
Mind the tags

Alpha Kylo can’t accept that his sweet little personal assistant is a beta.

And with the help of a black market drug, he doesn’t have to.

#Reyloween #reylofic

archiveofourown.org/works/72787261
Mood board for SheSaidSarcastically's Reylo fic Bad Medicine. Photograph of a glass vial full of a clear liquid with an eye dropper mixing in a dark blue fluid.
October 20, 2025 at 1:03 AM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
This is Cooper. Maybe he could be wearing a space suit?
October 19, 2025 at 4:57 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofics #dyadprompts
Close-up, slightly blurry photograph of a window, with the pane slid open half-way. Through the window there are some bushes. Beyond them are a farmer's field bordered by dark green pine trees, shrouded in grey mist under a grey sky "Jesus Christ," Ben curses, crossing the room to place her water bottle on the nightstand next to her side of the bed. "It's freezing in here." Rey grabs his arm when he makes to pull down the wide open window, "No, leave it." This earns her an incredulous look, "Baby, it's like minus five outside. ." "I know," she sighs, sinking down further under their ridiculously soft comforter. "It's perfect." "I don't understand, you hate being cold," he gets under the blankets, sliding across the Egyptian cotton sheets decorated with autumn leaves until his body is curled around hers. "You're always complaining that you have to wear sweaters even in the summer because of the AC in your office. "That's completely different. Offices should be a reasonable temperature," she scoffs. "But bedrooms shouldn't?" "Exactly! The bedroom should be cold so that you can get warm under the covers." He bops her affectionately on the nose, "That makes no sense." "It does!" "Nope, not even a little bit." She's quite for a moment, not meeting his eyes, then whispers, "The nights in the Jakku desert got so, so cold and I never had enough blankets." Then a soft smile breaks across her face, "But our bed always does. Plus," she pulls his arm around her waist. "I have you now, my very own ginormous hot water bottle." Ben tightens his arm, drawing her further into his body. He lays a line of kisses down her throat. Slipping his hand under the waist band of her flannel pajama pants he murmurs, "That's right, baby, I'lI keep you warm."
October 14, 2025 at 10:21 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofic #reyloprompts
Close-up photograph of a woman with short brunette hair, wearing a white top and pants twirling on a city street. His Rey is a woman of limitless skills and talents. Holding her liquor is not one of them. Spilling down the apartment steps out onto the sidewalk, she giggles as she rebounds off of one the towering trees lining the boulevard. "Oops, sorry," she apologizes the centuries old oak sincerely. Her words are only a little bit slurred. "I'm sure it will survive," Ben tells her, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady as they head to the car. "I hope so. That was so fun wasn't it? Parties are fun." Every introverted bone Ben's body disagrees, but he doesn't dare say so out loud. "They are. Finn and Poe's new place is nice." Breaking free of his hold, she spreads her arms and twirls, skirt floating up around her thighs. "Sooooooo nice! That living room is amaz-" A crack in the sidewalk nearly sends her tumbling to the ground. "Okay, you've lost walking privileges," he announces, scooping her up and settling her against one hip, supporting her with a hand under her ass. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she gently pokes his cheek with a purple-tipped index finger, "You're my favourite." He keeps walking, "Oh yeah? Favourite what? Mode of transportation?" She lays her head on his shoulder, rubbing her face against the softness of his sweater like an affectionate cat. "Everything," she sighs. "Ben is my favourite everything." Unbidden tears well up in his eyes. He had learned quickly that in the hierarchy of his family, he ranked last. And he had stopped trying to change that a long time ago. To be the favourite of someone as extraordinary as Rey is more than he has dared to hope for. Dipping his head, he presses a lingering kiss to her hair, "You're my favourite everything, too, sweetheart."
October 13, 2025 at 9:05 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Bleeding Heart

E - 1/1
Vampire Kylo, baby vampire Rey
CW: violence and gore

On a night out, Kylo runs into a starved little fledgling

He decides to help her get what she needs

#Reyloween #reylo #reylofic

archiveofourown.org/works/72253311
Moodboard for SheSaidSarcastically's fic Bleeding Heart. An anatomically correct heart is outlined in neon red, set against a black and red background, with the title and author in red cursive text
October 10, 2025 at 9:17 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Gods' Image

E - 1/1
Breylo
Mind the tags

If Rey had known the consequences of getting the symbol of the twin hunting gods tattooed on her body as part of her dissertation research, she might have chosen differently.

Then again, maybe not.

