AotM!Al finds his concept of IT-ness deeply empowering, and while this doesn't help w/ his tendency to set himself apart rather than seek support from others, there IS something to be said for how it opens up a gender-null space for him to experience his identity in isolation.

(It also keeps him from having to examine some foundational traumas he could do to address, but...) Embracing monstrosity also frees Alastor from conventional beauty standards. He's under no obligation to be pleasant to look at - in fact, provoking visceral reactions just by existing is the POINT. +

When I ship radiodust I want them to bring out the best and bloodiest in each other and work toward forging a better future for themselves w/o compromising their own monstrosity. When I ship radiostatic I want them to fuck up themselves and everything around them in fun and interesting new ways.

Oh! What if one of his favorite mediums is reading screenplays? It would combine a love of cinema and prose, as well as incorporate his professional competencies. He genuinely could write way better films than Val or Travis, bc he's been studying the art & theory for years.

I’m crying this is so adorable

Re: your last sentence, I've pondered before that if I want to cohabitate w/ a life companion, I could wait till I'm 50+ & find a divorcee w/ teen+ kids who need a safe, supportive addition to their family, & find a niche that doesn't require me to pay the sex tax to have someone to live with. 😂

God, it's beautiful to hear that. Wrt aceness but also n.divergence/mental illness/abuse, I used to hate that I didn't know how to explain how I got to a better place so others could do it too - but storytelling is the way. You can spin it out over time & understand better yourself in the process. +

Though I'm charmed by the idea, I don't have the experience to fully understand what a QPR would look or feel like, but writing radiodust is letting me explore it along with them, and I'm learning a little more about myself every chapter. And I think that's what seeing yourself in fiction is for.

I adore what I've made of radiodust in large part bc their bond is growing on a foundation of ever-deepening friendship & shared interests, which nourishes their exploration of romance like rich loam tilled into a dry bed Al otherwise had no cause to plant anything in. +

He meets Angel on his level in AotM bc any intimacy shared w/ this person whose entirety he's enthralled by becomes a source of fun, whether he has an innate need for that type of intimacy in a vacuum or not. & Angel reveling in his kind of love despite/bc it's Different is what makes it all work. +

This leads to an aroace Al who engages w/ romance/sex more than I ever would, but w/ those same motives of psychic/aesthetic fascination. But I don't feel this invalidates his aroace-ness. I want to demonstrate that queerplatonic love can be just as passionate as whatever romantic love feels like. +