A Whole Halfling
@ruhruhrandy.bsky.social
Tottenham supporter. Gamer. Magic the Gathering veteran. Professional baker. Unprofessional internet comedian.
Pinned
Funny Man Jokes Into Void
Just tried to push a pull door and now I must go into the sea
December 6, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Just tried to push a pull door and now I must go into the sea
I wonder how Kim from the Nickelback song “Photograph” is doing
December 4, 2025 at 11:38 AM
I wonder how Kim from the Nickelback song “Photograph” is doing
People don’t enjoy things anymore because they want them to be Realistic and Make All The Sense. No one lives by the Rule of Cool anymore and that’s why everyone’s miserable.
December 4, 2025 at 4:29 AM
People don’t enjoy things anymore because they want them to be Realistic and Make All The Sense. No one lives by the Rule of Cool anymore and that’s why everyone’s miserable.
I have to have the captions on. I understand things better when I hear with my eyes cause my ears don’t see good.
December 2, 2025 at 11:46 AM
I have to have the captions on. I understand things better when I hear with my eyes cause my ears don’t see good.
Listening to my girlfriend talk to her fiercely and proudly ignorant sister.
November 29, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Listening to my girlfriend talk to her fiercely and proudly ignorant sister.
Occasionally I think about going back to school, but I just know there’s some bullshit rule that will put me back in a Math class, and I fear I won’t survive that.
November 26, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Occasionally I think about going back to school, but I just know there’s some bullshit rule that will put me back in a Math class, and I fear I won’t survive that.
I simply cannot help myself around a good Reese’s.
November 25, 2025 at 4:01 AM
I simply cannot help myself around a good Reese’s.
Being 35 sucks. At least when I was 34 I didn’t have the crushing pressure of being eligible for president.
November 14, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Being 35 sucks. At least when I was 34 I didn’t have the crushing pressure of being eligible for president.
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
oh you think I know what im doing? *loud incorrect buzzer*
November 13, 2025 at 9:56 PM
oh you think I know what im doing? *loud incorrect buzzer*
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
After an economic crash you always see headlines like What Was Everyone Thinking? What do you mean everyone, most of us are waving our arms and screaming every day, it's a handful of insanely rich assholes who aren't listening
November 13, 2025 at 4:23 PM
After an economic crash you always see headlines like What Was Everyone Thinking? What do you mean everyone, most of us are waving our arms and screaming every day, it's a handful of insanely rich assholes who aren't listening
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
I've noticed the opposing team's fans only cheer when the opponents score on us. To win those fans over, I recommend we score on ourselves repeatedly; that will surely make them so happy they'll start supporting us. And I'm sure all our fans will keep cheering for us—who else is there to cheer for?
October 10, 2025 at 12:19 PM
I've noticed the opposing team's fans only cheer when the opponents score on us. To win those fans over, I recommend we score on ourselves repeatedly; that will surely make them so happy they'll start supporting us. And I'm sure all our fans will keep cheering for us—who else is there to cheer for?
I just cannot fathom seeing the election results this past week, and then going “alright now that’s over with, let’s immediately give up some ground”. Anyone with a brain cell would press their advantage. Why on earth have the Dems conceded here? It’s -bonkers-.
November 10, 2025 at 7:57 AM
I just cannot fathom seeing the election results this past week, and then going “alright now that’s over with, let’s immediately give up some ground”. Anyone with a brain cell would press their advantage. Why on earth have the Dems conceded here? It’s -bonkers-.
The worst thing about being a Smarty Pants Knowitall Who Is Never Wrong (besides people just generally disliking you) is the small subset of people who want to be right all the time like you, but just aren’t, and they -will- fight about it.
November 10, 2025 at 1:14 AM
The worst thing about being a Smarty Pants Knowitall Who Is Never Wrong (besides people just generally disliking you) is the small subset of people who want to be right all the time like you, but just aren’t, and they -will- fight about it.
The cool thing about having tooth decay is sometimes when you’re eating food you get a little bit of teeth, as a snack.
November 9, 2025 at 1:43 AM
The cool thing about having tooth decay is sometimes when you’re eating food you get a little bit of teeth, as a snack.
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
Aging has made me realize just how stupid the world around me really is.
November 4, 2025 at 10:53 AM
Aging has made me realize just how stupid the world around me really is.
It’s really fortunate that a guy with the surname Zombie grew up to direct horror movies.
October 31, 2025 at 2:32 PM
It’s really fortunate that a guy with the surname Zombie grew up to direct horror movies.
@makesomenoiseshow.bsky.social I need Ross as Jack Skellington, full costume, asap
October 30, 2025 at 1:59 AM
@makesomenoiseshow.bsky.social I need Ross as Jack Skellington, full costume, asap
This was one of my better jokes on the old platform, which I bring now humbly to you.
October 26, 2025 at 4:51 AM
This was one of my better jokes on the old platform, which I bring now humbly to you.
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
Some might say I need to find an audience, but here’s the thing. When you’re a clown, the whole world is your audience.
August 5, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Some might say I need to find an audience, but here’s the thing. When you’re a clown, the whole world is your audience.
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
Oh yeah? Well why don’t they then? Why don’t they??
August 5, 2025 at 10:41 AM
Oh yeah? Well why don’t they then? Why don’t they??
Reposted by A Whole Halfling
Professional wrestling is just D&D for jocks.
January 25, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Professional wrestling is just D&D for jocks.
It’s just so hard to get into the Halloween spirit when real life is so damn terrifying right now
October 16, 2025 at 2:48 AM
It’s just so hard to get into the Halloween spirit when real life is so damn terrifying right now
Trying to imagine my kid singing The Bad Touch or Crazy Rap in between puffs of a cigarette like my friends did at his age. Jesus, where were our parents?
October 15, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Trying to imagine my kid singing The Bad Touch or Crazy Rap in between puffs of a cigarette like my friends did at his age. Jesus, where were our parents?