#Reyloween #reylo

archiveofourown.org/works/72078906
Moodboard for SheSaidSarcastically's Breylo fic Gods' Image. In the centre is a black and white drawing of a tattoo depicting two tigers and a leopard hunting two deer, set against a white background with a pattern of light grey dots forming concentric circles.
October 7, 2025 at 8:07 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofic #reyloprompts

CW: NSFW, werewolf bestiality
Painting of a black wolf, with it's mouth open, bright pink tongue hanging out, with a woman's hand reaching out to touch it's tongue Kylo finds her curled up with a book in front of the lit fireplace, looking so ethereally beautiful in the warm, flickering light that it makes his chest ache. Flinging himself down into her lap, he heaves a contented sigh. The heavenly feel of her fingers carding through the thick fur at his ruff causes him to melt even further into her. "You should be out there, running in the woods, " she gestures to the dark silhouettes of trees visible through the living room window. That earns her an incredulous snort. "Seriously, babe, there's no reason for you to stay in tonight. I'll be fine without you for a few measly hours. 99 He makes no movement except to nuzzle his cheek against her tummy. "You're utterly ridiculous," Rey declares, but she doesn't stop petting him, so she can't be that annoyed. As if he'd ever leave his pupped mate alone and vulnerable during the full moon, when there's no telling what's lurking out in those woods. They only learned the happy news that Rey is in her first trimester a couple of days ago, and Kylo can admit it's made him a tad... clingy. He's never been accused of being chill, but this revelation has only made him more intense, ratcheting up his anxiety whenever Rey is out of his sight. Really, how could it not? The responsibility to protect the both of them falls on him, and he takes that duty very seriously. Still, it won't do to have his sweet little mate upset with him. Shifting down her body, he brushes aside the frilly hem of her nightgown. He presses his nose to her clit and laps at the gusset of her panties, the lace rough under the broad sweep of his tongue. Smug satisfaction rolls through him when she starts to squirm against his muzzle. He'll make her come a few times just like this, then take her to bed and tie her up on his knot. Maybe then she'll agree that it's better spend the full moon at home.
October 6, 2025 at 10:09 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
Altar

T
1/1
Rey senses something strange while taking a tour of an ancient cathedral
#Reyloween

