reky vent
@rekyvents.bsky.social
Venting account for @reky.channel , may be unhinged with art too idk, but mostly a vent account and posting thoughts i wouldn't on my main account to separate the two
My purpose in life is to be used and then thrown away
December 8, 2025 at 11:39 PM
My purpose in life is to be used and then thrown away
Fucking, finally.
The wave of unfollows on twitch stopped. I lost a good 20-30 people and I really thought it was gonna be just endless. I normally don't care, but going for a goal and then just having you go back to square 1 20 times was a lot. i just had a lot of fun today. so much fun really.
The wave of unfollows on twitch stopped. I lost a good 20-30 people and I really thought it was gonna be just endless. I normally don't care, but going for a goal and then just having you go back to square 1 20 times was a lot. i just had a lot of fun today. so much fun really.
December 8, 2025 at 6:12 AM
Fucking, finally.
The wave of unfollows on twitch stopped. I lost a good 20-30 people and I really thought it was gonna be just endless. I normally don't care, but going for a goal and then just having you go back to square 1 20 times was a lot. i just had a lot of fun today. so much fun really.
The wave of unfollows on twitch stopped. I lost a good 20-30 people and I really thought it was gonna be just endless. I normally don't care, but going for a goal and then just having you go back to square 1 20 times was a lot. i just had a lot of fun today. so much fun really.
Today felt like a very useless day and I kinda feel really shit and I kinda am trying to avoid a depressive slump but holy shit was today such a nothing day after all of that. I just genuinely feel really bad lol.
December 7, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Today felt like a very useless day and I kinda feel really shit and I kinda am trying to avoid a depressive slump but holy shit was today such a nothing day after all of that. I just genuinely feel really bad lol.
Literally having 3 hours of my time just, gone, really trook the fucking wind out of me. I just straight up do not feel good.
December 7, 2025 at 5:07 AM
Literally having 3 hours of my time just, gone, really trook the fucking wind out of me. I just straight up do not feel good.
Genuinely sad how I've all but confirmed some stuff that's been going on and it just kinda sucks. It's the most unfortunate feelings you can have but all you can do is keep going tbh. To push through the fear and keep pushing regardless of what one may feel. To continue doing and being you
December 5, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Genuinely sad how I've all but confirmed some stuff that's been going on and it just kinda sucks. It's the most unfortunate feelings you can have but all you can do is keep going tbh. To push through the fear and keep pushing regardless of what one may feel. To continue doing and being you
Genuinely going mad but also genuinely not understanding how or why my twitch has stagnated so badly. It's genuinely frustrating.
December 4, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Genuinely going mad but also genuinely not understanding how or why my twitch has stagnated so badly. It's genuinely frustrating.
Today feels like a day in which the entire world is on pause or I am basically invisible today.
December 4, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Today feels like a day in which the entire world is on pause or I am basically invisible today.
I feel like I haven't really deserved what I have earned and I think today I'll take that time to deconstruct that and see if that really makes sense or not.
Even at my own job I don't feel like it's earned
Even at my own job I don't feel like it's earned
December 4, 2025 at 5:01 PM
I feel like I haven't really deserved what I have earned and I think today I'll take that time to deconstruct that and see if that really makes sense or not.
Even at my own job I don't feel like it's earned
Even at my own job I don't feel like it's earned
Today feels a lot like a "I will immediately just check out and not interact with anything" day because I genuinely feel like there is no point yes
December 4, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Today feels a lot like a "I will immediately just check out and not interact with anything" day because I genuinely feel like there is no point yes
I should note that I'm not upset about streaming or anything I just feel like I'm so tired that I genuinely have the ick (also like probably physically sick too tbh)
December 4, 2025 at 5:49 AM
I should note that I'm not upset about streaming or anything I just feel like I'm so tired that I genuinely have the ick (also like probably physically sick too tbh)
Streamed way past what i thought was ok, really fucked me up. God I hope my job approves my vacation. This week really fucked me up. I think I need extra sleep or something because I do not feel good at all.
December 4, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Streamed way past what i thought was ok, really fucked me up. God I hope my job approves my vacation. This week really fucked me up. I think I need extra sleep or something because I do not feel good at all.
