just had the stupidest Deja vu (googled a guy from hinge & upon clicking a link realized I’d googled this before months ago when he came up in my feed)

“party city’s going out of business” would be a good line right before you kicked someone in the nuts

im a NIMBY but specifically for cyber trucks parked on my block

absolutely hilarious content warnings for a claymation film

New York City is all fun and games till I tweak my ankle a tad and have to limp like a pirate just to get down the subway stairs

need a Shazam but for movies on TV when a tv guide isn’t working

ACAB but I will call the cops on my upstairs neighbor if they vacuum after 11pm on a weekday again

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

Bread Week on this current season of GBBO is an all-timer: the way Brits pronounce oregano, Paul Hollywood not knowing gochujang, a contest making Detroit style pizza???

Facebook loves to be like “people you may know” and it’s the girlfriend of a guy 3 years older than you that you barely know from your hometown and haven’t spoken to since 2014 and you’re only FB friends because back then you just added everyone

the other day I opened my eyes so wide in shock at a story my friend told me that I popped a contact & i can’t stop thinking about it