The Embodiment of The Paradox of Tolerance
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seltsamerweise.bsky.social
The Embodiment of The Paradox of Tolerance
@seltsamerweise.bsky.social
1.3K followers 1.2K following 3.1K posts
Minnesota transplant. Beard appreciator (moustache envier).

I HAD A DOCTORATE IN INDUSTRIAL/ORGANIZATIONAL PSYCHOLOGY BUT ON JULY 1ST 2024 I BARGAINED AWAY MY KNOWLEDGE FOR MADNESS AND A VARIETY OF SILLY COSTUMES AND I HAVE YET TO REGRET THIS EXCHANGE.
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seltsamerweise.bsky.social
HOORAY FOR CONTEXT CLUES!
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARMS, AND IT'S GIVING US ALL ITS BEST THUMB FOR ENCOURAGEMENT! MORE DESCRIPTIVELY, IT IS ONE OF THE LEAST MELANIN-INFUSED FOREARMS YOU ARE LIKELY TO SEE - EVEN IN MINNESOTA - PARTIALLY ENSCONCED IN AN ORANGE FLEECE FLANNEL THAT IS JUST LOVELY FOR AUTUMN DAYS. IN THE BACKGROUND YOU CAN SEE A COMPOSITE WOOD DOOR THAT... WELL, IT ACCOMPLISHES ITS FUNCTION AS A DOOR, WHICH IS REALLY ALL ANYONE SHOULD BE ASKING OF A DOOR.
November 14, 2025 at 6:22 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
Hey @whitehouse.senate.gov did you just affirm unanimous consent for the continuing resolution you said you didn't support?

You know, the thing you voted No to put after such a Herculean effort couldn't be assed even to delay it in the senate?

Always a pleasure to see you all fighting united.
FOR THE UNINITIATED, THIS IS THE GOOSE CHASE MEME. TWO PANELS. THE FIRST PANEL CONTAINS A VERY SKEPTICAL GOOSE WITH THE TEXT, "WHY ARE THERE INTERNAL RECRIMINATIONS, SHELDON?" THE SECOND PANEL UPS THE ANTE. NOW THE GOOSE APPEARS AGITATED (AT BEST). THE GOOSE HAS EITHER ENTERED INTO A FOOTRACE, OR, MORE LIKELY, IS ATTEMPTING TO BITE THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF HUMAN WHO IS FLEEING THE GOOSE. THE HUMAN FLEES WITH GOOD REASON, AS THE GOOD APPEARS TO BE SCREAMING WITH INEXHAUSTIBLE RAGE. WHAT IS THE CONTENT OF THE GOOSE'S SCREAM, YOU ASK? "WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE RECRIMINATIONS, SHELDON?" IS THE GOOSE'S VERY REASONABLE QUESTION.
November 11, 2025 at 12:06 AM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
Hypnotoad is neutral evil. Law and chaos both serve at the whim of Hypnotoad.
IT'S HYPNOTOAD, FROM THAT SHOW YOU LIKE! HIS EYES OSCILLATE WITH THE FREQUENCY OF OBEDIENCE, AND NO ONE HAS EVER REPORTED HIM BLINKING.
October 11, 2025 at 1:43 AM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
Agreed!

And yikes.

Here's a thunderegg agate to help you through it:
NON-SIGHTED FOLKS, I'M SORRY. THIS IS GONNA BE A TOUGH ONE. IT'S A THUNDER-EGG AGATE, WHICH MEANS AS LITTLE TO ME AS IT PROBABLY DOES TO YOU. ITS CORE IS CLOSE TO A ROBIN'S EGG BLUE, WITH A DARKER BLUE BORDER. BEYOND THAT, IT HAS COLORED STRIATIONS, RANGING FROM AN ARRAY OF BROWNS TO A SEPARATE SET OF THE SAME BLUES REFERENCED EARLIER. THAT'S NOT THE POINT, THOUGH. NO, THE POINT IS THIS: THE CORE HAS A MOUTH-SHAPED GAP, AND TWO PERFECTLY PLACED OCCLUSIONS THAT LOOK LIKE EYEBALLS. SO, YOU GET A PRETTY ROCK THAT HAS AN EASILY IDENTIFIABLE SHIT-EATING, UNHINGED GRIN. I'M DOING MY BEST, BUT THIS MIGHT BE ONE OF THOSE TIMES WHERE USING YOUR IMAGINATION MIGHT BE THE MOST EXPEDIENT ROUTE. UNLESS YOU SUFFER FROM CORTICAL BLINDNESS, IN WHICH CASE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU OTHER THAN THIS ROCK MAY NOT BRING YOU THE HAPPINESS IT BROUGHT ME AND FOR THAT I AM SORRY.
October 6, 2025 at 5:06 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
HELL FUCKING YES!