But what if instead I just thought people disliked me. I just like. Did what I usually do and send stickers and be cat coded and just told people I appreciate them because as much as I tell myself to do more, that's just what I do at the end of the day. I'm full of love and want to share it
December 3, 2025 at 1:12 AM
But what if instead I just thought people disliked me. I just like. Did what I usually do and send stickers and be cat coded and just told people I appreciate them because as much as I tell myself to do more, that's just what I do at the end of the day. I'm full of love and want to share it
It's been really hard for me to try and talk to my friends again as friends because I feel like I've hurt them so much that they probably don't even want to really talk to me that much anymore and it just kinda sucks. Maybe it's the long work week and lack of sleep that I feel so defeated about it
December 3, 2025 at 12:46 AM
It's been really hard for me to try and talk to my friends again as friends because I feel like I've hurt them so much that they probably don't even want to really talk to me that much anymore and it just kinda sucks. Maybe it's the long work week and lack of sleep that I feel so defeated about it
I like. Really want to go on vacation.
Working a 10 hour shift is not it folks. And then after that I have to go back less than 12 hours later. Even if it's just for 3 hours of work, I still hate it. I wanna sleep. I also feel my body just kinda like, not.. cooperating rn and I'm just zzz
Working a 10 hour shift is not it folks. And then after that I have to go back less than 12 hours later. Even if it's just for 3 hours of work, I still hate it. I wanna sleep. I also feel my body just kinda like, not.. cooperating rn and I'm just zzz
December 2, 2025 at 11:43 PM
I like. Really want to go on vacation.
Working a 10 hour shift is not it folks. And then after that I have to go back less than 12 hours later. Even if it's just for 3 hours of work, I still hate it. I wanna sleep. I also feel my body just kinda like, not.. cooperating rn and I'm just zzz
Working a 10 hour shift is not it folks. And then after that I have to go back less than 12 hours later. Even if it's just for 3 hours of work, I still hate it. I wanna sleep. I also feel my body just kinda like, not.. cooperating rn and I'm just zzz
Today i actually forgot to change my follower notification to match the new name, but it absolutely felt like I was much more comfortable when i figured it out, like. I was able to just stream and not know if anyone followed or anything, and it helped with my psyche a lot. It made me feel more
December 1, 2025 at 5:15 AM
Today i actually forgot to change my follower notification to match the new name, but it absolutely felt like I was much more comfortable when i figured it out, like. I was able to just stream and not know if anyone followed or anything, and it helped with my psyche a lot. It made me feel more
Its just so hard to run a discord server tbh. I feel like my server is so dead, and idk what to really even do about that. 273 people and the server is like, all over the place. its just so hard, how do i even do that?
November 30, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Its just so hard to run a discord server tbh. I feel like my server is so dead, and idk what to really even do about that. 273 people and the server is like, all over the place. its just so hard, how do i even do that?
I'm trying to teach myself to let my guard down and just let go of the worrying and almost just constantly asking if I'm too much or if my friends like me lately.
I really am trying to take thoughts that come up late at night and even throw it away. It's really fucking hard ngl.
I really am trying to take thoughts that come up late at night and even throw it away. It's really fucking hard ngl.
November 29, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I'm trying to teach myself to let my guard down and just let go of the worrying and almost just constantly asking if I'm too much or if my friends like me lately.
I really am trying to take thoughts that come up late at night and even throw it away. It's really fucking hard ngl.
I really am trying to take thoughts that come up late at night and even throw it away. It's really fucking hard ngl.
When im not streaming to fucking 8037489327u98 different noises that can appear at once I genuinely feel so much better.
I want my vnyan stuff, but my god my mental state was so much less "I'm waiting for the noises" and more for "I'm just hanging out with people" and it was so much better.
I want my vnyan stuff, but my god my mental state was so much less "I'm waiting for the noises" and more for "I'm just hanging out with people" and it was so much better.
November 29, 2025 at 7:36 AM
When im not streaming to fucking 8037489327u98 different noises that can appear at once I genuinely feel so much better.