archiveofourown.org/works/71662676
Photograph of the chancel of a Romanesque grey stone church. A few steps lead up to a stone altar underneath a ciborium, flanked by tall candelabras.
October 1, 2025 at 5:33 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofic #reyloprompts
Photograph of a book thrown into the air, its pages spread out like a fan, set against a blue background "Give it back!" True to character, instead of following her order Ben just holds the book even higher over his head. "Not until you agree to go out with me, Nima," he taunts with a winsome grin. Oh, he thinks he's so charming. And dammit, he's not entirely wrong, she thinks, eyeing the dark lock of hair curling across his forehead. She'll chew glass before she tells him that though. If she thought he was really serious, she might consider it. But there's no way the Rey nobody is more than mere amusement for the Prince of Chandrila High. "In your dreams, Solo." Instantly his gaze turns molten. He keeps her Physics textbook out of reach, but lowers his head towards her. "I'll tell you all about the things we do in my dreams, baby. The way you whimper my name. How pretty you look while I- Rey slams her boot down on his stupidly large foot. The sound of her book crashing to the floor is rivaled only by the volume of his pained howl.
September 26, 2025 at 8:33 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
"That still doesn't explain why you decided to take the risk of coming to Chandrila." "Sheev would never expect me to come here precisely because it's so dangerous. It's the perfect place to hide." Her elfin face scrunches up in irritation. "Or at least it was, until someone ratted me out." He takes a moment to enjoy watching her plot a murder, before bringing her attention back to the matter at hand, plans whirring in his head. Instead of losing her, this could be the thing he uses to finally bind her to him. "It's not only dangerous for you, Rey. Now that you've been discovered, it is only a matter of time before Sheev finds out, and he'll claim that I stole you. If I don't return you, he will use this as an opportunity to declare the war he's been so eager to start. And the other families will support him." For the first time, she seems afraid, which is kind of insulting given that he's got her locked in a basement. "Please, I didn't mean to cause you trouble. If you just let me go, I'll leave Chandrila tonight, and never come back." Shaking his head before she even finishes her sentence, he tells her sombrely, "Word could still get back to your grandfather that I let you go. No, bunny, there's only one way forward now." Eyes wide, she watches him slide to his knees in front of her and flick open a switch blade with a practiced motion. With a tender touch, he holds her wrist still while he cuts the rope away. He may have disavowed his family long ago, but his aristocratic blood won't let him do this with his girl tied to a chair. Once she's free, he keeps hold of her wrists, gently stroking the abraded skin with his thumbs. Kylo lets his voice drop low and intimate, "No matter where you go, your grandfather has a claim on you, one the other families will help enforce. I know, I know, it's not fair," he soothes when her expression flares with indignation. "But if you become my wife, that claim goes away. You can stay in Chandrila, and I can protect you, ," he grins at her. "You'll even have the power to make some of those changes to the way I run things you've been harping me about." There's a pretty pink flush on her cheeks, but her gaze is calculating. Good. She's not rejecting him outright. "Let me take care of you, sweetheart," he murmurs, pressing a lingering kiss to her rabbit-quick pulse. "Let me help you get revenge Her body cants towards his, "You'd help me kill him?" This time his smile is wide enough to show his dimples, "It would be my honour. Rey studies his face for a long moment, then nods decisively. "Okay. I accept. Joy and triumph surge through his body, compelling him to tangle one hand in her hair and set the other at the small of her back, using his hold to draw her down into his lap, eliciting an adorable squeak from her. "Good bunny," he growls, then captures her lips with own. He should go slow, be romantic, he thinks. But he's wanted her so desperately for so long that his self-control is in shreds. And, God, she's so sweet. Her taste, her scent, the little whimpers she can't hold back when he bites gently on her lower lip then sweeps his tongue into her mouth. Every bit of his girl is sweeter than honey. Kylo forces himself to pull away from her before he entirely loses his mind and takes her right there on the dusty floor. He helps her stand, and guides her to the door. Phasma opens at his knock. He doesn't give his second-in-command a chance to comment on the sight of Rey's hand enfolded in his much larger one. "Go wake up Father Moretti," he directs his order to the statuesque blonde without looking away from his little bride. "Tell him he has a wedding to officiate."
September 22, 2025 at 11:01 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofic #reyloprompts
Photograph of a man seated on a chair, at the end of a dark hallway. The room behind him is lit with a bright orange-tinged light. His unbridled fury doesn't stop his heart from breaking at the sight of her, trussed to a chair, cloth gag stifling her attempts to yell at him. Not that it would matter if she did yell. The windowless, cinder block room is deep underground. She could scream her head off, and no one would be able to hear. It is very, very difficult to keep the storm of emotions roiling through him off of his face as approaches her. Unbuttoning his suit jacket purely so that she can the pistol holstered at his side, he tugs the gag down, and settles into the metal chair across from her. Questions and demands spill out of her mouth the instant the white cloth is removed. He stems their flow with a simple, "Quiet, Rey." It's a much colder tone than he's ever taken with her before, but it's the use of her name-her real name, that renders her silent. Leaning forwards, he meets her eyes, lets her see the threat burning within his own, "It is unusually reckless of Sheev to send such a valuable asset into enemy territory as a spy. He had to know no matter how reclusive, his granddaughter could only play the cute little bartender for so long before being recognized." He brushes his thumb along the freckles standing out on her pale cheek, making her flinch, "The question now is how best to use you." There's fire in her spring green eyes when she snarls, "I'm not a spy." Betrayal burns like acid in the back of his throat. When 'Kira' had arrived in his city, so very lost and alone, he had looked out for her-arranging a job at one of his bars, and securing an apartment in a safe neighbourhood. Instructed his men kept an eye on her. Not that she is aware of any of this. He made sure to be discreet about his interventions into her life. And the whole time she has been working against him on behalf of her grandfather. "No more lies, Rey," he spits her name like a curse. "I'm not lying! I'm not working for Sheev," she fights against her ties, the coarse rope turning her wrists an angry red, and even now he has the mad desire to untie her and soothe the abraded skin with his tongue. To hide this softness he didn't know existed before she appeared, he bares his teeth at her in a rictus grin, "Tell me then, sweetheart, what is the Palpatine Princess is doing in my domain?" She deflates a little, "I ran away." "Oh? And just what was it that sent you running, bunny?" Voice choked with tears, she whispers, "I found proof that he killed them. He killed my parents." Kylo sucks in a sharp breath. The anguish on her face is too raw for him to doubt her. Rumours about Palpatine's involvement in his son and daughter-in-law's disappearances have circulated for years, but the old man's chokehold on the police force meant no real investigation was ever done.
September 22, 2025 at 11:01 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
#reylo #reylofic #reyloprompts
A tall glass full of black berries, with one on a fork being held above the glass, set against a solid red background Rey keeps "sneaking" the blackberries they spent hours picking under the warm autumn sun. "If you keep eating those, there won't be any left to decorate the cake you worked so hard on," he admonishes gently. "I don't know what you're talking about." she lies with an impish grin. The juice from the ripe berries has stained the tips of her fingers, dyed her lips and tongue a wine-dark purple. The sight drives him more than a little crazy. So he simply has no choice but to lift her up on the counter, step between her spread thighs and kiss her senseless-never mind their friends in the dining room, waiting on their promised dessert. "Of course you don't, little thief," he murmurs into her mouth.
September 19, 2025 at 9:33 PM
shesaidsarcasticly.bsky.social
For my final #reyloficit I vote we all forget TROS and accept broomclosetkink's "for you I would (rearrange the stars) as canon

archiveofourown.org/works/379048...
Image of a bright green star with black text reading "A canonverse fic" set against a white background
September 15, 2025 at 7:11 PM