I HOPE YOU GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO RELAX EVEN HARDER!
LOOK. THIS IS THUMBUS. HE'S A LITTLE KID WEARING GREYISH PANTS, A LIGHT BLUE SHIRT WITH DARK BLUE SUSPENDERS. THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. WHAT'S REALLY TYING THE LOOK TOGETHER IS A BRIGHT ORANGE BOWTIE THAT THUMBUS IS ROCKING. SURE, HE ALSO HAS GLASSES, BUT IT'S THE BOWTIE THAT'S DOING THE WORK HERE. MORE TO THE POINT, HE'S HOLDING ONE OF HIS FAVORITE HANDS ALOFT, THUMB EXTENDED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT WHATEVER ANTIFASCIST THING YOU'RE DOING... HE'S VERY MUCH IN SUPPORT OF IT. MAN, THUMBUS IS AN OKAY DUDE.
September 20, 2025 at 1:30 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
AND ALSO HERE IS A PICTURE OF A CUTE BAT TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY.
IT IS AN CUTE BAT ENSCONCED WITHIN AN OFF-WHITE TOWEL AND HE AND OR SHE IS THE BEST BOY AND OR GIRL AND THEY'RE NOSE IS IN THE SHAPE OF THE KINDS OF NOSES THAT MOST HUMANS ENJOY RATHER THAN THE OTHER KIND OF NOSE WHICH I THINK IS STILL ADORABLE BUT OTHER PEOPLE FIND A HORROR SHOW OF REPELLENT BATNESS.
September 18, 2025 at 2:50 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
A metaphor might help to see what is at stake. Think of the executive branch before January 2025 as an aquarium in which various agency fishes were swimming around acting like a government. Trump inserted a blender into the fish tank because he asserted that he has the constitutional power to create fish soup. It matters if the court allows the blender to be turned on while it decides the legal question of whether the Constitution permits the president to make fish soup. Though it’s easy to turn an aquarium into fish soup, the reverse operation is impossible. So, the allowing Trump to turn the blender on while waiting for an answer about the soup decides the case.
July 15, 2025 at 3:38 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
BART SIMPSON IS FRANTICALLY PULLING DOWN HIS SHIRT TO COVER HIS DENUDED UNDERCARRIAGE. HE CRIES, "THIS IS THE WORST SUPREME COURT DECISION OF TRUMP'S 2ND TERM." IN A PANEL BELOW THE FIRST, HOMER SIMPSON, YOUNG BART'S FATHER, SMILINGLY CORRECTS HIS ONLY SON: "THE WORST DECISION SO FAR," HE REMINDS BART.
June 24, 2025 at 7:43 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
YOU TAKE THAT BACK CHUCK TINGLE WOULD NEVER
"NOT POUNDED AT THE LAST SECOND BECAUSE CONSENT CAN BE GIVEN AND REVOKED AT ANY MOMENT AND THIS IS A WONDERFUL THING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND" "FROM TWO TIME HUGO AWARD FINALIST CHUCK TINGLE"
May 28, 2025 at 2:55 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
ALSO IN THIS FIGHTING HYPOTHETICAL I AM A MACROPINNA MICROSTOMA
MY GOD IT'S A MACROPINNA MICROSTOMA SOME KIND OF FISHY-FISH WITH TRANSPARENCY WHERE OTHER BEINGS HAVE SKULLS NO THOSE ROUNDED LOBES AREN'T ITS BRAINS THEY'RE JUST REGULAR PHOTORECEPTORS LIKE ALL FISHES WHO RELY ON LIGHT FOR LIVING POSSESS IN SOME VARIETY BUT MAN THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE TO IMAGINE THIS THING FROM JUST THIS TEXT ARE IN FOR AN ADVENTURE BECAUSE WORDS ARE NOT SUFFICIENT FOR THIS BEING
May 12, 2025 at 9:45 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
THE SHAPE OF A BULL TERRIER'S HEAD IS AN ABOMINATION AND THE BREED SHOULD BE OUTLAWED ON THAT BASIS ALONE I DON'T CARE IF THEIR BARKS CURE CANCER I HATE THEIR SKULLS MORE THAN I WANT WORLD PEACE AND A STAR TREK FUTURE FOR HUMANITY
GOD DAMNIT IT'S A BULL TERRIER IN SIDE PROFILE AND THAT HIDEOUS SKULL SHAPE IS MAKING ITSELF KNOWN IN ALL OF THE WORST WAYS WHICH IS ALL OF THE WAYS BECAUSE IT IS A HORRIBLE SHAPE FOR ANY SKULL TO BE CERTAINLY IT SHOULD NOT BE ATTACHED TO WHAT IS OTHERWISE A FINE DOG TORSO AND LEGS I DON'T CARE IF THAT SHAPE IS THE ABSOLUTE SCIENTIFIC BEST IN THE UNIVERSE FOR RATTING OR VERMIN HUNTING IT IS THAT WHICH SHOULD NOT BE.
May 2, 2025 at 9:32 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
Uh, I think that I might have contributed a bit to this turn of events. I found out about HF 3219 yesterday and decided to just haul off via email on the sponsors.