I want my vnyan stuff, but my god my mental state was so much less "I'm waiting for the noises" and more for "I'm just hanging out with people" and it was so much better.
I want my vnyan stuff, but my god my mental state was so much less "I'm waiting for the noises" and more for "I'm just hanging out with people" and it was so much better.
I think I'll sit in this account until I feel better.
I feel safe and I feel like I don't have to go so crazy with everything all at once.
I didn't think that all of the eyes on me from streaming and everything would affect me until I realized how much I prefer the quiet solace.
I feel safe and I feel like I don't have to go so crazy with everything all at once.
I didn't think that all of the eyes on me from streaming and everything would affect me until I realized how much I prefer the quiet solace.
November 28, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I think I'll sit in this account until I feel better.
I feel safe and I feel like I don't have to go so crazy with everything all at once.
I didn't think that all of the eyes on me from streaming and everything would affect me until I realized how much I prefer the quiet solace.
I feel safe and I feel like I don't have to go so crazy with everything all at once.
I didn't think that all of the eyes on me from streaming and everything would affect me until I realized how much I prefer the quiet solace.
Therapy went well.
I have to navigate using things less, but with less monitoring overall.
Being afraid who unfollows, leaves me, etc. It is only amplifying my anxiety and cptsd after I already triggered myself having to block and unfollow people myself. It's scary. Maybe I'll use this as a main..
I have to navigate using things less, but with less monitoring overall.
Being afraid who unfollows, leaves me, etc. It is only amplifying my anxiety and cptsd after I already triggered myself having to block and unfollow people myself. It's scary. Maybe I'll use this as a main..
November 28, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Therapy went well.
I have to navigate using things less, but with less monitoring overall.
Being afraid who unfollows, leaves me, etc. It is only amplifying my anxiety and cptsd after I already triggered myself having to block and unfollow people myself. It's scary. Maybe I'll use this as a main..
I have to navigate using things less, but with less monitoring overall.
Being afraid who unfollows, leaves me, etc. It is only amplifying my anxiety and cptsd after I already triggered myself having to block and unfollow people myself. It's scary. Maybe I'll use this as a main..
Everyone is forgiving me for being so down, and its so foreign to me. But it feels nice. But it's so foreign.
November 28, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Everyone is forgiving me for being so down, and its so foreign to me. But it feels nice. But it's so foreign.
Thankfully my therapist got back to me. I have a appointment today. I hope to talk about what happened last night
November 28, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Thankfully my therapist got back to me. I have a appointment today. I hope to talk about what happened last night
I think I cried for an hour or two, but I'm doing.. ok. I guess.
I feel like I've been needing that. But now I have to talk to my therapist.
I'm sorry if I haven't been the best person to talk to, and I want to talk to people more. And I don't want people to feel afraid to talk to me. I'm sorry.
I feel like I've been needing that. But now I have to talk to my therapist.
I'm sorry if I haven't been the best person to talk to, and I want to talk to people more. And I don't want people to feel afraid to talk to me. I'm sorry.
November 28, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I think I cried for an hour or two, but I'm doing.. ok. I guess.
I feel like I've been needing that. But now I have to talk to my therapist.
I'm sorry if I haven't been the best person to talk to, and I want to talk to people more. And I don't want people to feel afraid to talk to me. I'm sorry.
I feel like I've been needing that. But now I have to talk to my therapist.
I'm sorry if I haven't been the best person to talk to, and I want to talk to people more. And I don't want people to feel afraid to talk to me. I'm sorry.
I'm trying to see if I can get a appointment earlier this week before Monday. I can't do this. I can't handle it anymore.
I've hurt so many people by being so annoying. I can't handle it. I'm just so sorry.
I've hurt so many people by being so annoying. I can't handle it. I'm just so sorry.
November 28, 2025 at 7:29 AM
I'm trying to see if I can get a appointment earlier this week before Monday. I can't do this. I can't handle it anymore.
I've hurt so many people by being so annoying. I can't handle it. I'm just so sorry.
I've hurt so many people by being so annoying. I can't handle it. I'm just so sorry.
I probably just don't belong in the vtuber space.
November 28, 2025 at 5:44 AM
I probably just don't belong in the vtuber space.