Riot Shalkar
@shalkar.dev
Gamer, humanist and fitness enthusiast. Director of Shitposting Operations, Riot Games. If you can't handle me at my Oppenheimer, you don't deserve me at my Barbie.
Gonna call it "dysphotoria"
May 31, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Gonna call it "dysphotoria"
Somehow, Gulp Shitto has returned.
March 5, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Somehow, Gulp Shitto has returned.
"come" as in orgasm? Your kid doesn't need to know that tbh
February 28, 2025 at 12:36 AM
"come" as in orgasm? Your kid doesn't need to know that tbh
But Black Dynamite, WE sell drugs to the community.gif
February 7, 2025 at 9:42 PM
But Black Dynamite, WE sell drugs to the community.gif
It existed since the earliest hominids thought "but... What about this OTHER rock?"
February 7, 2025 at 9:39 PM
It existed since the earliest hominids thought "but... What about this OTHER rock?"
Public speaking is easy: just imagine you're trying to convince a large group of cats that queuing for food in an orderly fashion is the bedrock of civilised society
February 7, 2025 at 9:38 PM
Public speaking is easy: just imagine you're trying to convince a large group of cats that queuing for food in an orderly fashion is the bedrock of civilised society
It was during confession and every time he asked me a question I asked him about known incidents of violence, corruption or sinful behaviour by local priests and other church personnel. When I asked him if he was in fact the priest who tried to glass a colleague over missing poor box cash, he swung
January 11, 2025 at 12:37 AM
It was during confession and every time he asked me a question I asked him about known incidents of violence, corruption or sinful behaviour by local priests and other church personnel. When I asked him if he was in fact the priest who tried to glass a colleague over missing poor box cash, he swung
Counterpoint: I've managed to be so annoying in such a debate that a priest threw a punch at me. I'd sharpen that advice to "don't try to debate them IN GOOD FAITH" because they will never play in good faith, so why should you?
January 8, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Counterpoint: I've managed to be so annoying in such a debate that a priest threw a punch at me. I'd sharpen that advice to "don't try to debate them IN GOOD FAITH" because they will never play in good faith, so why should you?
Go with the secular "scooby dooby dhuit" instead
January 8, 2025 at 12:59 PM
Go with the secular "scooby dooby dhuit" instead
I'm pretty sure this is because planes are a lot faster than cars. I could be wrong though
December 18, 2024 at 4:57 PM
I'm pretty sure this is because planes are a lot faster than cars. I could be wrong though
We should collectively abbreviated the department of government efficiency as DGE or DoE just to ruin his stupid acronym
December 6, 2024 at 4:26 PM
We should collectively abbreviated the department of government efficiency as DGE or DoE just to ruin his stupid acronym
I would like to smell all of them please!
December 6, 2024 at 4:14 PM
I would like to smell all of them please!
🎶 Phone is beeping in the next room
Jack Frost sending you a text 🎵
Jack Frost sending you a text 🎵
December 6, 2024 at 12:32 PM
🎶 Phone is beeping in the next room
Jack Frost sending you a text 🎵
Jack Frost sending you a text 🎵
Bots are starting to make captchas that only make sense for other bots. So it begins.
December 4, 2024 at 9:59 AM
Bots are starting to make captchas that only make sense for other bots. So it begins.
I call it "noodle arms". They feel heavy and awkward and like I need to swing them from the shoulder to get anything done. It's very odd
November 10, 2024 at 10:33 PM
I call it "noodle arms". They feel heavy and awkward and like I need to swing them from the shoulder to get anything done. It's very odd
Next he's gonna be calling a fish "swim-illiterate".
October 28, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Next he's gonna be calling a fish "swim-illiterate".
He's gonna fuck the planet.
October 27, 2024 at 11:05 AM
He's gonna fuck the planet.
What about "Invigorating spanking"? Asking for my memoir
October 27, 2024 at 11:04 AM
What about "Invigorating spanking"? Asking for my memoir
What in the star-spangled-titties am I watching?
October 18, 2024 at 4:06 AM
What in the star-spangled-titties am I watching?