Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
Horror & Comedy Author, here to offer a temporary escape from all of life's BS. Fan of cryptids, Transformers, & Godzilla.
He/Him.
Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
He/Him.
Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
Pinned
Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
· Feb 18
What happens when a foul-mouthed gamer is mistakenly recruited into the ranks of the undead?
All hell breaks loose, duh!
The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.
There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
All hell breaks loose, duh!
The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.
There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
Ah Cyber Monday, aka “here’s all the shit we couldn’t get rid of last week, with a new label but same price.”
December 1, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Ah Cyber Monday, aka “here’s all the shit we couldn’t get rid of last week, with a new label but same price.”
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
December 1, 2025 at 3:37 AM
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
I dunno. Drip Bear sounds like either the name or a cryptid, a sex position, or some dude’s drug dealer.
November 29, 2025 at 10:10 PM
I dunno. Drip Bear sounds like either the name or a cryptid, a sex position, or some dude’s drug dealer.
Stores: "Here's our Black Friday sale!"
(notices there's plenty of shit left over)
Stores: Here's our Cyber Monday sale!"
(notices there's plenty of shit left over)
Stores: Here's our Cyber Monday sale!"
November 29, 2025 at 3:55 PM
Stores: "Here's our Black Friday sale!"
(notices there's plenty of shit left over)
Stores: Here's our Cyber Monday sale!"
(notices there's plenty of shit left over)
Stores: Here's our Cyber Monday sale!"
It's never a bad time to punch evil right in its stupid, fucking face!
November 29, 2025 at 2:49 PM
It's never a bad time to punch evil right in its stupid, fucking face!
I don't care how many years it's been with us, Cyber Monday is still the stupidest shopping holiday name imaginable.
November 29, 2025 at 2:40 PM
I don't care how many years it's been with us, Cyber Monday is still the stupidest shopping holiday name imaginable.
Had to run out to my oldest’s place yesterday to feed her cats.
Got back to find my youngest had demolished the pie I’d made for Thanksgiving dessert.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. 🤣
Got back to find my youngest had demolished the pie I’d made for Thanksgiving dessert.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. 🤣
November 29, 2025 at 12:01 PM
Had to run out to my oldest’s place yesterday to feed her cats.
Got back to find my youngest had demolished the pie I’d made for Thanksgiving dessert.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. 🤣
Got back to find my youngest had demolished the pie I’d made for Thanksgiving dessert.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. 🤣
When you make a typo and keep typing in the hope that autocorrect fixes this random mashup of letters.
November 29, 2025 at 11:35 AM
When you make a typo and keep typing in the hope that autocorrect fixes this random mashup of letters.
I love both prologues and epilogues and if they’re in a book I will read them both happily.
November 29, 2025 at 11:20 AM
I love both prologues and epilogues and if they’re in a book I will read them both happily.
Get ready to die laughing!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
November 29, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Get ready to die laughing!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
Ready for a terrifying Bigfoot thriller?
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
November 28, 2025 at 4:18 AM
Ready for a terrifying Bigfoot thriller?
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
One medium sized plate and I’m done. Happy to be on Zepbound, but damn does it make me sad on a day like this. 🤣
November 28, 2025 at 12:23 AM
One medium sized plate and I’m done. Happy to be on Zepbound, but damn does it make me sad on a day like this. 🤣
So we pretty much split the duties down the middle this year.
I made dessert and the mashed potatoes.
She made the green bean casserole.
She prepped the turkey, I’m basting the turkey.
I started the gravy, she’ll finish it.
She’ll then carve the turkey because I can’t carve for shit.
I made dessert and the mashed potatoes.
She made the green bean casserole.
She prepped the turkey, I’m basting the turkey.
I started the gravy, she’ll finish it.
She’ll then carve the turkey because I can’t carve for shit.
November 27, 2025 at 9:09 PM
So we pretty much split the duties down the middle this year.
I made dessert and the mashed potatoes.
She made the green bean casserole.
She prepped the turkey, I’m basting the turkey.
I started the gravy, she’ll finish it.
She’ll then carve the turkey because I can’t carve for shit.
I made dessert and the mashed potatoes.
She made the green bean casserole.
She prepped the turkey, I’m basting the turkey.
I started the gravy, she’ll finish it.
She’ll then carve the turkey because I can’t carve for shit.
For when you don’t need to roll a Nat20 so much as throw one through some fucker’s windshield.
November 27, 2025 at 2:35 PM
For when you don’t need to roll a Nat20 so much as throw one through some fucker’s windshield.
Made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. It has begun!
November 27, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. It has begun!
Get ready to die laughing!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
November 27, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Get ready to die laughing!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
Back at JFK. Goddamn this airport is a rat maze.
November 27, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Back at JFK. Goddamn this airport is a rat maze.
Me: "I have ten pages left in this edit. Can you let me finish?"
The cat:
The cat:
November 26, 2025 at 3:32 PM
Me: "I have ten pages left in this edit. Can you let me finish?"
The cat:
The cat:
If you're in NJ and driving in the left lane 1 MPH faster than the slow car in the middle, just know that everyone hates you.
November 26, 2025 at 2:55 PM
If you're in NJ and driving in the left lane 1 MPH faster than the slow car in the middle, just know that everyone hates you.
Don't sleep with the lights on!
That just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
That just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
November 26, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Don't sleep with the lights on!
That just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
That just makes it easier for the monsters to find you.
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
2 paragraphs away from the end of this chapter, but no, Falkor decided it was dinner time … and he was going to grumble behind my chair until I got the hint.
November 25, 2025 at 9:50 PM
2 paragraphs away from the end of this chapter, but no, Falkor decided it was dinner time … and he was going to grumble behind my chair until I got the hint.
Lap goblin says “No editing for you, author monkey!”
November 25, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Lap goblin says “No editing for you, author monkey!”
Holy crap. It used to be so easy to contact someone at Amazon. Now it's a mess of links, dead end help pages, and AI chat that tries to do everything to keep you from talking to an actual person.
November 25, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Holy crap. It used to be so easy to contact someone at Amazon. Now it's a mess of links, dead end help pages, and AI chat that tries to do everything to keep you from talking to an actual person.
I honestly don’t get why mobile game companies are so addicted to selling a lie, especially when the game itself is fine.
But they’d rather sell something that doesn’t exist, rather than actually build the game they’re showing in the ads.
But they’d rather sell something that doesn’t exist, rather than actually build the game they’re showing in the ads.
November 25, 2025 at 11:34 AM
I honestly don’t get why mobile game companies are so addicted to selling a lie, especially when the game itself is fine.
But they’d rather sell something that doesn’t exist, rather than actually build the game they’re showing in the ads.
But they’d rather sell something that doesn’t exist, rather than actually build the game they’re showing in the ads.
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 AM
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1