O Cloudflare, Sagacious And Merciful Goddess Of Uptime, please accept this humble sacrifice of three dudes with MBAs in branded half-zip performance fleece as you, in your infinite wisdom, consider whether to end the Great Twitter Famine.

Is there a documentary or oral history about whoever the hell was writing the game manuals over at Ultra? Because this shit is absolutely bonkers and I need to know more.

Apologies to anyone with firstborns named Chevy. I, too, am a fan of Spies Like Us. (Not *that* big a fan, but again, common ground.)

I DID THE THING DAMMIT. #baking

Peak fiction.

Simon has defeated Dracula, but at what cost? Castlevania II had some issues, but once I gave up and consulted a walkthrough it turned out to be kind of disappointingly easy. Onward, to the next Castlevania (and the next Belmont!)

Currently playing through the NES version on the Anniversary Collection for the first time, and... yeah it *really* could have used a dang map. And better localization. And a lack of invisible holes in platforms.

Honestly seems kind of obvious in retrospect.

Cut to a montage of me scraping back and forth through the video for two hours like I'm Rick frickin' Deckard

Saying all this to say: I hope the owner of the Rivian I saw this morning with the license plate "C4NYNRO" is having a good day.