Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
Horror & Comedy Author, here to offer a temporary escape from all of life's BS. Fan of cryptids, Transformers, & Godzilla.
He/Him.
Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
He/Him.
Check out my books at: https://rickgualtieri.com/links/
Pinned
Rick Gualtieri
@rickgualtieri.com
· Feb 18
What happens when a foul-mouthed gamer is mistakenly recruited into the ranks of the undead?
All hell breaks loose, duh!
The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.
There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
All hell breaks loose, duh!
The Tome of Bill horror comedy series, starting with BILL THE VAMPIRE.
There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K #books
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
November 15, 2025 at 4:12 AM
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
Watching Crackcoon.
And yes, I definitely approve of the wild animal on heavy drugs genre.
And yes, I definitely approve of the wild animal on heavy drugs genre.
November 15, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Watching Crackcoon.
And yes, I definitely approve of the wild animal on heavy drugs genre.
And yes, I definitely approve of the wild animal on heavy drugs genre.
Trying to watch TV and my dog Axel is absolutely losing his mind whining because the cat is in his seat and won’t move.
November 14, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Trying to watch TV and my dog Axel is absolutely losing his mind whining because the cat is in his seat and won’t move.
Just saw a mobile ad in which a mom is begging Copilot for a meal plan for her child.
And it’s like, what did she do before GenAI, send her daughter out to scavenge like a raccoon?
And it’s like, what did she do before GenAI, send her daughter out to scavenge like a raccoon?
November 14, 2025 at 4:56 PM
Just saw a mobile ad in which a mom is begging Copilot for a meal plan for her child.
And it’s like, what did she do before GenAI, send her daughter out to scavenge like a raccoon?
And it’s like, what did she do before GenAI, send her daughter out to scavenge like a raccoon?
Get ready to die laughing!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
November 14, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Get ready to die laughing!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
Reposted by Rick Gualtieri
[Book Giveaway] Like #vampires, like outrageous comedy? Enjoy STRAIGHT OUTTA FANGTON, the story of a poor black #vampire working the graveyard shift. Free from November 13th to 18th! Part 1 of a trilogy in the United States of Monsters megaseries! www.amazon.com/Straight-Out... #books #urbanfantasy
Straight Outta Fangton: A Comedic Vampire Story (United States of Monsters Book 5)
Amazon.com: Straight Outta Fangton: A Comedic Vampire Story (United States of Monsters Book 5) eBook : Phipps, C. T.: Kindle Store
www.amazon.com
November 13, 2025 at 6:38 PM
[Book Giveaway] Like #vampires, like outrageous comedy? Enjoy STRAIGHT OUTTA FANGTON, the story of a poor black #vampire working the graveyard shift. Free from November 13th to 18th! Part 1 of a trilogy in the United States of Monsters megaseries! www.amazon.com/Straight-Out... #books #urbanfantasy
Can’t wait to try this out.
November 13, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Can’t wait to try this out.
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
November 13, 2025 at 4:33 AM
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
Whenever I commission a new book cover, I make it point to learn the fonts used on that cover. I then go out and purchase a commercial license for said fonts (if available).
That way I can support the creator as well as my own book marketing. A win-win if you ask me.
Also more fonts = good. 😁
That way I can support the creator as well as my own book marketing. A win-win if you ask me.
Also more fonts = good. 😁
November 12, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Whenever I commission a new book cover, I make it point to learn the fonts used on that cover. I then go out and purchase a commercial license for said fonts (if available).
That way I can support the creator as well as my own book marketing. A win-win if you ask me.
Also more fonts = good. 😁
That way I can support the creator as well as my own book marketing. A win-win if you ask me.
Also more fonts = good. 😁
People are messy. They have hangups, quirks, hidden prejudices etc. Everyone has a hidden part to them that isn’t so nice.
Books often let you see through that outer wall to the hidden messiness within their characters…
1/2
Books often let you see through that outer wall to the hidden messiness within their characters…
1/2
November 12, 2025 at 12:37 PM
People are messy. They have hangups, quirks, hidden prejudices etc. Everyone has a hidden part to them that isn’t so nice.
Books often let you see through that outer wall to the hidden messiness within their characters…
1/2
Books often let you see through that outer wall to the hidden messiness within their characters…
1/2
Ready for a terrifying Bigfoot thriller?
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
November 12, 2025 at 3:57 AM
Ready for a terrifying Bigfoot thriller?
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
BIGFOOT HUNTERS - Tales of the Crypto-Hunter book 1.
A cryptid thriller for ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0074VTEPA
Ugh, for the last week I’ve been lucky to get in half a day’s work before something grinds me to a complete halt.
Today, I finished lunch only to find a section of fence had been dislodged by the wind. Fortunately my oldest was around to help me fix it, but it totally derailed my afternoon.
Today, I finished lunch only to find a section of fence had been dislodged by the wind. Fortunately my oldest was around to help me fix it, but it totally derailed my afternoon.
November 11, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Ugh, for the last week I’ve been lucky to get in half a day’s work before something grinds me to a complete halt.
Today, I finished lunch only to find a section of fence had been dislodged by the wind. Fortunately my oldest was around to help me fix it, but it totally derailed my afternoon.
Today, I finished lunch only to find a section of fence had been dislodged by the wind. Fortunately my oldest was around to help me fix it, but it totally derailed my afternoon.
