Ron Sequitur ꙮ
@ronsequitur.bsky.social
A fax machine is just a surprise printer.
Reskeets mean I love you.
LINKS
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Decent Skeetcents: https://tinyurl.com/DecentSkeetcents
Ron's Favstar: https://tinyurl.com/RonsFavstar
Reskeets mean I love you.
LINKS
------
Decent Skeetcents: https://tinyurl.com/DecentSkeetcents
Ron's Favstar: https://tinyurl.com/RonsFavstar
Pinned
Ron Sequitur ꙮ
@ronsequitur.bsky.social
· Jul 22
Take me down to the pair of mice city,
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
Where they have two mice; it's a two mouse city
ME: I had an MRI. I don't remember what they were scanning.
MY BOSS:
ME: The doctor said it was the best result he has ever seen as a doctor.
MY BOSS: So...
ME: He's a doctor, and he said that.
MY BOSS: [pinching bridge of nose]
MY BOSS:
ME: The doctor said it was the best result he has ever seen as a doctor.
MY BOSS: So...
ME: He's a doctor, and he said that.
MY BOSS: [pinching bridge of nose]
November 16, 2025 at 4:42 AM
ME: I had an MRI. I don't remember what they were scanning.
MY BOSS:
ME: The doctor said it was the best result he has ever seen as a doctor.
MY BOSS: So...
ME: He's a doctor, and he said that.
MY BOSS: [pinching bridge of nose]
MY BOSS:
ME: The doctor said it was the best result he has ever seen as a doctor.
MY BOSS: So...
ME: He's a doctor, and he said that.
MY BOSS: [pinching bridge of nose]
How about instead of saying "half hour" we just say "h-our" (pronounced HOW-er)? Just sort of combine the two words and smoosh 'em together.
November 16, 2025 at 4:33 AM
How about instead of saying "half hour" we just say "h-our" (pronounced HOW-er)? Just sort of combine the two words and smoosh 'em together.
As owner of the Green Bay Packers, I propose changing the team logo to a silhouette of a guy shitting in a bed. Far more fitting than the G for "Greatness."
November 11, 2025 at 4:52 AM
As owner of the Green Bay Packers, I propose changing the team logo to a silhouette of a guy shitting in a bed. Far more fitting than the G for "Greatness."
When you want everyone to know how bad you feel about showing up to the office Christmas party drunk, so you show up to work on Monday with a carboy of mystery fluid and a face that says, "How charming is this?"
November 11, 2025 at 2:07 AM
When you want everyone to know how bad you feel about showing up to the office Christmas party drunk, so you show up to work on Monday with a carboy of mystery fluid and a face that says, "How charming is this?"
That magic moment when the first chill of winter comes in contact with your beard, and you are instantly transformed from Hugh Jackman to Randy Quaid.
November 10, 2025 at 7:37 PM
That magic moment when the first chill of winter comes in contact with your beard, and you are instantly transformed from Hugh Jackman to Randy Quaid.
Cookie Monster entered the local cookie eating contest; his eyes were on the prize and the ceiling.
November 9, 2025 at 3:34 AM
Cookie Monster entered the local cookie eating contest; his eyes were on the prize and the ceiling.
You know how stadiums have TVs by the snacks? What if symphonies put, like, oboes out by the crappers? Maybe keep up on the show that way.
November 9, 2025 at 3:25 AM
You know how stadiums have TVs by the snacks? What if symphonies put, like, oboes out by the crappers? Maybe keep up on the show that way.
Saturday night's alright for writing
November 9, 2025 at 3:20 AM
Saturday night's alright for writing
Ham is nature's hot dogs
November 8, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Ham is nature's hot dogs
Relatable #Relatable
okay gn hope I've annoyed you the right amount
November 8, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Relatable #Relatable
Remember, remember
The Fifth of November
The year Nineteen-Fifty and Five
A scientist named "Doc"
Received quite a shock
From a boy who was not yet alive
The Fifth of November
The year Nineteen-Fifty and Five
A scientist named "Doc"
Received quite a shock
From a boy who was not yet alive
November 6, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Remember, remember
The Fifth of November
The year Nineteen-Fifty and Five
A scientist named "Doc"
Received quite a shock
From a boy who was not yet alive
The Fifth of November
The year Nineteen-Fifty and Five
A scientist named "Doc"
Received quite a shock
From a boy who was not yet alive
Don't forget to change your clocks by an hour sometime, somehow
November 1, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Don't forget to change your clocks by an hour sometime, somehow
Recipes in the 1960s would call for an entire ham, cut into 1/8th inch cubes, a gallon of vanilla ice cream, and would be called something like, "Heaven's Dew."