If folks have a good meta-analysis on mRNA vaccine side effects please let me know; I'm sending a follow-up email soon.
To the state representatives responsible for HF 3219: Please tell me why you insist on this non-scientific bullshit. Within five minutes of learning about the contents of your legislation, I pulled up a meta-analysis on the vaccine effectiveness against hospitalization for COVID mRNA vaccines. (It's attached, with some highlighted bits for those of you who can't read scientific articles.) That effectiveness value? Oh, it's around 80% - so your bill is designed to make criminal a scientific achievement that reduces hospitalizations from COVID by approximately eighty-motherfucking-percent. Maybe that wasn't your intent, because none of you decided that consulting with actual scientific experts was necessary when legislating science. If that's the case, here's a quick article from the World Health Organization to clear things up. https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/vaccine-efficacy-effectiveness-and-protection https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/vaccine-efficacy-effectiveness-and-protection In the last of my good faith, I will expect you all to retract this bill within the next 48 hours with a public apology for wildly misrepresenting the science in ways that will demonstrably harm your own constituents. However, I doubt that the collection of all you is that cartoonishly uninformed. No, you have at least an inkling that legislating away mRNA vaccines isn't sound medical advice; you just don't care. That's why I've included the legislative assistant of MY representative, Rep. Leigh Finke on this email. I trust that Representative Finke and her staff will be able to take up the cause of calling out each of you, individually, for this naked attack on Minnesotans.
April 23, 2025 at 10:20 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
PYGMY JERBOAS HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DEFEAT CHUCK SCHUMER IN UNARMED COMBAT
IT'S A PYGMY JERBOA IT HAS TINY LITTLE ARMS AND WILDLY EXTENDED ANKLES IT WEIGHS JUST OVER 3 GRAMS AND CAN EASILY DEFEAT CHUCK SCHUMER IN UNARMED COMBAT.
April 4, 2025 at 5:31 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
STONKS!
IT'S AN IMAGE OF THE STONK MARKET ON THE MORNING OF APRIL FOURTH, 2025. ALSO KNOWN AS LIBERATION DAY PLUS TWO. AS YOU'VE PROBABLY GATHERED, THE STONKS HAVE CONTINUED TO PLUMMET, SO STONKS APPARENTLY TEND TO DO WHEN A MAD KING SAYS THAT THE WORLD MUST BURN. I HATE THIS REALITY SO MUCH. OH, RIGHT. I ADDED SOME EXTRA EDITORIAL TEXT TO THE GRAPHIC, WHICH READS, "THIS IS GREAT, RIGHT? LIKE, THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT WE WERE ALL HOPING WOULD HAPPEN? NO? OH, IT'S WHAT EVERYONE WITH EVEN THE MOST RUDIMENTARY RELATION WITH REALITY SAID WOULD HAPPEN." I STAND BY THESE WORDS. I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO STAND BY THEM AS WELL. ALSO, IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO DO SO I WOULD BUY SOME NON-PERISHABLE FOODS LIKE RICE AND BEANS. BUY A LOT OF THEM, BECAUSE YOUR NON-FUCKWIT NEIGHBORS MAY NOT BE ABLE TO AFFORD TO DO SO. ANYWAY, GOOD LUCK, AMERICA.
April 4, 2025 at 1:39 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
@sarahmackattack.bsky.social

I didn't see who initially reposted this on my feed and my very first thought was, "I can't wait to show Sarah this!"