Here's the thing. If you actually do run a book club, instead of some scam organization, you don't need me to write back to feature my books. Just do it. I guarantee I'm cool with it.
Oh wait, you want a small "administrative fee" first? Hmm, survey says Fuck That Noise.
Oh wait, you want a small "administrative fee" first? Hmm, survey says Fuck That Noise.
November 11, 2025 at 9:17 PM
Here's the thing. If you actually do run a book club, instead of some scam organization, you don't need me to write back to feature my books. Just do it. I guarantee I'm cool with it.
Oh wait, you want a small "administrative fee" first? Hmm, survey says Fuck That Noise.
Oh wait, you want a small "administrative fee" first? Hmm, survey says Fuck That Noise.
Book scammers: "Congratulations on your book's release.
Is it available on Amazon and Goodreads?"
I kind of feel like if you know the first, you should already be aware of the second.
Is it available on Amazon and Goodreads?"
I kind of feel like if you know the first, you should already be aware of the second.
November 11, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Book scammers: "Congratulations on your book's release.
Is it available on Amazon and Goodreads?"
I kind of feel like if you know the first, you should already be aware of the second.
Is it available on Amazon and Goodreads?"
I kind of feel like if you know the first, you should already be aware of the second.
Me: (Noticing they're ripped down the middle and my fingers are sticking out in multiple spots) "I should probably order new gloves."
Alissa: "Ya think?"
Alissa: "Ya think?"
November 11, 2025 at 1:03 PM
Me: (Noticing they're ripped down the middle and my fingers are sticking out in multiple spots) "I should probably order new gloves."
Alissa: "Ya think?"
Alissa: "Ya think?"
If it ever comes out that any ad-selling companies, be they Google, Facebook, Twitter etc, are inflating their revenue by having fake GenAI accounts "clicking" on ads, there should be an absolute avalanche of lawsuits.
November 11, 2025 at 1:00 PM
If it ever comes out that any ad-selling companies, be they Google, Facebook, Twitter etc, are inflating their revenue by having fake GenAI accounts "clicking" on ads, there should be an absolute avalanche of lawsuits.
Twitter is still a festering pit of sewage, but watching Joyce Carol Oates absolutely curb stomp Musk while treating him like a petulant 12 yr old is a nice oasis among the crap.
November 11, 2025 at 8:29 AM
Twitter is still a festering pit of sewage, but watching Joyce Carol Oates absolutely curb stomp Musk while treating him like a petulant 12 yr old is a nice oasis among the crap.
Get ready to laugh from DUSK TILL DAWN!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
November 11, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Get ready to laugh from DUSK TILL DAWN!
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
BILL THE VAMPIRE - There are reasons we fear the night. He's NOT one of them.
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B0058I8A6K
Verizon: “Your estimated hold time is 4 minutes.”
Starting to think Verizon is on Venusian time.
Starting to think Verizon is on Venusian time.
November 10, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Verizon: “Your estimated hold time is 4 minutes.”
Starting to think Verizon is on Venusian time.
Starting to think Verizon is on Venusian time.
If you hate gay marriage you're about to have a bad day, because the Supreme Court told Kim Davis to go pound sand ... Sand probably being the name of her soon-to-be 6th husband.
November 10, 2025 at 4:03 PM
If you hate gay marriage you're about to have a bad day, because the Supreme Court told Kim Davis to go pound sand ... Sand probably being the name of her soon-to-be 6th husband.
Today would be a great day for @aoc.bsky.social to announce she’s primarying Chuck Schumer.
November 10, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Today would be a great day for @aoc.bsky.social to announce she’s primarying Chuck Schumer.
Should’ve guessed it. Democrats in the Senate took every bit of hope and momentum gained last week and flushed it all down the toilet - all for a pinky swear and the hope that people will blame Republicans instead of their cowardly asses.
November 10, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Should’ve guessed it. Democrats in the Senate took every bit of hope and momentum gained last week and flushed it all down the toilet - all for a pinky swear and the hope that people will blame Republicans instead of their cowardly asses.
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
November 10, 2025 at 4:30 AM
“What are you?”
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
“Nothing you’ve ever seen before. I’m a whole lot of badass in a pretty little package.”
Tamara Bentley is ... THE GIRL WHO PUNCHES WEREWOLVES
For ebook, print, and audio.
www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBT1JH1
There's nothing wrong with Dek and Kwai, but I would've loved it if Predator Badlands had leaned into the weird - giving Predators ridiculous Invader Zim type names instead.
"What is your name?"
"I am Schlooob of the Yautja and this is my brother, Kleewabeeb."
"What is your name?"
"I am Schlooob of the Yautja and this is my brother, Kleewabeeb."
November 9, 2025 at 4:59 PM
There's nothing wrong with Dek and Kwai, but I would've loved it if Predator Badlands had leaned into the weird - giving Predators ridiculous Invader Zim type names instead.
"What is your name?"
"I am Schlooob of the Yautja and this is my brother, Kleewabeeb."
"What is your name?"
"I am Schlooob of the Yautja and this is my brother, Kleewabeeb."
Okay freaky AF. The missing cheese - the one that caused my kid to have a meltdown yesterday and that we tore apart the fridge looking for yesterday - is sitting there in the fridge front and center this AM.
November 9, 2025 at 11:24 AM
Okay freaky AF. The missing cheese - the one that caused my kid to have a meltdown yesterday and that we tore apart the fridge looking for yesterday - is sitting there in the fridge front and center this AM.