November 1, 2025 at 2:51 AM
Recipes in the 1960s would call for an entire ham, cut into 1/8th inch cubes, a gallon of vanilla ice cream, and would be called something like, "Heaven's Dew."
(to the tune of Cat Scratch Fever)
Ham Patch Levers
Ham Patch Levers
November 1, 2025 at 2:43 AM
(to the tune of Cat Scratch Fever)
Ham Patch Levers
Ham Patch Levers
[finding the stash of hidden halloween candy] Obi Wan was right to hide you from me
October 31, 2025 at 12:26 AM
[finding the stash of hidden halloween candy] Obi Wan was right to hide you from me
"He's the absolute master at trolling."
"Liberal heads explode in 3...2..."
"I can't cum unless he owns the libs"
"This is my entire identity and that isn't sad or deranged"
"4D Chess, baby"
"Liberal heads explode in 3...2..."
"I can't cum unless he owns the libs"
"This is my entire identity and that isn't sad or deranged"
"4D Chess, baby"
October 30, 2025 at 2:29 AM
"He's the absolute master at trolling."
"Liberal heads explode in 3...2..."
"I can't cum unless he owns the libs"
"This is my entire identity and that isn't sad or deranged"
"4D Chess, baby"
"Liberal heads explode in 3...2..."
"I can't cum unless he owns the libs"
"This is my entire identity and that isn't sad or deranged"
"4D Chess, baby"
Pease porridge hot
Pease porridge cold
Nobody knows what pease porridge is
Pease porridge cold
Nobody knows what pease porridge is
October 29, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Pease porridge hot
Pease porridge cold
Nobody knows what pease porridge is
Pease porridge cold
Nobody knows what pease porridge is
Hickory dickory dock
Don't sniff glue
You'll start seeing mice
On clocks
There's one now
Hold my glue
I'll throw this hammer at it
I think I broke the clock
[softly weeping for 12 minutes]
[dry heave]
[dry heave]
Is the hammer ok
[dry heave]
Hickory dickory dock
Don't sniff glue
You'll start seeing mice
On clocks
There's one now
Hold my glue
I'll throw this hammer at it
I think I broke the clock
[softly weeping for 12 minutes]
[dry heave]
[dry heave]
Is the hammer ok
[dry heave]
Hickory dickory dock
October 29, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Hickory dickory dock
Don't sniff glue
You'll start seeing mice
On clocks
There's one now
Hold my glue
I'll throw this hammer at it
I think I broke the clock
[softly weeping for 12 minutes]
[dry heave]
[dry heave]
Is the hammer ok
[dry heave]
Hickory dickory dock
Don't sniff glue
You'll start seeing mice
On clocks
There's one now
Hold my glue
I'll throw this hammer at it
I think I broke the clock
[softly weeping for 12 minutes]
[dry heave]
[dry heave]
Is the hammer ok
[dry heave]
Hickory dickory dock
There is no Dana, only BIG FALL SAVINGS AT MENARDS
October 29, 2025 at 1:08 AM
There is no Dana, only BIG FALL SAVINGS AT MENARDS
What's your favorite Sisqo song about underpants
October 28, 2025 at 10:22 PM
What's your favorite Sisqo song about underpants
ELMO: Elmo can count to four!
GROVER: I have a degree from a college on the Internet.
ELMO: Yay!
GROVER:
GROVER: You're... are you mocking me.
GROVER: I have a degree from a college on the Internet.
ELMO: Yay!
GROVER:
GROVER: You're... are you mocking me.
October 28, 2025 at 1:45 AM
ELMO: Elmo can count to four!
GROVER: I have a degree from a college on the Internet.
ELMO: Yay!
GROVER:
GROVER: You're... are you mocking me.
GROVER: I have a degree from a college on the Internet.
ELMO: Yay!
GROVER:
GROVER: You're... are you mocking me.
Should have been called a Cheese and Ham Sandwich, massive overreach by Big Ham
October 27, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Should have been called a Cheese and Ham Sandwich, massive overreach by Big Ham
Welcome to the jungle
We've got David Blaine
We don't know what he's doing here
Seriously though, why's he here
We've got David Blaine
We don't know what he's doing here
Seriously though, why's he here
October 27, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Welcome to the jungle
We've got David Blaine
We don't know what he's doing here
Seriously though, why's he here
We've got David Blaine
We don't know what he's doing here
Seriously though, why's he here
Cows are nature's camels
October 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
Cows are nature's camels
Reposted by Ron Sequitur ꙮ
[Bad Company voice] ♫ FEEL LIKE MAKING POSTS ♫
October 26, 2025 at 2:45 PM
[Bad Company voice] ♫ FEEL LIKE MAKING POSTS ♫