[first date]
HER: So, I hear you're a dog person-
ME: [tucking my tail between my legs] WHO TOLD YOU
HER: So, I hear you're a dog person-
ME: [tucking my tail between my legs] WHO TOLD YOU
November 11, 2025 at 11:45 PM
[first date]
HER: So, I hear you're a dog person-
ME: [tucking my tail between my legs] WHO TOLD YOU
HER: So, I hear you're a dog person-
ME: [tucking my tail between my legs] WHO TOLD YOU
"Tonight is gonna be hot, baby' I say as I light my hair on fire.
November 11, 2025 at 6:19 AM
"Tonight is gonna be hot, baby' I say as I light my hair on fire.
Reposted by Reverend Scott
live in the living room
die in the dining room
die in the dining room
November 11, 2025 at 5:46 AM
live in the living room
die in the dining room
die in the dining room
My favorite part of these expensive air fresheners that you plug in and they last for 60 days is how they stop smelling after 2.
November 11, 2025 at 1:04 AM
My favorite part of these expensive air fresheners that you plug in and they last for 60 days is how they stop smelling after 2.
Gonna be a wild birthday weekend
November 8, 2025 at 1:56 AM
Gonna be a wild birthday weekend
Reposted by Reverend Scott
I'll never forget my dad's last words: "It's way past Halloween. Why's this caution tape still on the elevator?"
November 5, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I'll never forget my dad's last words: "It's way past Halloween. Why's this caution tape still on the elevator?"
Halloween may be over but there's still a skeleton inside of you.
November 5, 2025 at 6:03 AM
Halloween may be over but there's still a skeleton inside of you.
The vodka is strong. I am officially no longer responsible for my actions or something
March 1, 2025 at 1:44 AM
The vodka is strong. I am officially no longer responsible for my actions or something
@bossvnova.bsky.social I can't even explain how insanely huge The Matrix was when it released. The reveal in the theater was legendary. But today's standards it does start out a bit goofy, but it certainly holds up overall. So glad you appreciated it.
January 17, 2025 at 4:27 AM
@bossvnova.bsky.social I can't even explain how insanely huge The Matrix was when it released. The reveal in the theater was legendary. But today's standards it does start out a bit goofy, but it certainly holds up overall. So glad you appreciated it.
It's depressing to think that I've already been mad or stressed out enough to develop any dormant super powers I may have hundreds of times already.
August 2, 2023 at 1:51 PM
It's depressing to think that I've already been mad or stressed out enough to develop any dormant super powers I may have hundreds of times already.
How historically accurate is Oppenheimer in regards to how high up he wore his pants?
July 23, 2023 at 9:01 PM
How historically accurate is Oppenheimer in regards to how high up he wore his pants?
The fact that Fall Out Boy did a Jungle Book song cover and aren't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a travesty.
July 9, 2023 at 8:41 PM
The fact that Fall Out Boy did a Jungle Book song cover and aren't in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a travesty.
I just saw the new Indiana Jones movie. At one point they say he's wanted for murder. They just end the movie without ever addressing it again.
July 4, 2023 at 12:00 AM
I just saw the new Indiana Jones movie. At one point they say he's wanted for murder. They just end the movie without ever addressing it again.
Dog 911: what's ur emergency?
Dog: MY HUMAN WENT TO WORK
Dog 911: so?
Dog: WHAT IF THIS TIME HE DOESN'T COME BACK
Dog 911: OMG
Dog: OMG
Dog: MY HUMAN WENT TO WORK
Dog 911: so?
Dog: WHAT IF THIS TIME HE DOESN'T COME BACK
Dog 911: OMG
Dog: OMG
June 28, 2023 at 3:40 AM
Dog 911: what's ur emergency?
Dog: MY HUMAN WENT TO WORK
Dog 911: so?
Dog: WHAT IF THIS TIME HE DOESN'T COME BACK
Dog 911: OMG
Dog: OMG
Dog: MY HUMAN WENT TO WORK
Dog 911: so?
Dog: WHAT IF THIS TIME HE DOESN'T COME BACK
Dog 911: OMG
Dog: OMG
wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing giraffe?
me measuring the ceiling: no idea.
me measuring the ceiling: no idea.
June 28, 2023 at 3:38 AM
wife: um, why is the zoo calling about a missing giraffe?
me measuring the ceiling: no idea.
me measuring the ceiling: no idea.
DAD: You like Corvettes, right?
SON: Ya!
DAD: Go look in the driveway.
SON: OMG
[driveway is empty]
DAD: Nobody cares what you like.
SON: Ya!
DAD: Go look in the driveway.
SON: OMG
[driveway is empty]
DAD: Nobody cares what you like.
June 28, 2023 at 3:38 AM
DAD: You like Corvettes, right?
SON: Ya!
DAD: Go look in the driveway.
SON: OMG
[driveway is empty]
DAD: Nobody cares what you like.
SON: Ya!
DAD: Go look in the driveway.
SON: OMG
[driveway is empty]
DAD: Nobody cares what you like.