Numbers don't matter to me in who I consider to be a peer. We're all streamers. We're all doing something we enjoy. Sometimes we all just want that validation from other streamers.

Everything and everyone around me is just like a target or something.

I'm always having this crisis and it's just no fucking wonder all my friend groups left me. I'm just such like nothing. What's even the point if I can't fucking do it

Every single time I get asked to do something I just don't.. do it. I feel bad and uninvited almost. I'm just not it

I'm just such a bad friend to everyone around me to be honest. Just constantly doing the worst or bare minimum or something. I'm literally just not.. good. Idk. Maybe I'm just really fucking bad at all of this and I am better off just being in my own little hole. I'm not good enough.

I feel like I want to be included and I want to be part of people's lives but I keep failing them or just not making as much of an effort so it's probably why I just don't do anything anymore like that. Idk. I'm just the worst type of friend

Having thoughts come to life is certainly something that's reassuring as a cptsd survivor. Making sure that your gut feelings were correct and going through the motions of many things in your life always has an air or "Oh what the fuck did I do" but it's good on me for recognizing myself