Jamie Phelps Proctor
@robotchanter.bsky.social
Chicago dad (he/him/his)
Kids be like, “let’s pretend this mundane task that you need me to help do was 10x more difficult and impossibly frustrating”
July 27, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Kids be like, “let’s pretend this mundane task that you need me to help do was 10x more difficult and impossibly frustrating”
Yesterday is why Elon bought twitter
June 8, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Yesterday is why Elon bought twitter
Thus begins the hugest ever round of “well he was born in a Chicago but he grew up in the Suburbs”
May 8, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Thus begins the hugest ever round of “well he was born in a Chicago but he grew up in the Suburbs”
Chicagoans demand to know, What high school did the Pope go to?
May 8, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Chicagoans demand to know, What high school did the Pope go to?
This water fountain at Orlando International has done more for the environment than any American president
April 20, 2025 at 7:27 PM
This water fountain at Orlando International has done more for the environment than any American president
“Mediums”
So maybe this isn’t real, or it WAS real until a grownup found out about DOGE’s latest.
April 12, 2025 at 3:53 PM
“Mediums”
Tim Ratliff was named Ambassador to Thailand before he made it back to RDU
April 8, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Tim Ratliff was named Ambassador to Thailand before he made it back to RDU
Cory Booker is on the Senate floor explaining how there are two Darrin Stevens - Dick York and Dick Sargent - as if we wouldn't notice.
April 1, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Cory Booker is on the Senate floor explaining how there are two Darrin Stevens - Dick York and Dick Sargent - as if we wouldn't notice.
Reposted by Jamie Phelps Proctor
This is a very big problem!
You can do a trade war & cut off food imports. OR you can have a domestic farm sector that's given up on feeding its own country.
You can't do both!
But we are! We're doing both!
You can do a trade war & cut off food imports. OR you can have a domestic farm sector that's given up on feeding its own country.
You can't do both!
But we are! We're doing both!
March 28, 2025 at 9:15 PM
This is a very big problem!
You can do a trade war & cut off food imports. OR you can have a domestic farm sector that's given up on feeding its own country.
You can't do both!
But we are! We're doing both!
You can do a trade war & cut off food imports. OR you can have a domestic farm sector that's given up on feeding its own country.
You can't do both!
But we are! We're doing both!
Ask not who’s the host of this zoom meeting, the host is thee
March 26, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Ask not who’s the host of this zoom meeting, the host is thee
Me in the national security group chat:
March 25, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Me in the national security group chat:
Post a fictional character who you think would be an antivaxxer.
Hard mode: No villains.
Hard mode: No villains.
March 20, 2025 at 2:49 AM
Post a fictional character who you think would be an antivaxxer.
Hard mode: No villains.
Hard mode: No villains.
March 9, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Goodles are the new Sponge Daddy, a clever trick to get millennials to pay $6 for a marginally better version of a thing that can still be purchased for $0.69
March 9, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Goodles are the new Sponge Daddy, a clever trick to get millennials to pay $6 for a marginally better version of a thing that can still be purchased for $0.69
The USDA is reneging on a deal and leaving food banks and family farmers with unpaid bills.
capitolnewsillinois.com/news/trump-a...
capitolnewsillinois.com/news/trump-a...
Trump administration ends reimbursements for Illinois food programs
Illinois faces withheld USDA funds impacting food programs and farmers. Gov. Pritzker warns of further budget cuts.
capitolnewsillinois.com
March 5, 2025 at 2:14 PM
The USDA is reneging on a deal and leaving food banks and family farmers with unpaid bills.
capitolnewsillinois.com/news/trump-a...
capitolnewsillinois.com/news/trump-a...
More like “Snora” if you ask me (this is not even about the movie I’m just so very sleepy)
March 3, 2025 at 4:22 AM
More like “Snora” if you ask me (this is not even about the movie I’m just so very sleepy)
Reposted by Jamie Phelps Proctor
As someone who spends a lot time thinking about the values I want to teach my kid (besides PLEASE DON’T EAT DIRT), the thing I keep coming back to is this: I want him to believe that the strongest, bravest thing he can do is give a shit about other people—especially ones who aren’t like him at all.
March 2, 2025 at 11:21 PM
As someone who spends a lot time thinking about the values I want to teach my kid (besides PLEASE DON’T EAT DIRT), the thing I keep coming back to is this: I want him to believe that the strongest, bravest thing he can do is give a shit about other people—especially ones who aren’t like him at all.
Find yourself somebody who likes the same kind of fried plantains.
February 22, 2025 at 7:26 PM
Find yourself somebody who likes the same kind of fried plantains.
Keep honking, I can always drive slower
February 22, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Keep honking, I can always drive slower
Chicago city council might not have voted to lower the speed limit, but that doesn’t mean I can’t drive 25 anyway
February 22, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Chicago city council might not have voted to lower the speed limit, but that doesn’t mean I can’t drive 25 anyway
I wonder who Trump will pick for the Halftime show next year
February 10, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I wonder who Trump will pick for the Halftime show next year
The New Orleans Police Department said in a statement that “law enforcement is working to determine applicable charges in this incident.”
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/02/10/s...
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/02/10/s...
Super Bowl halftime performer detained after unfurling Sudanese-Palestinian flag
A performer in Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl halftime show was detained on the field and could face charges after unfurling a combination Sudanese-Palestinian flag with “Sudan” and “Gaza” written on …
www.chicagotribune.com
February 10, 2025 at 2:39 PM
The New Orleans Police Department said in a statement that “law enforcement is working to determine applicable charges in this incident.”
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/02/10/s...
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/02/10/s...
I cackled
In a sentence never before uttered by humans, I am delighted to share that an alligator stole my conservation instructor’s hat by jauntily walking into the water while wearing it 🐊
February 10, 2025 at 2:37 PM
I cackled
Reposted by Jamie Phelps Proctor
Happy holiday to all who celebrate
February 9, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Happy holiday to all who celebrate
My trick to cooking things with veg stock is to add chicken bouillon
February 9, 2025 at 12:30 AM
My trick to cooking things with veg stock is to add chicken bouillon