Me: “I need some sick time, I’ve got a case of anal glaucoma.”

Boss: “Anal Glaucoma, what’s that?”

Me: “I can’t see my ass coming to work tomorrow.”

Live your life in such a way that when you die, people aren’t able to cite thousands of comments you’ve made advocating the deaths of others.

I know some of you may do this anyway, but I nonetheless urge you NOT to send items like these to the United States Attorney’s Office for the District of Columbia, 601 D St. NW, Washington, DC 20530. Please do NOT do that. Thank you.

Somebody at SNL needs to get Cecily on the horn, STAT.

Don’t forget to call your Republican representatives and tell them to go fuck themselves.

This is what happens when too many people would rather hurt others than help themselves. Literally nobody in America is benefitting from this.

Everyone knows what happened here. Trump can only exist around people he can causally humiliate. Guys lie JD and Rubio. He wanted to do a ritual humiliation of Zelensky and Ukraine but Zelensky wouldn’t accept that and so Trump reacted like a stung bitch.

The 'toons of 2024: Week after week, editorial cartoonist John Cole deftly skewered book bans, bills prohibiting "chemtrails," squabbles over funding for storm-damaged East Tennessee and more.

A personal reflection: “Journalists like myself have a choice: surrender to the fascist mob that wants to intimidate the truth-tellers – or rededicate ourselves to doing what’s right no matter the cost.” www.newschannel5.com/news/newscha...

open.substack.com/pub/thinkbig...

Holy shit. Did you see the letter Olivia Troye’s attorney sent to Kash Patel after he threatened to sue her for defamation? Troye, a former Homeland Security advisor, had the BEST response.

Blah blah blah here's a picture of my dogs.