Now, without any flavor of embarrassment known to humankind, here's a feather star:
IT IS KNOWN AS A FEATHER STAR, AND IT IS AN UNDERWATER BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL MINUS THE HUNDREDS OF EYES AND THE ABILITY TO DECLAIM TRUTHS TO VIRGINS SO LESS BIBLICALLY ACCURATE THAN I HAD ORIGINALLY STATED. WIKIPEDIA WOULD LIKE YOU TO CALL THEM CRINOIDS, AND WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT THEIR MOUTH AND ANUS ARE BOTH LOCATED ON THE UPPER SIDE OF THE THECA. MAKE OF THIS WHAT YOU WILL.
March 26, 2025 at 2:42 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
IT IS A RARE DAY WHEN I AM ANGRIER THAN MADELINE KAHN YET HERE WE ARE
IT IS DARLING OF STAGE AND SCREEN MADELINE KAHN IN THE CULT CLASSIC CLUE AND SHE IS HOLDING HER HANDS BESIDE HER HEAD WITH THE DEADEST OF EYES TELLING US, "FLAMES, ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE."
March 14, 2025 at 1:08 AM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
This is one of my United States senators - the one who isn't quitting - in the middle of a #coup.

If I could hold multiple federal offices, I would run to replace BOTH @amyklobuchar.com and @smith.senate.gov.
THIS IS A PICTURE OF AMY KLOBUCHAR'S RECENT POST ON BLUESKY. QUOTE, "I took a stand last year when F1 sought to exclude General Motors/Cadillac from the F1 championship series despite meeting all requirements. I'm glad to see they reversed course to allow an all-American team to compete. This is a win for competition and American manufacturing!" THIS IS MY SENATOR IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING COUP. SCORN HER. DESTROY HER CAREER. RUN AGAINST HER. DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO GET SOMEONE WHO CARES INTO HER POSITION.
March 7, 2025 at 9:09 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
Also the search results for squid butts were neither what I had expected nor what I had feared.

WITH ONE NOTABLE EXCEPTION THAT EVERYONE MUST NOW SUFFER:
IT'S SQUIDWARD FROM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS AND MY GODS HE IS DISPLAYING HIS ASS LIKE EITHER NO ONE IS WATCHING OR LITERALLY EVERYONE IS WATCHING.
March 5, 2025 at 8:41 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
THIS IS AN UNACCEPTABLE IDEA WHY WOULD YOU BUY A KIT WHEN YOU COULD GET AN HEIRLOOM INSTEAD?
IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING EXECUTIONER'S AXE BECAUSE WHILE GUILLOTINES ARE FANCY THEY HAVE WAY TOO MANY MOVING PARTS AND RESEARCH SHOWS THAT PHYSICAL ACTIVITY IS A GREAT WAY TO RELIEVE STRESS IN THESE UNCERTAIN TIMES ALSO THE AXE COSTS A LITTLE LESS THAN THE GUILLOTINE SO WHY WOULDN'T YOU TAKE THE DEAL GET SOME EXERCISE AND STILL REPAIR DEMOCRACY THAT'S MY QUESTION FOR YOU.
March 4, 2025 at 3:43 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WANTING A NORMAL AMOUNT OF NORMAL FOOD EVERYONE WANTS AN ABNORMAL AMOUNT OF ABNORMAL FOOD WHERE ARE MY THIRTY-ONE KILOGRAMS OF STARFRUIT TO SAY NOTHING OF MY DESIRE FOR ONE HALF OF ONE GRAM OF STOPLIGHT PARROTFISH.
IT'S CLEARLY A STOPLIGHT PARROTFISH I DON'T SEE WHY THIS IS SO DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND. IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND MILDLY IRIDESCENT AND WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU LOVE IT AND WANT PRECISELY ONE HALF OF ONE GRAM OF IT RIGHT THE HECK NOW.
February 21, 2025 at 5:52 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
I KNOW BUT THIS IS THE SILLIEST HAT I POSSESS...

... FOR NOW.

IF YOU HAVE RECOMMENDATIONS I AM ALL EAR-SHAPED HATS
IT IS A RAINBOW MOHAWK HAT THAT I LOVE AND WILL SOON POSSESS. IT IS WORN BY A HUMAN WHO GAZES PIERCINGLY INTO THE CAMERA, WHOLLY UNSWAYED BY VISCISSITUDES OF NORMIES.
February 19, 2025 at 9:49 PM
seltsamerweise.bsky.social
@indivisible.org has just confirmed a rally at Treasury on Tuesday, Feb. 4 @ 5 PM.

Still not elected representatives, but it's a start.
All out to Treasury! Tuesday, Feb. 4, 5 pm. US Department of the Treasury. Details TBD. Peaceful rally to stop the Musk coup. Organized by the Fork Off Coalition.
February 3, 2025 at 1:34 AM