Michael Meir Saltzman
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saltzman.bsky.social
Michael Meir Saltzman
@saltzman.bsky.social
5.8K followers 1.5K following 3.9K posts
Actor/Writer. Previously: Head writer / Fact Checker for Dropout’s Um, Actually… Jack Handey enthusiast. Yeah I was in that anti-Trump weirdo PSA.
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saltzman.bsky.social
Oh hell yeah
Demina hopes to probe questions about time. "There is a certain theory that suggests that time is not a fundamental property of nature, but it is an emergent property," she said. One famous mechanism for how this can work was described by Don Page and William Wootters in 1983. They argued that the universe as a whole may be timeless and unchanging, while observers inside the universe can perceive temporal evolution. This perception arises because various possible spatial configurations are entangled with the spatial configurations of an object with some periodic pattern, like the hands of a clock. The effect was demonstrated with photons in 2013. "My dream is to perform this experiment in a system of elementary particles, to demonstrate the Page-Wootters
November 25, 2025 at 4:39 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
The worst map I could draw of the middle East with airplanes pew pewing around it. Labels are: Isreal 4 Saudi 3 Bad Guys 2
November 24, 2025 at 4:02 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
Page one of a new book and I already know it is extremely my shit
M LORE EFFECTIVE at setting each twig aquiver in the passing of waves than a pebble dropped into a pool of water, Spiralism defines life at the level of relations (colors, odors, sounds, signs, words) and historical connections (positionings in space and time). Not in a closed circuit, but tracing the path of a spiral. So rich that each new curve, wider and higher than the one before, expands the arc of one's vision. In perfect harmony with the whirlwind of the cosmos, the world of speed in which we evolve, from the greatest of human adventures to struggles for liberation, Spiralism aligns perfectly - in breadth and depth - with an atmosphere of explosive vertigo; it follows the movement that is at the very heart of all living things. It is a shattering of space. An exploding of time. Re-creating wholes from mere details and secondary materials, the practice of Spiralism reconciles Art and Life through literature, and necessarily breaks with the hypocrisy of the Word. Re-cognition.
November 21, 2025 at 5:00 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
Stick figure with stick poking the air from the meme “cmon do something”
November 20, 2025 at 4:58 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
November 19, 2025 at 1:49 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
Cover of Olivia Nuzzi’s book American Canto poorly edited to read “I Fucking Can’t With This Shit” instead
November 17, 2025 at 3:35 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
I’m not above this let’s go
post this on your profile and let your followers associate you with a fictional character that you remind them of
November 11, 2025 at 8:10 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Article is full of bangers
The races might be fantasy, but the effects of racism are real. After Musk's DOGE gutted USAID, he insisted that "no one has died." That wasn't true. People had already died, and hundreds of thousands more will follow every year because America cut its food and medical aid to the world's poorest. Anyone could have predicted this catastrophic human cost; Musk must not have cared. Perhaps he saw the dead of the global South as so many nameless orcs.
November 11, 2025 at 2:59 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Zohran for New York logo changed to read: SALTZMAN FOR YOU HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO WHY ARE YOU SPENDING TIME ON THIS RIGHT NOW
November 8, 2025 at 10:13 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Jay Jonesa Jameson is this anything
A terribly edited image combining Jay Jonah Jameson and Jay Jones it’s really poorly done
November 5, 2025 at 1:46 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
You know a lot of ppl ask me if there are any tips/tricks to booking roles in Hollywood and I always tell them not to neglect their slates. Here’s an example of what it looks like when done right:
November 4, 2025 at 6:06 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
The “baby this is Keke Palmer” meme but edited with a picture of Panam Palmer from Cyberpunk 2077 and with the name changed accordingly. Also threw in a profile pic of Garry the Prophet for good measure
November 3, 2025 at 9:58 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Nice try, Windows, but not today
Close up photo of the system update alert icon from my computer
November 3, 2025 at 5:56 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
Screenshot from the famous meme/scene from Black Dynamite where Black Dynamite has just told everyone they have to stop selling drugs to the community and a character says “But Black Dynamite, I sell drugs to the community!”
November 2, 2025 at 12:27 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
It’s trick or treatin time
Photo of me with Sussy the demon bird from Kpop Demon Hunters on my head
November 1, 2025 at 1:21 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
“Daddy I made this for you!”
A child’s drawing of someone pooping and a smiling poop that says “I am poopoo”
October 29, 2025 at 3:07 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
The count from Sesame Street looking disgruntled
October 29, 2025 at 8:03 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
I refuse to look up what is going on but this is incredible to observe
Screen grab of two posts back to back: Emily Andras @emandras.bsky.social • 2m The fruit plate is warming up ••• Cody Ziglar @yayforzig.bsky.social • 2m Let the fruit tray take a few swings
October 28, 2025 at 6:40 AM
saltzman.bsky.social
It me
Screenshot from episode of Nobody Wants This where I had one single line. Critics are saying it’s a breakout role and I stole the entire series
October 27, 2025 at 4:17 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Every time I have a lollipop I am secretly imagining this scene from Money Talks:
Two extremely awesome weapons dealers sit in the bleachers of a stadium. One holds a sniper rifle and the other is firing a bazooka while eating a lollipop
October 26, 2025 at 4:52 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Her: Hey your bagel is extremely burnt-

Me:
October 26, 2025 at 4:27 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Learned this because the live transcription feature that comes up from voicemail showed this:
Screenshot of a voicemail transcript showing my own phone with an outgoing message: My phone:Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available. +1 (800) 424-6069 Greetings.. This important health message is on behalf of your health insurance…
October 24, 2025 at 10:07 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Discovered my iPhone is “talking” to spam calls for me to screen them? I figured out how to turn it off but jfc I want out of this technohellscape
Screenshot from my phone app settings with the following: Screen Unknown Callers Never Calls from unsaved numbers will ring, and missed calls will be displayed on the Recents list. Ask Reason for Calling Calls from unsaved numbers will be asked for more information before iPhone rings. Calling and data rates may apply. Silence Calls from unsaved numbers will be silenced, sent to voicemail, and displayed on the Recents list. Calling and data rates may apply.
October 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Screenshot from P.O.D. youth of the nation
October 24, 2025 at 2:18 PM
saltzman.bsky.social
Sending this to this guy
Darryl Perry at the Libertarian Party debate in 2016 famously comparing a drivers license to a toasters license
October 24, 2025 at 12:42 AM